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Pants McSkill

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Everything posted by Pants McSkill

  1. If you took the CB position, lay the controller flat on the floor and spent the entire game curling a big shit on it - wiggling your arse from side to side in a desperate attempt to try and get the dangling turd to knock the thumbstick - you'd do better than me and Tobes tonight.
  2. I was writing that up when you posted! Seriously, don't worry, I don't have you as our CB in my head. You may not even make CB for our first games. I just want to assign a position each to look at players in that role. I figured you'd be better at Cb's and Tobert would be better at WB's. You'll definitely get some games up front. Go find me a brilliant CB hiding on the bench.
  3. Top row, right hand side.... Steven Gerrard. Phwoar, fit, Would, etc.
  4. We've plenty of good attacking players in here. There'll definitely be some kind of rotation going on. And one of the reasons why I signed you all is there's not person in here who's going to throw a massive hissy fit about not playing in a certain position. IS THERE BOYS. But to kick things off, here's a very, very preliminary line-up. ---------Gambit-----Timmo---------- ---------------------------------------- ---------------Yawdib----------------- --------Pants----------Manic--------- ----------------Dave------------------ ----Billy--------------------Tobert---- -----------Petey----Sladie------------ I can't even begin to explain how this will change around. Gambit been signed primarily as a striker but is great at CB. Petey is a top CAM on his day, an even topper striker and an average CB . Billy is a WB or a WM or even a class CDM. Dave'll definitely get a game or five at CAM if he wants. The only reason I posted it is for two paragraphs below... We will be playing 41212. And rather than spending three weeks dicking about with formations whilst losing games we need to win, I want to spend our practice and cup games moving Noway's players around. They've got an abundance of versatility - shit there's about 9 solid contenders for CF role at the head of the diamond. So your first job boys is to come up with a list in preference order of players to play in your position. I'd like the top 5 if you can manage it and reasons why. Clearly there's a couple of no brainers like Carew up front, but even then, there's 4 contenders for his partnership role. Don't forget to look at the short passing stats - possibly the most important stat for a lot of positions. And don't forget that positions can be changed in a diamond - a WM can be a CAM or a CM, a CAM can be a CM, etc. The second thing we'll be working on is... Attacking full backs. Shock gasp, I know how dangerous that sounds and I know the amount of goals we could leak. But I know deep down it can work. It means we'll need intelligent team players in those spots who are good both defensively and in attack and can recognize when to push up and when to get back. For that reason I've decided to try BILLY and TOBERT there... to start with. It also needs a top CDM and two WM who will track back - that's Dave, me and Manic. But I feel me, Billy, Tobert, Manic and even Petey can all swap around there. We will conceed more goals. But get it right boys and we'll score plenty more to cover them. And I'm sure we'd all rather win 8-5 than 2-1.
  5. And now she's come second in an $8, 81-man shootout for $160. SKILLS. ON. HER.
  6. TOWN. NORWAY. WINNERS. Ah Town. Can you feel it? That... electricity in the air. That sense of destiny. That's for us boys. It's OUR time now. We're not like other teams. We don't set ourselves goals to aim for, or placings to achieve. We will simply strive to play as the best team we can be each and every week. We will have more fun than other teams. We will have more hilarious posts than other teams. And as such, we will be more of a team than all the others. And when we're more of a team, we win more games. It's no co-incidence that City and United have been the teams to beat over the last couple of seasons - thanks to the bond and togetherness Wincho and Steely have created. Equally, it's no surprise that last season, the best team on paper, Rovers, threw it all away when the bickering started. I've gone out of my way to assemble here not only some exceptional BAP players, but players most likely to bring that team mentality needed and that banter that makes Thursday nights so fun. Here is our illustrious and glorious gang of amaze. Pants McSkill - Manager Sladie - Assistant Manager Timmo - Captain Tobert - Vice Captain Funtime Dave - Cuddly Mascot Dan_tm - Head Steward Billy Brown - Club Shop Manager Pete1990 - Kit Washer Gambit - Burger Stall Cook Manic Minor - Tea Boy Welcome - and in the spirit of the new Town - I've had all your mums in the mouth.
  7. I furiously refute these allegations that hold no basis in fact. I have never been on safari, have not visited London Zoo in over 20 years, and although I have in fact visited Whipsnade Zoo three times, I stayed in the car on each and every occasion, even while those baboons tore off my windscreen wipers. I definitely did not buy any cuddly giraffe toys from the gift shop, nor any giraffe pens, rubbers, springy giraffe things that you stick on the end of a pencil or a t-shirt with a picture of a grinning giraffe baring the slogan "You're having a Giraffe mate!". Damningly, I will admit my favourite joke is the one where a Man and a Giraffe walk into a bar.
