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Is Under Siege 2 the worst film ever? A Steven Seagal Thread


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I'm watching it right now. The bad guy, the use of 'gentlemen' and 'people' by gruff military types, the music when you first see Steven Seagull... it has literally nothing going for it. FWIW the first film is one of my all-time favourites.

This is just dire on every level.

steven-seagull.jpg

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Do I have to spoiler the ending because it's brilliant

Problem: Laptop controlling the satellite that's going to destroy Washington and cannot be hacked as the lead bad guy gets away. Solution: Shoot the laptop. It also has Ryback running through an exploding train and grabbing onto a ladder dangling from a helicopter to escape the train exploding after saving the day.

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Oh ryodi, you've reminded me of the Ryback running through train part at the end. The brilliant thing is, Seagal isn't even running for his life in that scene, he's just out for a light jog. It really doesn't suit the scene at all and it has me in stitches everytime :lol:

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There is no way Under Siege 2 is the worst film ever made when we live in a world where Fred: the Movie exists.

Oh man, I just watched the trailer and it was worse than I could ever have imagined. Have you sat through it? I think I might become obsessed with it.

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Generally I really enjoyed all of Seagals theatrical films, even things like The Glimmer Man. It's when you get to the DTV stuff shit gets REALLY bad. The other stars who went DTV have some decent films amongst their lot, like for example Dolph Lundgren has The Mechanik (and a few others), Van Damme has Wake Of Death, Universal Soldier Regeneration (and a few others) whilst I can't even think of one really good Seagal DTV film. He really does appear in those for the paycheck, hell half the time it's not even his fucking voice! I watched one their recently with him, Born To Raise Hell, and it was one of the biggest piles of shite I've seen for ages.

The worst thing is I keep watching these fucking things, it's like touching a bloody sore tooth but I can't help it.

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Anyone seen Eye of the Tiger?

They stole his pride and destroyed his family and now he'll do whatever it takes to get justice! Action legend Gary Busey (Lethal Weapon) "makes a great, rawboned blue-collar hero" (Los Angeles Times) in this hard-boiled tale of revenge and retribution! Buck Matthews (Busey) returns to his rural hometown after serving time in prison for a crime he didn't commit, wanting only to live in peace with his beloved wife and daughter. But that peace is irrevocably shattered when a sinister biker gang begins terrorizing the townspeople. When Buck's brave attempt to protect his family from the vicious marauders results in tragedy, he embarks on a one-man war against his evilfoes and even though he's outnumbered and outgunned, he won't give up until the last body drops!

It looks like it cost £20 to make, £15 of which went on licensing the eponymous song. They get their money worth out of it as it pretty much plays on a loop for the entire duration of the film.

It has the bloke who played Conan's dad, in the Arnie film, channeling Bennett from Commando as the villian. Somehow they also managed to rope in poor old Yaphet Kotto.

It has a scene where Busey covers a giant Looney Tunes-esque stick of dynamite in lube and shoves it up a bad guy's arse.

Everyone should experience it once in their lifetime, preferably in company and inebriated.

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Our psychological profile on you says you will. However, if you wish to prove that profile incorrect, watch closely as an intensly hot needle penetrates the lens of one of the most beautiful eyes in the world. The needlepoint will pass through the lens with, very little difficulty. The heat will cauterize and seal the wound, but will continue to transfer heat into the fluid of the eye. The fluid comes to a boil, and the eyeball itself... explodes.

Always made me laugh. According to who?

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