Caleb Newcastle

Come on, how many kids' TV presenters got to be miserable, sarcastic gits?

Hint: It's the one on the left...

I remember the game.

How can you make a game about trading rouge? Was it like a cosmetics based Wall Street Kid or something?

'Knightmare' (am I the only person who had a huge crush on Tregar?)

Actually I'll hazard a guess and say yes.

Recently found a Defenders of the Earth DVD for £3 in a local record shop.

Fuck me is it absolute rubbish. The plots follow no logic or coherent narrative, the animation's awful and Ming is an absolute plank of a villain.

At least the theme tune still holds up...

I still think Darth Cuddles is the best character name ever. Someone employ Becca for all their game character names.

[Yorick Brown's Granddad] Ain't nothing worse than ladies in numbers. [/Yorick Brown's Granddad]

How about Alucard? It's like Dracula spelt... get this... backwards!

[running in slow motion with hand extended] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [/running in slow motion with hand extended]

R-Type Delta is the r0xx0ring best (of the 3D R-Types that is)!

You are allowed to like both, you know. It's not a crime.

Another nomination for Psyvariar Complete and I'd also heartily recommend R-Type Final.

Was Gradius III & IV for the PS2 any good? And did it geta PAL release? I can't find a copy anywhere...

In the film. I've read he's very funny in it.

Hmm...

Odd. I'd have never pegged HHH as funny. Oh wait, I guess he was back when he was in Degeneration-X. I suppose I should give him the benefit of the doubt even though he's run the WWE into the ground in recent years through his backstage shenanigans. I used to like wrestling and that big nosed tool made it unwatchable.

As a rule though: wrestlers have no place in movies. Except possibly The Rock and, at a push, Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live! Still haven't forgiven him for 'Hell comes to Frog Town' though.

Triple H is good apparently.

In what context: wrestling or acting?

And this movie will kick ass because it has HHH!!!!in it!

Oh.

Oh fuck no.

Is he going to no sell Wesley Snipes too?

Well we wouldn't be buying you out with a crystal, that's for fucking sure...

EVER

After the success of Lizzie Bardsley lat year, it looks like Wife Swap is basically turning into "Class War! What happens if we swap wives between a respectable middle class family, and a family of loudmouth commoners?".

War? War's fucking underestimating the violent potential of these two families.

"You never know what's gonna happen next..."

Sweet Jesus.

Just referred to as Quentin Beck, haven't beat it at the minute. Real pain in the ass.

You do know who he is yes? It sounds like a kick ass Spidey fan thing. What do you have to do? I bet it's tailing him isn't it?

but there is one mission which is a real annoyance involving someone called Quentin Beck[anyone who has played it knows what I mean ]

Are you trying to stop spoilers or is he just referred to as Quentin Beck?

All of the HOTD enemies had ridiculous names like Chester or Doris.

Are you sure?

According to the Saturn instructions they're called things like Rubin, Evitan and Samson.

And.. er... Simon.

Geese Howard and Terry Bogard. Both are immensely cool. Both have immensely stupid names.

An' where's yer wanky fuckin' accent gone, yeh bollicks!!

Also I checked... cos it's like 7 or 8 pages before it... and it's here in front of me...

Why're yeh afraid of crosses? Because some bollicks got nailed to one two thousand years ago?

NO! I'M IN CHARGE!

Finally, I already bagsied Cass and I will rip the fucking throat out of any bastard that tries to claim otherwise. Capicé, yeh silly bollocks?

It's pronounced bollicks.

And I know I'm late to the party but can I be DeBlanc the adephi?

Trouble with the last Spiderman was too much thwipping not enough quipping.

I'm having a hard time remembering any witty Spidey put downs from the first movie at all...

On a tangent: did anybody ever read the Deadpool ongoing series back when Joe Kelly wrote it?

Issue 11 was sheer genius...

He's a Ben Reilly, if you will

Aaaargh. Can open. Clones Everywhere...

I refer you to the last Hard Fuckng Truth.

Is that the one in your pants?

I really hope you're copying and pasting "hard fucking truth."

And anyway... "hard fucking truth"? Hardly Hunter S.Thomson is it?

The use of -gate as a suffix on a scandal is only acceptable if the scandal involves taped evidence of some variety.

And the hard fucking truth is you obviously enjoy drawing attention to yourself otherwise you'd have posted this in a relevant topic.

Huge fucking winky smiley, ya miserable prick.

Well, could any Yu Gi Oh fans please explain what the fuck the show's about? Or the card game rules? Or anything?

As far as I can tell it's just a heavily extended sequence of Deus ex machina with people yelling crazy stuff like "But ah... you forgot I had placed my Bag of Lemmings in the defensive position which when combined with my Hotdog Water Demon Horn card increases it's power exponentially thus defeating your Beige Volvo Driven by a Monkey trap card..."

Primer anyone?

Final Fight's was cool too, woah! Mad Gears!

The Mega CD version was interesting to say the least... the voices put quite an interesting spin on the Cody and Guy scene...

Well if we try anything we'll be up against some pretty stiff competition....