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Mark X

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  1. Ah, but with mobile phone games you've got to contend with the 87% chance it'll be entirely unplayable using a mobile phone keypad. With the iPhone, that figure is down to around 63%. So, erm, yeah.
  2. Fair point. To be really worth £6, it should allow several Scrabulous-style ongoing games between groups of human participants. It'd be the least Hasbro could do after having the people behind Scrabulous sued to death.
  3. As surprising as it may now seem (at least for me - back when the iPhone/Touch was first mooted as a viable gaming format, I didn't buy into the idea at all), the Apps Store is a wonderful digital manifestation of the 8-bit budget games scene. It's 2009, but people are so spoiled by the plethora of lo-cost games on offer there, they're likely to be a bit peeved when something goes on sale for £5.99 (as whoever it was that said so about Scrabble just a few posts back). Granted, the quality of the games on offer vary wildly, but is that really so different from the golden age of Bug-Byte, "Absolutely Brilliant"-era CodeMasters, Zeppelin Games et al? My current favourite distractions are: Pocket Tanks (an update of classic Amiga PD artiller-fest Scorched Tanks) - iTunes link (£2.99). Player vs player, or player vs CPU, tens shots each, highest score wins. Maddeningly addictive, and well suited to the touch-screen interface, though it'd surely benefit from allowing more than two players per game in a future version. Second distraction: Monopoly Here & Now: World Edition - iTunes link (also £2.99). It's Monopoly (with up to four players, and mixture of humans and CPU players), and it's the best non-physical version of it that I've played on any format.
  4. Agger re-signing = good news, undoubtedly (and, to be honest, surprisingly - have they relented to his mammoth pay demands?). I haven't been paying attention to this thread for, well, ages, so does anyone else think that with Liverpool having scored to many goals this season the bulk of the summer's transfer budget will be spent on a proper right-back? Instead of a decent back-up forward?
  5. I'm still waiting for the long-promised update to Horny Estelle. C'mon Brooker, it's only been twelve years since you'd promised it. For the record, I can't help but feel SuperKaylo was heavily influenced by Peter Bagge's 'Hate' comics. Now, I haven't looked at PC Zone for years (is the mighty Jon Blyth still a staff writer?), but there really ought to be some sort of Brooker anthology paperback due from them soon. Anyway, I'd say NewsWipe is the closest (out of the MANY attempts UK broadcasters have made) to achieving a British The Daily Show. Pretty much every other stab at the format (Tonightly, The Late Edition, Not Tonight With John Sergeant, News Knight, etc, etc) has taken the whole OMG John Prescott Is Fat OMFGROTFL angle to the news, whereas NewsWipe has (intentionally or otherwise) picked up on the fact that Jon Stewart has generally run with taking the piss out of the mainstream media's common-denominator take on current affairs. A commendable approach, fo' sho', but also a brave one considering The Colbert Report has just been dropped by FXUK, due to poor ratings. While the approach of enforcing lazily-received opinions may well have suited NewsWipe (as it does Have I Got YouTubeMemes For You), they didn't go with that. They did things properly, bringing in reports from Nick Davies et al, to their eternal credit. On the negative side, the Newswipe crew did crowbar in a load of distracting background music, so I can't be wholly positive about it. The aggregate score is still a NewsWipe win, though. Well done them.
