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Everything posted by BitterToad

  1. "Hold onto your hats" has been making me laugh all week. It's such a clear "I've fucked this, haven't I?" moment. The realisation that you have no Zeldas on a machine that could have had two Zeldas.
  2. People throw around terms like "switch off your brain TV" maybe a little too much but I basically have to force myself into a corpse like state for an hour a week for The Apprentice. And I think the first two weeks of this series are about as much as I've laughed at TV this year. You have to really train yourself to take things completely at face value. There are moments each week where my brain starts giving me things like; "well if you're going to wake them up at 4am they're going to be tir-" NO! DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! YOU ARE A CORPSE! "you work in this industry, adverts take days of planning before you even get into shooting- " STOP! THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT! NOTHING MORE! BE MORE CORPSE! "Alan Sugar is directly contradicting himself mid sentence and is a bad perso-" IT DOESN'T MATTER. NONE OF IT MATTERS. CORPSEY CORPSEY ENJOYEY APPRENTICE! It's basically that awful cereal with the marshmallows in it. Shite branded as something vaguely more. If you can stay corpse like there are some very very very funny moments where people make things that look like poos to enjoy but if not it's simply not for you.
  3. Oh holy shit Max Payne 3 is utterly incredible. I don't think we've seen a shooter since that feels so chunky and brutal. Leaning out of a helicopter with a big rifle shooting lads in the legs so that they tumble down stairs. Grabbing a revolver, shooting a guy in the head and then just pumping him full of bullets just to see the animation as he drops. As much as I feel like a psychopath typing that it fits quite well with Max as a character; Rockstar have managed to make Max Payne one and two Max look like a down to earth multi faceted character. 3's is dark and ridiculous and hideously offensive and completely stupid at all times. And I feel like they're aware of this, too. One minute he'll be hanging from a helicopter shooting rockets, the next he's dropping two feet from said helicopter and doing an old man noise whilst clutching his back. The story feels both properly grim and utterly hilarious. Current picks; I wouldn't have know right from wrong if one of them was helping the poor and one was banging my sister. We don't have time for America! Her outfit left little room for imagination, let alone food. I remember quite enjoying the game back in the day but not thinking it was crazy special. I bought it in the most recent sale and can easily see myself flying through it over the weekend and loving every second.
  4. Hollowseeker might be my favourite weapon. It just rinses through shit once you’ve got perks on it. And it feels fantastic.
  5. Having attended all three games it seems like our very long break due to other teams cancelling because of Covid has done us the world of good. Silva’s basically played exactly the same team three times in eight days (with a few tweaks/subs.) We’re also setting up to score against weaker opposition and that is clearly working very very well. Ive never seen anything like it though. We just constantly look like scoring and take all of our chances. Mitrovic is 3 off the record for most goals in a championship season in January, didn’t score last night and we still scored six. It’s a lot of fun whilst also being utter utter madness.
  6. Holy shit Timesplitters 2 has aged so so badly . I literally loaded up the first level, walked in front of a camera and then basically couldn't aim at anyone. So bad. So so bad. It's definitely made me appreciate how brilliant Halo was and is though.
  7. Do, uhh... do these count towards the only buying one game a month thing? Because I've been waiting for Burnout Revenge to go on sale since it was announced Backwards Compatible... and Max Payne 3... and if you're buying 3 why wouldn't you buy one and t
  8. Weird old show this. I wasn't a great fan of the first series of Mando but at least it always had The Child storyline there to drive it on. This just feels like Boba walking about the same few places not really doing much. The flashbacks are by far the most interesting thing happening and they seem to be becoming less and less of a feature, probably because trying to drive two storylines forward in a slow paced 34 minute show doesn't really work. Also basically all of the action is terrible? I kind of felt that way for a lot of season 1 of Mando but they totally nailed it in season 2 so I was hopeful for this. It's just all... so... slow. And the tone's about as consistent as Boba's teeth are with the rest of his face. Strange old show as I say. I think it still has potential but they need to make it feel like it's actually going somewhere pretty bloody sharpish, and I don't mean the mayor's office again.
