Fave movie quote/dialogue?

[Nespresso]

I'd love to help but I don't understand what you said.

The words are randomly mixed together inside my head. It's a puzzle inside my head and you have to solve it inside the internet.

[Gorf King]

Pssh. Youse fuckin' fancy-pants, all of ya.

Eddie Dane: How'd you get the fat lip?

Tom Reagan: Old war wound. Acts up around morons.

Verna: What you doing?

Tom Reagan: Walking...

Verna: Don't let on any more than you have to.

Tom Reagan: ...in the rain.

Tom Reagan: Rug Daniels is dead.

Verna: Gee, that's tough.

Tom Reagan: Don't get hysterical.

Verna: Shouldn't you be doing your job?

Tom Reagan: Intimidating helpless women is my job.

Verna: Then go find one, and intimidate her.

And so on (and they're arguably not even the best ones). I mean, give the credit, if you like, to Dashiell Hammett instead of the Coens. But when it comes to film scripts, there's nothing more consistently sharp, clever or quotable. Guys, guys, it's ok: there never will be.

[Judgement]

0.48

[Couch Corpse]

Who ever told you that you could work with men?

Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy.

All in all not a bad guy, if looks brain and personality don't count.

Why not shoot a president.

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.

You know, Jill, you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda...

[SM47]

'You're alright, Batman. You're alright.'

[Dame Orbette]

King Arthur: Old woman.

Dennis: Man.

King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

Dennis: I'm 37.

King Arthur: What?

Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.

King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".

Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".

King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.

Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...

Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

King Arthur: Well I am king.

Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Dennis

[Plissken]

Chun-Li: It was twenty years ago. You hadn't promoted yourself to general yet. You were just a petty drug lord. You and your gang of murderers gathered your small ounce of courage to raid across the border for food, weapons, slave labor...my father was the village magistrate. A simple man with a simple code: justice. He gathered the few people that he could to stand against you. You and your bullies were driven back by farmers with pitchforks! My father saved his village at the cost of his own life. You had him shot as you ran away! A hero...at a thousand paces.

M. Bison: I'm sorry...I don't remember any of it.

Chun-Li: You don't remember?!

M. Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me...it was Tuesday.

[Mr Cochese]

Grosse Point Blank

Debi: You're a psychopath.

Marty: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right.

[Fusty Gusset]

Jonathan Mardukas: How come you have not seen your ex-wife and daughter in nine years?

Jack Walsh: Just to get you off my back, she married a police lieutenant and I'm not very popular with the Chicago police.

Jonathan Mardukas: Why aren't you popular with the Chicago police?

Jack Walsh: What do we, know each other?

The delivery is master-class.

[Davros sock drawer]

I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf

[superquake]

"I ain't got time to bleed."

Predator. In fact, most of what Jesse Ventura says in that movie is amazing.

"Bottle of champagne. Fast."

Antonio Banderas in Four Rooms

[Eighthours]

This is from Homeland and made me proper lol as it's just so unexpected. I'll spoiler it for those who haven't seen the series yet:

Go ahead! Tell them! I suck cock, and I love it! Yummy yummy yummy!

That was brilliant.

[The-Plethora]

The opening scenes to lock stock which I shall attempt to type from memory...

Right, lets sort the buyers from the spiers, the needy from the greedy, those who trust me from the ones who don't.

Cause if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping you're up here shoflifting.

See that? never seen daylight moonlight, isralight, fanny by the gaslight.

One price £1.50!

Did you say £1.50?

What are you deaf?

Thats a bargain i'll take one.

Come on left leg, right leg, your body will follow thats it! they're waking up! You want one as well do you darling? Alright show me a bit of life then, no point standing there like one o'clock half struck!

Bacon! Cozzers!

Missed a bit about them changing the bloody locks and undertakers but thats most of it

[Yobo Ahoy]

I offered you a chance to be a cop, and YOU BLEW IT!

[

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Okay hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin'.

[Couch Corpse]

Beer is for breakfast.

[Tetchy]

Where's my farm?! Here's my muthafucking farm, I'M A LEAD FARMER!!

Welcome to the party, pal!!

You cheated!

Hello?! Pirate.

One thing living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.

[hellsbells]

Mellow out man. We can't talk business with you waving guns in people's faces... Your daughter is safe, Colonel. Now whether she stays that way is up to you. My people got some business with you. And if you want your kid back, then you gotta co-operate, right?

WRONG!

[SWOS]

All of Brief Encounter.

But I love this bit

Laura: What's she like, your wife?

Alec: Madeleine? Small, dark, rather delicate.

Laura: How funny! I supposed she would have been fair.

Alec: Your husband. What's he like?

