So yeah, Amazon UK didn't dispatch yesterday, and it's currently scheduled for delivery tomorrow (lol)
Spoke to a few Amazon customer service people today on their livechat service to ask what the problem is, got different shades of the same bullshit from all of them.
But I did leave some choice comments in the survey after one of these live chats, and was asked to leave my number. One of the managers rang me up five minutes later who assured me that things will sorted tonight and he'll ring me tonight when the item dispatches.
He's just rang me now before he clocked off at 9pm.
I was expecting him to say that my order is about to dispatch, but he basically said that there's been no movement, and there's nothing else he can say at this point.
At that moment I nicked one of @Flub's lines and said "do you actually have the items?" to which he replied. "We do, but that's all I can say right now."
I asked about compensation, and he said that management are looking into it, and we might get an email soon. I guess that's what @Flub's email is all about.