  8. Billy's Hand: I think overall it's very, very marginal. A good skill of a poker player is to adapt to changing table conditions and changing opponents. At 10NL, players who have already limped just don't fold to a raise PF. For that reason, I'm never, ever raising here at 10NL - and you shouldn't either when you start grinding it! The only note I'd have not mentioned by others is on the river. Once we hit our straight flush, I'm shoving when first to act. if they're holding a heart, they're not folding. MP has played aggressively on both the flop and turn, so he's not going anywhere. The CO has called two streets of MP's aggressiveness and now that almost every draw has just hit, he's not going anywhere. I think that we risk them checking behind more often than them calling, so it balances out to a shove for me. Edit: A guess at their hands! God, I've got no clue with 10NLers. I'm going with 2pair or a set for MP and JT with at least one heart for the CO.
  9. Tyler's not out, he doesn't have any friends. Unless he's staring at happy couples through restaurant windows, the condensation of his breath on the glass being washed away by the salty tears of loneliness as he weeps quietly to himself - one hand clasping a blue plastic carrier bag with some beans in it for his tea, the other clenched in a silent rage at the unjustness of life - how can they be so happy when his very soul aches so badly? It could be that.
  10. I've got money set aside for Nathan. Let's see if you can guess my limit. £1,000,00?
  11. Contracts submitted! Bring on the auction list.
  12. Player Preferences Page Heretic Contract Control: NO. Meaning I could ship you out to the first bidder over £1.47... I mean, I could carefully gage which team would give you a better shot at the title and push through the paperwork before they changed their mind, because I love you and have only your best interests at heart.
  13. Hello and Welcome to the Rllmuk Poker Strategy Thread! Here will be a place for beginners and experts alike to share tips, discuss points and talk about hands. I'd like to invite the resident 'Grinders' to write an article each on a particular part of Poker strategy, which will be indexed below. It can be on tournament play or cash, software or bank roll guides, it can be any part of poker you have a good handle on that you think people might benefit from. I'd also like to invite anyone who plays at all to start posting hand histories in here. It can be any hand you weren't sure about, whether you lost a bunch of chips or you made a fold you weren't happy with, or even won a load of chips by sucking out! For any player who doesn't already do this, it's a fantastic way of improving your game as other players can highlight areas you don't even know you're weak in. And you also improve by reading other players posts and working out what you would do in the same situation. And this is a very, very friendly place. If some terminology pops up you don't know like 'the CO limps' or '10NL', just ask away and someone will happily clarify. In the cases above 'CO' refers to 'The Cut-Off' - the position of a player sat one to the right of the Button, two to the right of the player in the Small Blind and three to the right of the player sat in the Big Blind. '10NL' refers to the stakes a cash game is played at, and is denoted by 100 times the big blind. In this case, 10NL refers to a cash game where the small blind is 5¢ and the big blind is 10¢ - 100 times the big blind would be $10, so 10NL. 5NL is 2¢/5¢ blinds and 200NL is $1/$2 blinds. With a bit of luck, we'll all be millionaires thanks to this thread. Guides: Pants McSkill's guide to betting!
  14. My very awesome girlfriend has just finished second in a $2 rebuy MTT with 612 entrants for a $352 prize. And yay, the student has surpassed the master.
  15. Sorry I missed out, I got caught up in destroying Winch & Nathan, and also having a shit with my headset still on.
  16. And who do we PM our contract re-newels (sp?) for stage 2 to?
  17. "Likes Tetley Tea". And for that reason, I'm out.
  18. NEW TOWN MANAGER PRISES PRICKS AWAY FROM UNITED; PEOPLE EXCLAIM "HOLY SHIT-FUCK-CHRIST". Sky Sports: So Mr McSkill, why Timmo? Pants McSkill: I like stats. I like ratios. Timmo, he has better goal ratio than Tyler up front. Therefore he play up my front. Simples. SS: And why Manic? PM: I like pricks. I like hard pricks. Manic, he is harder and pricker than Tyler. Therefore he prick up all over my front. Simples. SS: And why Gambit? PM: I like jokes. I like funnies. Gambit, he funnier than Tyler, especially when he talk about being sick in the City thread. He threw up all over his jeans! HAHAHAHA. So now he throw up goals everywhere. Simples. SS: Disappointed to let JohhnyArgos go? PM: I am disappionted to let all my players go. They are my children, but hairier. Hairy children, all of them. When you lose a hairy child, your soul is always sad. But you must shave your soul and buy new children. They give gifts back to me, the gifts of goals. SS: ....What? PM: Exactly.
  19. I like the sound of this. A bit like a pre-season, all-star match. Except with the shit players. A pre-season, no-star match then.
  20. Well chaps, we've lost some fantastic boys in Tomox, Heretic, Johnny and Joffy. Some big personalities there. But I feel we've more than made up for it with Gambit, Timmo and Manic! I foresee a season of goals galore (at both ends) and mum cussing galore (about both her ends). It's a dawn of a new era, boys, a new era.
  21. Isn't that BOPGOF? Buy one prick, get one free? I mean... Welcome to Town, Timmo and Manic! Along with new blood Gambit, I SMELL GOALS O'CLOCK.
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