Laura: Medium height. Brown hair. Kindly, unemotional, and not delicate at all.

Alec: You said that proudly.

Laura: Did I?

The Life Aquatic

Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?

Steve Zissou: Revenge

Big Trouble in Little China.

Jack Burton: "Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

[joffocakes]

From As Good As It Gets, mostly great because of the context:

"You're going to die soon with that diet. You know that, right?"

"Oh, we're all going to die soon. I will, you will, and it sure sounds like your son will."

It's a film full of amazing dialogue though (copy and paste job here):

Melvin Udall: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.

Carol Connelly: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.

Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.

Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.

Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.

Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.

Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

[Dame Orbette]

Oh In The Loop, I love you so.

Am I calm? I'm fucking ZEN!

Simon Foster: That's not supposed to be out there...

Malcolm Tucker: Well, it is out there, it's out there now, lurking like a big hairy rapist at a coach station. You know, if I could, I'd punch you into paralysis!

Jamie MacDonald: Well, if it isn't Humpty Numpty.

Simon Foster: What is this? Surround bollocking?

Jamie MacDonald: Hey, with due respect, I hadn't finished. If it isn't Humpty Numpty sitting on top of a collapsing wall like some clueless egg cunt. Now, I'm finished.

Simon Foster: Hi, Jamie, this is Toby.

Toby Wright: Oh, um... Toby Rice, I'm Simon's aide.

Jamie MacDonald: Hi, Toby, Toby. Very pleased to meet you. Please sit down. Now, right, that's enough of all the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries.

Toby Wright: What's Oxbridge about saying hello?

Jamie MacDonald: Shut it, Love Actually! Do you want me to hole punch your face?

Malcolm Tucker: Right, I'm off to deal with the fate of the planet. Be gentle with them.

Jamie MacDonald: Oh, you know me, Malc. Kid gloves... but made from real kids. Right, Butch and Gaydance, this wall story is playing badly. There's a cartoon of you in here as a walrus.

Simon Foster: A walrus? I'm not fat, I don't even have a moustache. Fuck, they've given me tusks.

Jamie MacDonald: Wal-rus. You get it? Wal-rus, wal-rus.

Toby Wright: We called some builders. They didn't turn up when they said they would.

Jamie MacDonald: What did you expect? They're builders! Have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? No, no, because they never fucking turn up in the nick of time. Bat-builder? Spider-builder? Huh? That's why you never see a superhero with a hod!

Oh god, just, fucking, the whole film.

[Plissken]

Tucker's Law: If some cunt can fuck something up that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up because that cunt's a cunt. I've got that embroidered on a tea towel at home.

Although, strictly speaking, outtake from the TV show.

[Marlowe]

"I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch my fucking television set!"

[multi]

Its a long time since I've seen Midnight Run, so I might not have it exactly right but Robert De Niro says it to Charles Grodin (Brolin? can't remember!)when he's starting to get on his nerves a bit.

RDN - "I've got two words to say to you..."

CG - "...."

RDN - "Shut The Fuck Up"

I try to use it every day.

[Yobo Ahoy]

Oh In The Loop, I love you so.

Oh god, just, fucking, the whole film.

'Difficult difficult lemon difficult' is a particular favourite of mine too. I need to see that film again ASAP.

[Reidles]

"Take your shoes off"

"Is this a mosque? "

(Or words to that effect...).

[Joyrex-J9]

"I often wonder where Norman is now. Probably wintering with his mother in Guilford, a cat and rain, vim under the sink, and both bars on. But old now, there is no true beauty without decay."

[Meatball]

I love the whole film and there's other great quotes you could pick, but this just starts it off so well

And Frank?

Frank sent us.

Did you bring a horse for me?

Well... looks like we're...

...looks like we're shy one horse.

You brought two too many.

There was a girl in Paris. She was part of the program. She used to handle logistics. Alexanderstrasse, 30 minutes, under the World Clock. Send her alone. Give her your phone.

What if I can't find her?

It's easy. She's standing right next to you.

8)

[Chosty]

From Running Scared, two characters discuss the quality of some drugs:

"This is real shit. This coke is pure shit. "

"It's good shit, right?"

"I mean bad shit."

"Bad shit like, "this shit is bad?" "

"It's shit shit. This shit isn't worth shit. There's barely enough coke in here to attract the dogs. Anybody caught on the street with this would get killed.

[PK]

I think I posted this in the best film insults thread as well. It's beautiful

[mr_woo]

Midnight Run still has one of the best scripts for an action comedy ever. It's smart, hilarious and every. single. performance is brilliant. Personally my favorite Robert De Niro film and the pairing of him and Charles Grodin is still my favourite buddy buddy duo ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqGo2Uq7MGQ