Caleb Newcastle

Maaaaaaan. Metroplex = clunky piece of plastic that transformed into a "city" if a city looked like the millenium falcon after it had crashed into a car park, the same mess on rollerskates and "the biggest transformer ever" which was only six inches taller than Starscream. The start of the Transformers rot (Headmasters, powermasters, fucking Armada) Fortress Maximus = Like Metroplex. Just bigger Soundwave = A tape recorder. Ahahahahahhahaha. Grimlock = Robot fucking dinosaur. With a sword! What are you people thinking?!?

Well. He is "the most macho of all autobots..." Anyway. Nuff said.

Journalistic integrity be damned! I'd give it an eight for that... Shit. I'd give it a eight for just a G1 Optimus Prime. With the wee matrix and energon axe, mind...

Sometimes though bosses are just a little too hard... Gill. He's a fucking dick.

Hang on. I wasted him first go by just going ape-shit with the handguns and flicking on Ifrit for kick-ass tracer fire when the devil trigger charged. Apart from that it was just a case of jumping at the right time? Now Phantom, Phantom absolutely bitch-slapped me the first eight or nine times I fought him (flat mate enters living room "What the fuck is that?" "Some kind of giant lava spider scorpion thing..." "I can see that. What's it doing?" "Kicking my ass." "I can see that too."). And Nightmare... Grrr... I kept playing though because it was always my fault that I lost... Anyway a good boss fight is an exhilirating challenge and a memorable experience. Seven force on Gunstar Heroes is just a case of pattern memorising but is no less fun for it...

Montreal 31 - Edmonton 3 But that was on Blades of Steel. On the NES.

I'm sure it'll be at least as good as the last one. PSW may be shit but at least they put full selectable direct-feed trailers on their DVDs as opposed to dancing fat blokes and sub-cybernet blathering over clips.

Yes. The prospect of XNA scares me in a "back of the neck hairs on end way." Microsoft says "Ug. Hardware failed we monopolise game development instead. Just like with system software/media player/browsers etc. etc." J Allard wouldn't know "more creative games" if one raped his gran.

What bothered me was that it was basically the plot of Twiins, which meant that Snake, as the recessive twin, should have been played by Danny De Vito...

Yes but what's it all about? The future of electronic entertainment is a spectrum retrospective?

It's about you getting a column? You're pissed off more people didn't twig what it was? Dammit, Clive we demand answers!

Well maybe but... Corner Rainbow. Now I'm sure of it... Though that just raises more questions than it answers.

So anyway... We all figured out the "next issue" is something to do with sinclair, right? (Delorean me all you want, you think I'm reading a whole "bickering about Edge" thread you've got another thing coming)

Does Street Fighting count as a sport? Or wrestling? Or racing? If not; no. I haven't actually owned a sports game since Blades of Steel on the NES and every one I've played since then hasn't gripped my attention. Might have something to do with hating sport since PE at school...

I thought they fed Burt Ward some special pills to make his genitals smaller because censors were worried about his crotch bulge corrupting youngsters. If it's on the internet it must be true

David Hasslehoff went on record in the, er, Metro, stating that he unequivocally did NOT want the Knight Rider movie to be a piss take like Starsky and Hutch. Humourless bastard. I sat through an entire series of Team Knight Rider. I demand a piss-take.

On the DS?

It's probably the first time the new Edge team played it. You know; post walkout.

Returns was impressive in an aesthetic way (except for the fact there were like seven sets at most) but my main problem was it could have been a great Catwoman film, or a great Penguin film or even a great Max Shreck film but because it had all three of them chewing scenery at once it ended up overlong and bloated.

Aye. Too many villains, personal or otherwise, and we'll get another Batman Returns.

Hmm. I wonder what "Spong" means...

Ahem. If you want an in depth robot "simulation" then obviously Armored Core is the way to go. If you want to be Optimus fucking Prime and stomp around blowing shit up then you want a Transformers game. Jesus. One is a robot game. The other is a Transformers game. Featuring the Transformers. The things you used to pretend to be in the school playground and make the noises and everything. Remember? Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Show it some damn respect.

Panzer Dragoon Schwarzwäldekirschtorte

"What are you playing?" "Tomb Raider 3." "She's drowning, is that the point of the game?" "Depends what kind of mood you're in..."

Imagine a train sim with a metroid prime environment