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Under Siege 2, BBC1 now


CrispinG
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One of the greatest, worst movies ever made. Bursting at the seams with quotable one-liners. For instance, Seagal on being shot in the shoulder:

You think that's shot? That's not shot.

Featuring the most unthreatening and pathetic villain seen since Fisher Stevens in Hackers:

Criminal_Intent_Eric_Bogosian_300wide.jpg

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I like how calm and cheeky Segal is when he's clinging for dear life on a vertical rock face, and a baddie abseils down with a machine gun aimed at him.

*turns head*..."Ohh, hellllo..."

It's also the one, and I do mean one time he's not monotone.

and:

"Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups"

I prefer it to the first, because I've seen the first numerous times and can still only remember about 3 things that happen, as I tend to forget the huge chunk that makes up the rest of it.

It also has a beautiful psychotic baddie woman who is almost a fringe character; in the background and never speaks, but is willing to do whatever the evil boss orders, which every good action film needs.

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"Nobody beats me in the kitchen."

Most movies of this ilk have a very eb and flow dynamic when it comes to the big fight at the end. Good guy beats up baddie, baddie comes back and seems to be winning but good guy pulls through in the end. Not in Seagal films. We've seen this tough albino dude eating pepper spray and being just generally hard as nails all movie long. You think he could be a decent opponent for Ryback but then they fight and Seagal just beats the living shit out of the dude for a few minutes. Class.

Not as good as this one though:

That's for Bobby.

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I like how calm and cheeky Segal is when he's clinging for dear life on a vertical rock face, and a baddie abseils down with a machine gun aimed at him.

*turns head*..."Ohh, hellllo..."

It's also the one, and I do mean one time he's not monotone.

Oh, this, a million times this.

Caught this on Friday night after the pub, just before this section. I was stupidly excited and made the missus watch it. We spent at least five minutes just rewinding and watching 'hellooo...', creased up with tears running down our faces. Absolutely brilliant.

I wonder if it's on YouTube...?

EDIT: No, but LOL

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