Let us measure

Nah, they're shit.

Min Min won the final Party Crash tournament last year, which was basically one big popularity contest, so chances are high that it's her. Which is great cos she's awesome.

I don't know if it's been talked about, but Doom 64 is really, really good. It passed me by back in the day (even though I think I had the cart) because it was crummy 2D sprites and old school keys-in-doors level design in the era of Goldeneye and Perfect Dark and Turok 2. Turns out it has aged better than any of them. Get on't.

Strange Journey is a bloody amazing game that deserves to be tried by everybody. Tough as nails with an amazing set-up and oppressive-as soundtrack.

Hot cross bun goku satsu

Just passing through, but don't forget that the inimitable Pop'n Twinbee is now available on the SNES app on Switch. It's my favourite Twinbee, and a ridiculously charming shmup. A bit on the easy side maybe for you seasoned hardcore, but a good time nonetheless.

I think I'm starting to see why Shenmue 3 is so divisive though. Aside from everyone defending the game being men of impeccable taste and cultured virtue, the main issue seems to be one of expectations. Dumpster lists the fact that it feels like a game from the DC era as a negative, whereas for me this is one of the main strengths of the game. It's a bit like Sonic Mania. Sonic Mania was created as a 'What if...?' game. What if the 2D Sonic series had continued on the Sega Saturn? Sonic Mania succeeds because it is very much a game made in 1997, with all the level design quirks and idiosyncrasies of a 2D platformer of that era included in the package. If you were expecting a Sonic game for the 21st century, you'd be coming away disappointed. For me, Shenmue 3 falls into this same mould. What if Shenmue had continued on the DC? Or Shenmue 3 had been a PS2 title? Given the Kickstarter upbringing and the incredible weight of expectation of 18 years, maybe my expectations were kept a little in check. I certainly wasn't expecting, and deep down didn't really want, a 'modern' cinematic blockbuster. I expected and wanted more Shenmue. The vibes, the gorgeous Chinese strings in the soundtrack, the amazing sense of place, the sick martial arts moves, and yes, the stilted dialogue and the waiting around and the general jankiness of the UI. That's all Shenmue to me. And I got more than enough of that in this game.

OK, but A) There is story progression. The amount of 'stuff' that goes down is just on par with, if not actually more than, Shenmue 1. B) There's a lot of neat missable dialogue between Ryo and Shenhua. You get to know Ryo as a personality a lot better than you ever do in the first two games. The Ryo - Ren relationship is shallow, I agree, but also comical and fitting. Finding herbs and food is a complete non-issue. Herb collecting is satisfying as. C) Bailu village tower was a great moment! Akin to finding the basement beneath the Hazuki dojo for me. Hidden secrets and all that. Dialogue is precisely as Shenmue as it needs to be. All you need to do is remember the owner of the sweet shop's VA in Shenmue 1 ('my little suede-headed Ryooouu', etc.) to realise that Shenmue 3's dialogue is of a general higher standard. Although I agree that's not saying much.

Semi-personal? Not too sure what your point about Shenhua is. I do find it interesting though that you fairweather fans have been able to bitch and moan about a glacial pace and lack of story and having to look into drawers and stuff (all things pretty much part and parcel of the Shenmue experience since the beginning), without ever elaborating on what exactly needed to be done to make Shenmue 3 a worthy sequel in your eyes. So I ask again: What would a perfect Shenmue 3 have looked like to you? And in what ways would it have been different to the one we got?

Indeed. Someone who couldn't be arsed to have a nose around the Bailu temple museum for five minutes and yet claims that the previous games, with their cha wen signs and book airing and forklift driving and other such similar menial tasks, are two of the best games of their generation. It's just such a... contradiction? You didn't even reach Niaowu @dumpster! Shenmue 3, on my second play through, is becoming one of my favourite PS4 games. It's cosy in the way Animal Crossing is, a tiny part of a world and its inhabitants that you get to know really well. The story here is Ryo's quiet development as a martial artist, and the way he's able to open up to Shenhua in a way he couldn't to his friends back in Japan. It's a janky game with a lot of heart and it's a more than worthy continuation of the saga.

Great feat fella, well done! I'm currently aiming for all side quests and all fishing spots done. Doubt I'll ever be able to get the all herbs or 1000 fish trophs though!

OK, thanks for the heads up. Yeah, once you've played one Psikyo you've kinda played them all, but it would be nice to complete the Strikers collection.

Where the flaming hell is my Strikers 1999?! I've bought all the other Psikyo shmups on the Alpha Collection, so not too keen on spending £35 just for one more...

I've really enjoyed Shikhondo, amazing Korean aesthetic which makes a bit of a change. It's fairly simple and the leader boards seem a bit borked, but it's good fun. Some great tunes too.

I don't really get Fantasy Zone, and that annoys me. I've been playing Super Fantasy Zone on my MD Mini, as well as the gorgeous Fantasy Zone II 3D Classic on the 3DS, but the gameplay leaves me a bit perplexed. The two-directional thing annoys me as I often have to reposition myself by flying back and forth to be able to take out the generator flower thingies. And @Stanshall mentions saving coins so that you can go all super market sweep at the shop balloon, but said shop balloon only ever appears at right at the beginning of the stage and then never again. Which means, given the upgrade time limits, that stage bosses are usually fought with your bog-standard shot and bombs and nowt else. Maybe that's the point? I don't know, I don't find it very satisfying. I guess I'm asking for advice - help me get better at Fantasy Zone!