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Things That F**k You Off - Gaming Edition


Corporal Flashback
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As I suspected, Nes owners. Could not afford a Megadrive.

Brought the system becuase it had Ninja Turtles in it. (In fact the parents brought it)

I bow down to those "Hardcore" Credtials. ;)

Pffft, my dad actually bought me a megadrive AND a SNES one christmas, then he gave me 10 minutes to pick which one I going to keep.

He did buy me a copy of TMNT though when he was in America on doing something, its true. Bought me SMB3 for the same reason

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5. Fake nostalgia for Nintendo. Barely anyone owned a NES in the UK, and the earliest version of the NES Marios most would have seen would be All Stars.

It's true that there's a fake nostalgia for Nintendo this side of the Atlantic, specifically that the NES was some mid 80s runaway phenomenon here. Probably the kind of person who grew up in Wigan yet misremembers their childhood as being 'Corey' eating Slim Jims in Math class just before softball practise.

But it's an exaggeration to say that barely anyone owned a NES in the UK, and an even bigger exaggeration to suggest that most people's first experience of the SMB series was through the SNES compilation.

Going back to the fake nostalgia thing, I suspect lots of that is due to the increased dominance of USA media (online videogaming sites) where only one reality of video games in the 80s exists. Another possible factor is that British home computer boom of the early 80s is now but a long distant memory (and not EVEN a memory for the new generation of gameplayers), and the only show in town today is games hardware from the USA and Japan.

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Boss battles at the very end of the game that are stupidly hard and often don't use all the skills you've built up over the course of the game ...that eventually make you stop playing and ruin what was otherwise a great game (Spiderman 2, I'm looking at you)

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The Master System was for kids who had stinky small houses and had Mums who served up cottage pie when you went round and either made their orange squash super weak or way too strong.

;):facepalm::doh:

I had a NES. All my mates had a NES.

Except for Robert, he had a Master System.

He was always trying to convince us his Master System was way better, usually with outlandish lies about how good Alex Kidd was.

"You know in Alex Kidd right, you can get a FLYING TANK and if you score a million points in the FLYING TANK, Sega will give you a holiday to America and a million dollars!!!" he'd say.

One day we all pretended that we'd all got free pizza from Pizza Hut the night before, as a reward for reaching world 6-1 in Super Mario. Wayne even went so far as to claim that he really struggled on level 5-3 and didn't get his pzza until midnight, but his mum and dad let him stay up to eat it.

It was, of course, a one-off deal and even if Robert bought a NES tomorrow and got to level 6-1, he'd never enjoy the free pizza we'd all spent the previous night munching on.

This resulted in Robert running away floods of tears cascading down his face, screaming "It's not true, IT'S NOT TRUE!!!".

He was right. It wasn't.

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;):facepalm::doh:

I had a NES. All my mates had a NES.

Except for Robert, he had a Master System.

He was always trying to convince us his Master System was way better, usually with outlandish lies about how good Alex Kidd was.

"You know in Alex Kidd right, you can get a FLYING TANK and if you score a million points in the FLYING TANK, Sega will give you a holiday to America and a million dollars!!!" he'd say.

One day we all pretended that we'd all got free pizza from Pizza Hut the night before, as a reward for reaching world 6-1 in Super Mario. Wayne even went so far as to claim that he really struggled on level 5-3 and didn't get his pzza until midnight, but his mum and dad let him stay up to eat it.

It was, of course, a one-off deal and even if Robert bought a NES tomorrow and got to level 6-1, he'd never enjoy the free pizza we'd all spent the previous night munching on.

This resulted in Robert running away floods of tears cascading down his face, screaming "It's not true, IT'S NOT TRUE!!!".

He was right. It wasn't.

LOL amazing.

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The Master System was for kids who had stinky small houses and had Mums who served up cottage pie when you went round and either made their orange squash super weak or way too strong.

Amazing how true that is. The only kids I knew who had a Master System II either stank of:

- Piss

- Shit

- Diarrhoea

Seriously, fucking diarrhoea! ;) And his name was Michael DYER to boot, which resulted in half the playground encircling him, pointing and singing "Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea, Diarrhoea let me go, MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOO."

Luckily I didn't have to force myself to bear it since they all for some reason only had copies of Ace of Aces and Global Gladiators.

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The Master System was for kids who had stinky small houses and had Mums who served up cottage pie when you went round and either made their orange squash super weak or way too strong.

Brilliant, that's my Mum that is! ;)

My friends never wanted to stay for tea, hell, even I didn't want to stay for tea most of time. Frozen Tesco cottage pie in those foil dishes with baked beans, yeesh.

Y'know the bit in This is England where he wants the Doc Martens but his Mum is trying to fob him off with some cheap rubbish? That kid was me except it was Nike trainers and I always ended up leaving with a pair of Head or Nicks instead(can you still get them on the market along with Benson's crisps?).

I never knew anyone with a NES, all my experience of it was playing this demo unit upstairs in Boots...

m82-1.gif

A few kids had Master Systems, but it was mainly a split between the 8-bit trifecta of Amstrad/Speccy/C64 and the Amiga/Atari ST kids who had the luxury of drinking Yop instead of squash.

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wonderboy3.jpg

alex-kidd-in-miracle-world-cover.jpg

What do I care, by 1990 I already had a Megadrive. While you NES fanboys were wetting yourselves over a 5 year old game. ;)

The box looked like shit - but that Wonderbay was amaze.

Also, if like me you were sensible and had a paper round the upgrade path was simple:

Speccy

MS

Import Mega Drive

Additional SNES

AES...

