Jump to content

Things That F**k You Off - Gaming Edition


Corporal Flashback
 Share

Recommended Posts

The lack of hidden areas in games. Where have all the hidden rooms, levels and special areas gone? Sonic had some great special games when you collected 50 rings. Doom had loads of little hidden extras with goodies inside. Mario had rooms just filled with coins. But you never get them anymore.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really long boring tutorial bits that aren't much like the game proper - Fallout 3 and Assassin's Creed are particular culprits.

Fallout's opening is great, it makes the character creation organic and prevents you from staring at character creation screens rapidly going through them because you want to jump in and play, and so you end up with botched ineffective characters for the rest of the game. Actually, that's my pet hate.

The lack of hidden areas in games. Where have all the hidden rooms, levels and special areas gone? Sonic had some great special games when you collected 50 rings. Doom had loads of little hidden extras with goodies inside. Mario had rooms just filled with coins. But you never get them anymore.

I too miss this. I remember the old Quake hidden levels, they were great. Nowadays a level takes so long to make and costs so much they can't afford to make stuff like this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fallout's opening is great, it makes the character creation organic and prevents you from staring at character creation screens rapidly going through them because you want to jump in and play, and so you end up with botched ineffective characters for the rest of the game. Actually, that's my pet hate.

No, I actually would have preferred to just pick my stats and go, rather than 'play' a drawn-out version of the same thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fallout's opening is great, it makes the character creation organic and prevents you from staring at character creation screens rapidly going through them because you want to jump in and play, and so you end up with botched ineffective characters for the rest of the game. Actually, that's my pet hate.
No, I actually would have preferred to just pick my stats and go, rather than 'play' a drawn-out version of the same thing.

I get the feeling the intro will be my favourite part of the game; I loved the character-orientation of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do now know if it has been said yet, but why when I have a console with a hard drive and no other means of storage do games ask me where I want to save. Is it not obvious :(

Burnout Dominator for the PSP. The "retry" option took about 30 to 40 seconds. So you were in a race, made a minor mistake, could not make the target time/score, wanted a fast retry, had to wait for 30 to 40 seconds. And possibly do it all over again in a matter of seconds because those challenges towards the end are unforgiving.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Textscreens instead of voice-acting. Or even worse: voice-acting in cutscenes and text in the rest of the game. Usually combined with indefinite looping character animations which makes the character look like an autistic with downs while the game waits for you to press a button.

Understandable in the old days or on handhelds, but unforgivable today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Generally the writing is horrible and the characters voices are pretty detached from their movements and so on. There aren't many games where you can get a feeling of the characters' personalities through just the way they move. It's not like they can't do it, Little Big Adventure had wicked animation. Some games do. Batman does, but there are so many more poor examples. I cared more about characters when the blanks were filled in in my mind, like Gameboy Zelda.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm actually surprised it hasn't come up - but QTEs. I'm not talking about an over-reliance on them, I'm talking about them full-stop. I can't say I've ever played-through one and thought "I really enjoyed that". I hate them; I know why they are implemented but the main problem I have is that because I never know when they are coming, so I find that I'm always looking at the area of the screnn where the prompt is going to appear, and not the 'cinematic action', thus defeating the point of them. Heavy Rain looks awful in this respect, for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm actually surprised it hasn't come up - but QTEs. I'm not talking about an over-reliance on them, I'm talking about them full-stop. I can't say I've ever played-through one and thought "I really enjoyed that".

God Hand says hi. But yeah, you're mostly right; in more recent cases it just seems a bit of a chore. I recently completed FEAR 2 and there were times when I'd have to hover one finger over a face button in anticipation of getting pinned down yet again by something leaping out of the dark. The first couple of times it was quite effective, but when I started counting the seconds before the next one... :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very few games have decent voiceovers for all characters though. By 'decent' I only mean reasonably believable, instead of the horrible phoned-in badly intonated crap we always get that makes me embarrassed to play games sometimes.

So I'd rather have voices for the main characters who have decent voice actors, and text for the unimportant characters usually voiced by the work experience boy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

;):P:hat:

I had a NES. All my mates had a NES.

Except for Robert, he had a Master System.

He was always trying to convince us his Master System was way better, usually with outlandish lies about how good Alex Kidd was.

"You know in Alex Kidd right, you can get a FLYING TANK and if you score a million points in the FLYING TANK, Sega will give you a holiday to America and a million dollars!!!" he'd say.

One day we all pretended that we'd all got free pizza from Pizza Hut the night before, as a reward for reaching world 6-1 in Super Mario. Wayne even went so far as to claim that he really struggled on level 5-3 and didn't get his pzza until midnight, but his mum and dad let him stay up to eat it.

It was, of course, a one-off deal and even if Robert bought a NES tomorrow and got to level 6-1, he'd never enjoy the free pizza we'd all spent the previous night munching on.

This resulted in Robert running away floods of tears cascading down his face, screaming "It's not true, IT'S NOT TRUE!!!".

He was right. It wasn't.

How times have changed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or even worse: voice-acting in cutscenes and text in the rest of the game.

Pssttt heres a secret. Disc space, and cost are a large reason for this. Fully voiced 40+ hour rpg, with even the most banal line from a npc muttered? Not going to happen apart from maybe one or two rare examples

Unless you meant games with hardly any text, in which case, sure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even if someone's mentioned this it's worth another rant. City based racing games that spawn cars just around blind corners that are impossible to miss at 200mph, but the CPU players you're racing against rarely seem to have an issue with them. Hello, MCLA! It's nice being in a living city 'n' all, but when you're just trying to race stuff like that doesn't half fuck me off and there's no need for it, surely all it needs is "when race active then don't spawn cuntishly". Also, CPU players completely ignoring rules that are applied to the player, such as cars that can out-accelerate bikes except when you're the one in the car racing the bike.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pssttt heres a secret. Disc space, and cost are a large reason for this. Fully voiced 40+ hour rpg, with even the most banal line from a npc muttered? Not going to happen apart from maybe one or two rare examples

How is voice synth tech these days? Are we anywhere close to a console generating a human sounding voice that could fill in for a voice actor in a case like those? I suppose it would have been done if we were.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pssttt heres a secret. Disc space, and cost are a large reason for this. Fully voiced 40+ hour rpg, with even the most banal line from a npc muttered? Not going to happen apart from maybe one or two rare examples

Unless you meant games with hardly any text, in which case, sure.

They managed it in Fallout 3, although admittedly the re-use of the same voices for a lot of characters was a bit shit. Still, I think with enough decent voiceactors and a couple of tricks like real time pitch shifting/time stretching you could do a LOT.

Synthesized speech has come quite a long way, but I doubt if it's possible to put enough emotion in it yet to make convincing characters.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How is voice synth tech these days? Are we anywhere close to a console generating a human sounding voice that could fill in for a voice actor in a case like those?

God no, we IBM's synth speech stuff for temp dialogue during dev and it's comically bad, stilted & the mispronunciations can be hilarious. If the line has any sort of noise or repeated characters in it they get read - e.g. for Fable 2 there were lines for people talking in their sleep which would start and end with sleeping noises which were written as 'zzzzzz' so in game you got "Zee. Zee. Zee.".

It's like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer gets hold of Phonics Frog.

Plus as it stands the generated stuff is still an offline process producing data so there's really no difference in space between it and 'proper' voice acting. Run time generated stuff to the speed & quality we'd require is a long way off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Use of this website is subject to our Privacy Policy, Terms of Use, and Guidelines.