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Garth Marenghi's Darkplace Is Out Now

Roboplegic Wrongcock

By Roboplegic Wrongcock
in Film, TV & Radio

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Basement St. Thomas

Basement St. Thomas

Posted
Posted

Mine also arrived today :( I only watched a couple when it was originally aired, so it's nice to get a chance to watch them all properly. It's brilliant though, are there are so many subtle things going on that are just hilarious. Like in the first episode when Madeleine walks up to the reception area and goes to put her hands on her hips, but she stops until the receptionist finishes his line :(

Genius.

I can't wait until Scotch Mist, it was the only other episode that I managed to watch a few years back (and I only really caught the last few minutes).

"Blood, blood, blood... and some bits of sick"

That's from episode one. The line you're looking for is "and piss and shit".

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  • 2 years later...
Smitty

Smitty

Posted
Posted

Finally got the DVD a few days ago.

Fuck me, it's great.

HOSPITAL ROOF. EVENING

Liz

(Walking up to Dag) Hey.

Dagless

Hey.

Sanchez

(Walking up to Dag) Hey.

Dagless

Hey. It's my fault. I should never have let myself get this close again. How's your head?

Liz

It'll live. I've lost some vision in the left eye though and I get headaches.

Dagless

That's concussion, you've just gotta sweat it out. Help yourself to Panadol from my locker.

Liz

Thanks.

Dagless

Replace them when you get a chance there's no rush.

Liz

Thanks Rick (She leaves, without turning)

Sanchez

She's a good girl Dag, you're too hard on her

Dagless

I know. I just don't find her physically attractive. Memories. They have a habit of stickin' to you like...

Sanchez

Like a, pube on a pipe?

Dagless

Yeah. Something like that. C'mon, let's get out of here. I'll buy you a drink down the drip.

Sanchez

Can I take a raincheck on that? My guts are playing up.

Dagless

Sure. Here's a pound if you change your mind.

Sanchez

Thanks. Are you sure you're gonna be alright?

Dagless

(Sighs) Can I take a raincheck on that?

Sanchez

You bet. (They do their trademark handshake, and Sanchez walks out of shot)

Sanchez

Well good riddance to him. So that's done and dusted then.

Reed

Negative Sanch. It's neither done, nor dusted. (In hushed voice) Wanton has reason to believe that the giant eye might have fathered a child. (Normally) Dag? Any thoughts?

Dagless

I, don't know anything about it. Besides, I think there are more important matters at present.

Reed

Could you give me an example?

Dagless

Like hospital bloody hygiene. I went into the gents and there was a big pube on the pipe so I had to use the one in E Wing.

Sanchez

It's true I went there 2 month back and there was a piece of shit stuck to the seat.

Dagless

Well someone's gonna have to pick that pube off the pipe and it ain't gonna be me.

Liz

Come on surely we can discuss something more sanitary.

Dagless

As if your fanny never graced a pan!

Sanchez

What's crawled up your crack?

Dagless

She has! She's so up herself. (Liz is crying, there is mascara running down here face)

Sanchez

You shut your mouth or so help me God I'll punch your lights out. Dunno what the hell's got into him. C'mon Liz, I'll help you apply some more make-up. (They both leave)

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Smitty

Smitty

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Posted
Sanchez

Have you ever been to Scotland Dag?

Dagless

(Pauses… and in a whisper) Once.

Sanchez

What was is like?

Dagless

I remember it much as one recalls a dream… or a nightmare. I was on a budget flight to Norway, when a storm hit and forced us to ditch in Glasgow Prestwick. I was stranded, and it’s so hilly up there you can’t get any signal on your car phone. It looked bad – it looked like I was gonna have to spend the night in Glasgow.

Sanchez

Jesus Christ!

So many small touches that just brilliant. Ah man, to think I didn't *get* this way back when.

There's this bit in skipper the eye child where they're chasing Dag, as he runs off with skipper, and Sanchez jumps around the corner in a kung-fu pose and then confidently strides foward - my jaw nearly fell off with laughing.

The performances are just pitch-perfect, there are lots of instances of fairly straight stuff being delivered in such a way as to make them hilarious.

The Temp

Did you attack the chef? (The interrogated shakes their head) Thanks for your time. (He does this down the line)

Sanchez

I'll say one thing for the guy - he's very thorough.

Dagless

I don't like it. Don't you find it funny that all this started to happen when the Temp arrived?

Sanchez

What do you reckon? Android?

Dagless

It'd make sense. I've not seen him eat or drink anything since he arrived here this morning, and it's 1 P.M. now, so.

Sanchez

Sounds right, what should we do?

Dagless

Just keep 'em peeled - we might need to kill him.

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Monkeyboy

Monkeyboy

Posted
Posted

I just love the opening lines from the theme tune...

"I'm Garth Marenghi! Author, dreamweaver, visionary. Plus actor."

Also...

Dag: "I'm finding food a real bore at the moment."

Sanch: "What I do sometimes, is get a tin of soup..."

Dag: "Yeah."

Sanch: "...heat it up, poach an egg in it, and serve that with a pork pie and sausage roll."

Dag: "I'll get a Wimpy."

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  • 6 years later...
Chosty

Chosty

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Posted

I got into this just a few weeks ago via Channel 4's On Demand - simply amazing. Then the ad breaks started to annoy me on my third run through so I bought the DVD yesterday. Was looking forward to the in-character commentaries this evening but my TV's on the blink.

Maggots. Maggots.

Maggots.

1
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glb

glb

Posted
Posted

The commentaries are ace, and include a massively inappropriate joke from Todd Rivers that sets off the rest of the cast in guilty laughter. Also love his, 'Jesus Christ, what the hell is he?' when Stephen Merchant lumbers into a scene.

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  • 7 months later...
  • 6 years later...
Sabreman

Sabreman

Posted
Posted

I might be mixing things up here, but I think it was Holness... whatever happened to that 70s/80s style hardboiled detective show that was in development? I remember a teaser trailer and a date a few years ago. I'm sure the show was named after the character. Can't dig anything up myself, though I know it's quite vague.

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K

K

Posted
Posted
Just now, Sabreman said:

I might be mixing things up here, but I think it was Holness... whatever happened to that 70s/80s style hardboiled detective show that was in development? I remember a teaser trailer and a date a few years ago. I'm sure the show was named after the character. Can't dig anything up myself, though I know it's quite vague.


It was called ‘A Gun for George’. I think Warp Films funded the short he made, but he couldn’t get finance for a feature. It was a shame, because the short was great and seemed to be much less overtly comedic than Darkplace. It also seemed REALLY bleak, which might explain the reluctance for people to stump up the cash to make it. 

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