Actually that's one thing that really f*cked me off about gaming...AES cart prices. Man they were crazy for young 'uns. At least they've kept a bit of their value at least.

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People who worship a particular gaming platform. You can't take the whole gamut of timeless classics, shameless cash-cows and everything in-between, only to ignore the sub-par stuff and pretend that anyone who owned Platform of Worship X could go into a game store, pick every title off the shelf and be satisfied with every single one of them.

Also, people who won't let go of a defunct gaming platform, maintaining that it still has a valid place in this generation of gaming even if it hasn't been available in Game stores for about seven years or so.

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No play/pause control over cutscenes in the majority of games.

If companies have spent so much time and effort into making their cutscenes "really awesome and unmissable", I should be able to control when how I watch them in the event that I have to answer the door/telephone, have a pee, check the dinner or even just talk to my girlfriend when she get's home from work. It's really annoying that a simple thing like pausing some video is still in the minority.

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No play/pause control over cutscenes in the majority of games.

If companies have spent so much time and effort into making their cutscenes "really awesome and unmissable", I should be able to control when how I watch them in the event that I have to answer the door/telephone, have a pee, check the dinner or even just talk to my girlfriend when she get's home from work. It's really annoying that a simple thing like pausing some video is still in the minority.

Totally with you on this, pressing a button should opt to let you skip or pause, most final fantasy games have this as standard nowadays. Plus subs on every bloody game please, you had to write down the lines ofr someone to read them, so it cant be that hard to put them in game if i want the volume a little low!

ANd how about some cross platform online action, the PC & Xbox can do it, as can ps2 360 & PC through FFXI so we know it isnt a problem.... CHoosing a console now and some friends have a PS3 and some a 360, now I have to choose which one I want as I like both, but which one I will play online more often....

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No play/pause control over cutscenes in the majority of games.

If companies have spent so much time and effort into making their cutscenes "really awesome and unmissable", I should be able to control when how I watch them in the event that I have to answer the door/telephone, have a pee, check the dinner or even just talk to my girlfriend when she get's home from work. It's really annoying that a simple thing like pausing some video is still in the minority.

Thankfully the guide/home buttons on today's consoles tend to pause any action, cutscene or no. Not always, but usually. Just in case the developers weren't so thoughtful. :lol:

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People who wont wait in a lobby for more than 10seconds.

Yes, i know you are ready, but what is the point in doing a 15 lap race on Spa if it is just going to be me and you? At least wait for two more people.

The flipside of this is people who host ranked lobbies on beat-em-ups, but then just don't start the game or let you know what the wait is for. Or eject you as soon as you enter the lobby. It's a beat-em-up only phenomenom as far as I can tell - it's tolerable on SF4 and SF2HD but it's pandemic on Marvel Vs Capcom 2.

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Thankfully the guide/home buttons on today's consoles tend to pause any action, cutscene or no. Not always, but usually. Just in case the developers weren't so thoughtful. <_<

I found that if you take the batteries out of the control this pauses cutscenes too.

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Not sure if this has been mentioned yet but:

Racing games that put the camera behind the car rather than above it. You can't see anything coming, espeically when you're driving uphill. Some games let you move the camera with the right stick but when you let go it springs back - why can't you just let me keep the camera where I want it? It's obvious you can display the events, it would be easy to not let it spring back.

Ultimately 99% of racers are guilty of this. So it's bumpercam most of the time.

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No play/pause control over cutscenes in the majority of games.

If companies have spent so much time and effort into making their cutscenes "really awesome and unmissable", I should be able to control when how I watch them in the event that I have to answer the door/telephone, have a pee, check the dinner or even just talk to my girlfriend when she get's home from work. It's really annoying that a simple thing like pausing some video is still in the minority.

This has been one of my bugbears for years. The player should be allowed to pause the game at any time.

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I'm quite new to online gaming really (played some Pro 5 on XBOX but mainly 360 stuff) and I still don't understand why it can't tell me if people are currently online playing the game I want to play. Say I want to play some Doom online, I can go into the game and then search for a game and wait ages, or I can host a game and wait ages, there might be someone who wants to play, there might not. It's so random. Why isn't there a little box which says "# people currently online playing this game: X" so I know to bother or not.

Also, why on the 360 can't I search my friends' achievement scores by game. Why can't I select Beatles Rock Band and it's shows me all of my friends who have scores for that game. Rather than randomly selecting one at a time to see if they own/play it!!

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No play/pause control over cutscenes in the majority of games.

If companies have spent so much time and effort into making their cutscenes "really awesome and unmissable", I should be able to control when how I watch them in the event that I have to answer the door/telephone, have a pee, check the dinner or even just talk to my girlfriend when she get's home from work. It's really annoying that a simple thing like pausing some video is still in the minority.

Amen! I can pause my music if the phone rings, I can pause my DVD/Blu-ray if the doorbell goes, these days I can even pause live TV FFS, but I can't pause a video in a game? Should be part of the certification process - ie. manadatory.

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Hidden collectibles. Even when they're non-essential to the plot, such as hidden packages in GTA, they annoy me. I don't bother with them, I don't have a compulsion to get them all in order to achieve 100% completion, but I'm annoyed that the developers think this is a worthwhile thing to put in a game. When they're essential to the completion of the game through opening up new levels or even just seeing the ending, that's even more annoying.

I don't like it when I lose something and have to find it. If I misplace my keys, it's not a fun experience trying to recover them.

The right way to do it is in Crackdown - highly visible collectibles, that aren't easy to reach. The difficulty should come from the real problem of working out how to access them, not the fake difficulty of having you search every square metre of the map.

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