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Dreadful Film Nights


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I'm sure there's already a thread for this, but I couldn't find one on my five-second look, and it's inhuman to expect me to do more than that.

So...

You get a bunch of friends over, and watch three awful films of the "so bad they're good" variety.

Choices? I'm thinking:

McBain

Trailer Linky!

Salute of the Jugger / The Blood Of Heroes

Trailer Linky!

Sakura Killers

Trailer Linky!

Given enough beer, I think these could be a very enjoyable evening's viewing.

Edit: Linkys are now to the best trailer site in the world!

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I had a rare girl friend less evening in the other night and decided to watch some trashy films, managed to get through, Riot on 42nd street, Street trash and Dark Angel.

Riot on 42nd street was pretty bad but had some true LOL so bad it's funny moments. Street trash was fucking ace. :(

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Hercules In New York starring Arnie - get either the dubbed or dubbed versions for plenty of laughs.

How To Make A Monster - startlingly bad film involving three (just three!) people making a videogame with terrible graphics.

...and of course Turkish Star Wars - featuring the most incredible first five minutes of any movie ever made.

Enjoy!

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Had a great one of these nights a while ago:

Gang Related - Tupac and Denis Quaid, entertaining enough but didn't get things off to a rousing start.

Executive Decision - It has Steven Segal and Poirot in it, what more do you want?

Desperate Measures - the ultimate Dreadful Film Night film, with alcohol this is unmissable.

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I must own this Turkish masterpiece!

There are many more Turkish masterpieces to enjoy including Turkish Exorcist, Turkish Wizard of Oz, Turkish Spider-man and Turkish Star Trek. All of them are incredible.

Turkish Star Wars is brilliant because it seems like there's no such thing as copyright - so they blatantly steal footage from Star Wars as well as its soundtrack and, er, the soundtrack to Indy too. There's also an incredible sequence where the main hero trains with rocks. Rocks strapped to his legs! Beating up rocks! Kicking rocks which then explode for no reason!

Also the Darth Vader replacement looks a lot like Brian Blessed in a golden paper mask.

Hopefully I've sold you.

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http://imdb.com/name/nm0387301/

Anything by this man. Godfrey Ho. Absolute legend. I particularly recommend his 1985 classic, Ninja Terminator. Here's the bad guy from the film:

nt_tiger.jpg

Ninja Thunderbolt is on my must see list, as it apparently involves rollerskating ninjas. IMDB user comment: "Extremely bad".

I dunno which film has the best name, though. Thunder Ninja Kids: Wonderful Mission? Full Metal Ninja? Ninja Operation: License to Terminate? Zombie vs Ninja? Robo-Kickboxer - Power of Justice?

How can one possibly choose? The only way is to watch them all.

From IMDB:

"He is considered a master of B-movie Hong Kong actioners. However, a number of his movies are Z-grade movies made with a "cut-and-paste" technique. He would shoot footage for one movie, often using Caucasian actors for exportation, then edit the scenes into several other movies, mixing them with footage from old, unfinished or unreleased Asian movies (using Thai as well as Chinese or Filipino footage), then trying to make the story somewhat coherent through dubbing and voice-overs. He would then have four or five movies (of rock-bottom quality, of course) while having spent the budget of one."

What that basically means is THE MOST MIND BLOWINGLY AMAZING THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

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Turkish Star Wars is brilliant because it seems like there's no such thing as copyright - so they blatantly steal footage from Star Wars as well as its soundtrack and, er, the soundtrack to Indy too. There's also an incredible sequence where the main hero trains with rocks. Rocks strapped to his legs! Beating up rocks! Kicking rocks which then explode for no reason!

Also the Darth Vader replacement looks a lot like Brian Blessed in a golden paper mask.

Hopefully I've sold you.

It gets better and better!

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I bow before the master - time to scour the web for a DVD collection!

If you find one, let me know! Some of his films can be found easily in shops - I've seen them in HMV, Virgin, Gamestation and they're pretty much guaranteed at a market. But only a fraction of them seem to be available :)

Simmy: Ninja Terminator is one of the easiest to find. There's copies pretty much anywhere that sells DVDs. Or at least, there was last time I was in the UK (May).

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i'll go with Casshern as well - fucking woeful!

and i doubt it will make any more sense if you're mashed off your noggin.

i'll add Raising Cain - me and my flatmate got wasted one night, and this was on - we spent the next 2 hours making up our own dialogue, complete with voices and accents - so much better than the 'proper' version.

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I was flicking through the tv stations the other night, when I happened upon the Zone Horror channel, and this was on Slumber Party Massacre II

Some dude invades a the dreams of a woman, and he is a killer. He also plays the guitar.

The first three are all really good.

My picks for a good night would be:

The Killer Shrews - A low budget black and white monster film about people hauled up on an island being attacked by killer shrews. The budget clearly didn't stretch to much as the shrews are just dogs dressed up in big furry coats and if anybody is ever attacked it is normally behind a bush. The way they escape from house to the boat is also note worthy.

Penetration Angst - The name says it all. Essentially its about a woman who has a vagina with a mind of its own that needs to feed on men (there is also a subplot with a guy who seperates siamese twins with an electric bread knife and a bank robbery on the Isle of White). Its all so ubsurd, the acting so terrible and the budget non existent that it is hugely entertaining because of its crapness.

Mainiac Nurses - Its pretty crap actually (unless you get off on girls in lingerie with big guns) but its on the list because the voice over is fantastic.

Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell - You know you are always on safe ground when the words sorority or/and creature are in the title.

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Try and hunt down The Russian Ninja. It's a film i saw in Finland and it's a Swedish film with Swedish actors, who all speak in english.

It's ... Amazing.

Unfortunately, here's the only clip i can find, and it's lo-res ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZzmExrjuO0

I presume it was this

:)

And another one from Turkish Star Wars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbYczbBlatA ;) x10 It still looks better than Episodes 1-3 mind.

I need this film.

Ohhh no, you need the original, blue-tinted, originally scored version to truly enjoy it.

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