  9. I can’t really understand how anyone can get lost on the critical path in this. And I spent the first half of “far too linear” Metroid Dread constantly confused. Whenever you’re lost just go back to the Lost Cemetery (clue’s in the name) and head to the crow. He’s at the summit and there are a fair few signs pointing in that direction knocking about. He’ll not only show you a picture of the entrance but also tell you what direction to head in. I think a map might have been nice to mop everything up once you’ve finished but I’m an idiot with no sense of direction and I genuinely didn’t get lost once in the main game.
  10. Anyway who wants to organise the GOTY next year? I'd imagine once all this is done Treble's off to chill out on that beach from the end of Shawshank with Morgan Freeman.
  11. I'm watching the excellent RKG guys play this and have come to realise something about a game I formerly absolutely loved.
  12. The game kind of throws a lot at you that you can't deal with yet at first. There are a few obtuse bits in there but most things kind of get sorted out as you play through. Enjoy the mystery for the first few hours, it's one of the best bits of the game.
  13. Yeah if you look at the gun there'll be a percentage next to various traits. Keep using it and it'll unlock over time.
  14. The other night playing it for the first time we hadn't realised there was a tutorial mission so our party were slowly getting to the pre mission hub area one by one. One of my mates just threw out the line "I'm playing Sardines by the way" and thus we began a game of Sardines in the hub. I found him and almost on instinct we both realised emote was on R3 at the same moment. This then lead into a good twenty minutes of our mates running round a ship trying to find us while we sat in silence absolutely punishing the R3 button. "Lads this is shit can we do a mission?" "ROCK AND STONE!" "I've been everywhere and I need to go in an hour and I'd like to play the actual game..." "DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE!?!?!?" Game's great too but I've not laughed like that playing an online game in some time.
  15. I think that's an interesting shout. For me I can't remember a game that's made a better first impression. Within five minutes you go from "oh this is quite interesting/dark/moody" to "oh holy shit this slaps". And that feeling never really went away. Every time I got frustrated or annoyed with it I'd walk away swearing and within an hour that sensation of "I would like to play the really fun thing again" would sink in and I'd be running around biome 1 taking names. It's a very special thing, I still load it up every so often just for the feeling of playing it. I'd bloody love some DLC.
  16. That's incredibly helpful, thanks! I'm running 23 race seasons I think but things seem to be wearing out at a similar rate so I'll keep the above in mind. I'll be honest managing a slightly knackered battery around Baku and still coming in 12th was one of the highlights of my gaming decade but it's probably not something I should be aiming for on the reg!
  17. I think they'd be pretty happy with the "hanging onto a combat loop from a 20 year game" criticism because I think that's actually the biggest compliment you could give the game. There are countless small additions to the sandbox in this that totally change individual moments but it still feels like they've done nothing to it. Which is sort of what people have been asking for since 343 have taken over the reigns. All of the weapons feel better than they ever have, the grappling hook, threat sensor and drop wall give you so many new and interesting options in combat; verticality, a way to get in and out of battle quickly, a way to defend, a way to plan based on enemy location, loads! It reminds me of when Street Fighter 4 came out and had all of these amazing new features and tweaks but the biggest thing I liked about it was that it still felt like Street Fighter. Infinite has tweaked things in big and small ways across the board but people who don't understand how much work goes into every tiny little balance come back with "well it's just Bungie's Halo..." when recreating that feeling is the most difficult job 343 have had. Halo 4 felt like a CODification, sprinting, weapon layouts etc. I liked the game in single and multi but something felt a little "off" in the way it was set up and played. Halo 5 added all of these incredible movement options like the thruster and the ground pound that made a really compelling multiplayer game but one that moved so much faster than the Halo of old. 343 haven't just copy and pasted Halo 1's combat loop and then gotten everything else wrong like some in here have suggested. They've made a game that feels fresh and new and awesome but that still feels like Halo underneath it all. Which is an absolutely incredible achievement in and of itself.
  18. What should I be doing with Power Units and Gearboxes in the career mode. There's nothing that really explains how wearing them out works or when I should change them?
  19. Gorogoa is fantastic on a phone screen, not 100% how it will work on controller but the game itself is a lovely thing.
  21. Jesus Christ some of the POTC Tall Tales in this are terrible. It's your classic Sea of Thieves sail around, find something really cool in an awesome location, then Rare don't know what to do with you so you fight respawning goons for an hour. So much of the game is so so good but the sword/gun combat absolutely isn't one of those things so to base such a large part of the fun around it is baffling.
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