  6. I'll agree with everyone who'd said Emiliana Torrini. Also: Action Biker (who named her act after the Mastertronic 8-bit game of the same name, which must surely be worth a tonne of bonus points. Sadly, there isn't a 'proper' video for her ace track "By Myself", but hopefully that YouTube live version will do.) The High Water Marks - With vocals from Hilarie Sidney, formerly of The Apples In Stereo. Meltingly great, stupendously underrated. April March - Possibly now best known for performing Chick Habit from off of Tarantino's Death Proof and a car advert. It even got played on 6Music the other week. Yeah, only 15 years too late, 6Music. Anyway, she's excellent, and finally recording again too, thankfully. Oh, and she was an animator on Ren and Stimpy, so there's another reason to fall in love with her. Vive La Fete - with the utterly swoonsome Els Pynoo on vocal duties, it's yet another marvellously loud Belgian electro-pop band, following in the footsteps of Soulwax and Front 242. Hey, just maybe all the lazy stand-up comics using Belgium as comedic shorthand for 'really dull' should just shut the collective fuck up, no? Robots In Disguise - Despite the unfortunate choice of 'Related Videos' for that YouTube link, they are also ace. Kimya Dawson - Music that could accurately be described as 'brooding', 'thought provoking', 'marvellous' and even 'breathtaking'. You know all the songs in Juno you hadn't heard of before but that you really liked? Yeah, they were probably by her. Blood Red Shoes - Who could ever have thought that the concept of "rock music that actually fucking well rocks" would be such a rare commodity in space year 2008? Luckily, BRS are here to try and redress the balance. Thanks Blood Red Shoes! France Gall - Hey, here's a thing. Why the ruddy fuck do they still bother with Eurovision. Luxembourg's entry from 1965 is so good, it wins every Eurovision EVER. The linked track is so good, the Arcade Fire did a cover version of it, released it as a limited 7" single, and knocked the rest of their output into a slightly surprised cocked hat.
  7. One stupidly obvious thing that should be in the DLC (which would be tremendously easy to implement) is an option of reverse courses on multiplayer races/GTA races. All it would need is placing the checkpoints in reverse order on the map, and the number of courses is instantly doubled. It'd make over-used tracks like Taxiing interesting again.
  8. Cripes, just imagine overclocking the 360. It'd probably explode.
  9. Oh dear. Why do I have this sudden feeling that I'm about to become the Xbox Live equivalent of That Girl At School Who Let Boys Look Down Her Pants For Ten Pee? "Go on. Lerrus shoot you in the face. It'll make you popular." I'm washing but the dirtyness isn't coming off!
  10. I can now become a zombie, although I might just have missed that option before now.
  11. Crikey. Now, I'm an incredible duffer at multiplayer GTA4 - in fact, I've just turned off my 360 in a petulant sulk after getting my arse handed to me in Mafiya mode for the umpteenth time*. In my entire GTA Race online 'career', I've notched up around half a dozen kills. With this in mind, can anyone tell me how the ruddy fuck I've found myself getting this achievement? I must be the lamest person to do something UBER7337 ever. (*I'm shooting another player who is in a crap car, IN THE FACE for five seconds with a MASSIVE gun. They slowly turn around and cave my skull in with a pea shooter within a blink of an eye, even though I've got cocking body armour on THE STUPID DEVIOUS FUCKING BALL LICKER. And relax.)
  12. I managed to miss this, due to the same circuitous set of circumstances that led me to miss the new ep of Peep Show (yay for Usenet, eh?), but did Darren continue to use the device of the "trick/treat" cards* that read 'trick' no matter which way they're held up? A pity if he did. (*Oh, just Google it if you don't know what I mean, there. But basically, the cards read 'trick', whichever way they were held up to camera.)
  13. Aw, from the thread title, I'd thought it was a movie featuring Will Smith portraying Anthony Aloysius and sparring with Hollywood versions of Sid James and Hattie Jaqu... I'm joking, clearly. This actually looks pretty good, and I'm going to go with my (largely unfounded) theory that any movie featuring two or more people from the cast of Arrested Development is better than you'd expect it to be (see Runaway Vacation - Job and Buster Bluth, Juno - Michael and George Michael). If they can sneak in a cameo for Jeffrey Tambor, it's sure to be the greatest piece of cinema ever created*. (*Disclaimer: I feel the need to reiterate, my Arrested Development theory is largely untested.)
  14. My initial WiiFit thoughts: If your first WiiFit age was calculated while you were still getting to grips with the board, do some exercises and try again later. My first age was a good +11 years (eek!). After getting used to the board (and more importantly, not just timing out on the last of the balance tests), I re-did the test and arrived at a wholly satisfactory +1 year. Despite being comfortably into the 'overweight' range. Males! On NO ACCOUNT WHATSOEVER allow anyone else see you perform the 'jogging' stage, unless you want to be dubbed the girliest male ever to flounce about Planet Earth. It's all jolly good fun. (Extra bonus secret tip: if you've got a WiiKey fitted, and you're worried about the forced update (like me), there is a way around it (or at least, there was for me). What this entails might be against RLLMUK rules, so either Google it, or IM me.)
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