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  1. Thanks for pointing that out, dumpster; Amazon's UX design once again trying to give its customer a bum deal Sadly, the promo is over but if I do another I'll know to call it out. I think we're friendly enough around here that a bit of ad-hoc shilling isn't met with tar and feathers, so is a specific thread needed? Totally on-board with the sentiment, though, I now have a review! (if, indeed, "David" is a rllmuker, of course) Thanks everyone who took the time to take a look!
  2. Yeah, I can change them fairly easily. Would appreciate if you could point them out by PM!
  3. That's brill, thanks for taking the time, so glad you enjoyed it!
  4. Thanks! And yes (but with a sprinkle of "sort of" and a fairly heavy dose of "well, not really") "Songs for White Whales" was a commission from our very own Tofu (now in self-imposed exile after being caught taking credit for someone else's work, I believe?) "Black Orchard" is a stock image. "Crawling Skin" is a manipulated photo. I did, however, turn all of them into workable paperback fronts, spines and rears, though, which was an absolute trial by fire for my (previously non-existent) GIMP skills and something that I would not recommend to anyone looking for a good time!
  5. So, lovely people, my collection of short stories "The Black Orchard & Other Stories" is free this weekend if anyone fancies taking a very low risk punt on my scribbling? (a paperback is also available if you're feeling lucky/munificent, as well as two collections of poetry, of which "Crawling Skin" is probably the better one) I've managed to shift a handful (paid) via an Amazon add campaign, but have struggled to get reviews coming in. If you were to pick up a FREE #GIVEAWAY L@@K copy of my book perhaps some of you might be so grand as to leave a bit of feedback for the shopping public, it would be massively appreciated! You might even enjoy it as well, obvs, because I don't think it's too shabby Ta! Amazon Here Goodreads There
  6. This is accurate. Doom 64 is mental; so many people just assume it's some janky port. It's as if there was a Scorsese-directed masterpiece version of Godfather III that was only ever released on VHS but most people never saw it cause it had a similar cover to the shit version we're all familiar with.
  7. The original Mortal Kombat. I don't know if it's just me but (despite not being a brilliant game) it oozes this weird, sinister and almost haunted kind of atmosphere that I can't quite put my finger on. And how has no one mentioned Majora's Mask? From the intro with Skull Kid onwards it just just builds and builds, the closer that leering moon gets...
  8. Someone already said it but definitely Sex and The City 2. It's an objectively terrible piece of cinema, of course, but its also spritiually hateful in a way that I'm not sure I can describe. There's something both malevolent and, at once, oblivious about it. It's the film version of a weird kid whose nose always runs taking a cat out into the woods and dousing it in lighter fluid; proud, ignorant, selfish and cruel. I dislike it so intensely it actually makes my skin crawl.
  9. Look at us, rllmuk's scribes, all in one thread (except that sell-out guy who's "for real" published) How Bohemian! Dan - That's brilliant. I will now buy your book. DON'T buy another copy of mine with the intention we just do that in turn until we're both famous. I've hashed out that idea and came to the conclusion, of my own accord, that it's not gonna work! Ramone - Mate, I'm not trying to upset anyones sensibilities. The harsh language is vital to the tone. Please try to understand and give it another go? Remember to give it a five star raping as well!
  10. Right, so we just need to get Amazon in on it then...
  11. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Songs-Whales-Nuclear-Winter-ebook/dp/B00DVNVG2Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373741430&sr=8-1&keywords=songs+for+white+whales+and+nuclear+winter You buy mine. I'll buy (one of) yours. According to my calculations if we do this millions upon millions of times, we will both have exactly the same amount of money as when we started BUT we will be, like, the top two selling books on Kindle. Which is probably pretty good publicity. Hang on a minute, would this actually fucking work?
  12. So, I've made an ebook. It's not really funny like that Jamie fella that everyone loves, even though jumping into his stuff is like trying to jump straight into the old Israel/Palestine thing and knowing who's side it's "OK" to be on. It's poetry. Really bitter and arch poetry. I think it has a joke in there somewhere. I forget. Buy it and see? It has got fucking pagebreaks and a proper cover and has been proofread though. The lovely cover is done by Rllmuk's very own Tofu an' all! It is honestly 100% better than 90% of amateur poetry, nearly all of which would appear to be complete shit. People like it. Americans, women and religious maniacs, largely. Check it out, tweet it and share it and like it and 5 star it and stuff. That'd be really, really nice. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Songs-Whales-Nuclear-Winter-ebook/dp/B00DVNVG2Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373741430&sr=8-1&keywords=songs+for+white+whales+and+nuclear+winter
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