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the sony conference as i saw it


ThePixelbarks
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-Come on, yeah, everyone loves Jean Paul, lets make them wait another 50 mins, I wanna hear some Jean Paul… BLAZIN’ BLAZIN’ BLAZIN’ RIDGE RAAAAAAACER!

We have sold shit loads, now we don’t like to blow our own trumpet, but literally, we have sold shit loads, and each one of them has a copy of ridge racer. Yeah, RIDGE RAAACER!

You may have been wondering why we waited so long to do a handheld, well it’s simple, we realised we hadn’t stolen the idea yet from another company.

Now lets have a look at all the hip kids who love the play station.

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Harrison… Let the wookie win! Let the fucking wookie win!

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Fucking ducks, sony love fucking ducks, ducks and RIDGE RAAACER!

Now, lets talk about what Sony are famous for… FIRST PARTY GAMES.

Look, it’s GT, LOOK… IT’S GT, GT:FO. Exactly the same game you played a million times over, but this time, it’s the same…

This is GT1, remember this,

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this… this used to be real!

Look, the getaway, everyone loves the getaway.

When you buy a game for the PS3 in a shop, you will be buying a blank disk, this is where the good bit comes, you keep buying new things. You like jax but hate Daxter? Just buy jax. You want to play a level, buy a level.

Lets look at FFXIII’s example:

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look what I have on my PSP here… RIDGE RAAAACER!! RIDGE RAAAACER!! RIDGE RAAAACER!! RIDGE RAAAACER!!

RIDGE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACER!!

This used to be real! Remember loading screen, RIDGE RAAAACER!! This used to be real.

Somethings wrong here… where’s the rear view mirror? You think we are lazy… no, never lazy… this is the future of gaming. This is how we will all play games in the future!

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See, I am play RIDGE RAAAACER at home by myself, I bought more content for the game online you see. I bought the head pole with my new sony credit card. Yeah BLAZIN

Look at tiger woods, he’s smiling, you know why? It’s because he bought some extra music for RIDGE RAAACER online. And because he is smiling and talking like a dork, so are you.

Metal gear solid 4 for you guys then…

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Wanna see the new controller?

It’s a bit new I warn you

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Yeah, Tiger woods and ridge racer… this is going to be a good year!

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

BLAZIN’

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i laughed, i think he is the first victim of e3 head explosion, to much content to quickly... well at least from Ninty and MS.

[edit]

cheers btw, i was going to download and watch the sony conference, but you summed it up for us in a nutshell.

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I prefer the silent hill review aswell, this was just something to pass the time while i waited for nintendo... which i wont be reviewing... as it was a stroke of pure genius!

I'd do something about microsoft, but there conference had FUCK ALL IN IT!

just some cunt in an even shinier green suit telling us he wont be here for another year!

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