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Godawful Cinema Adverts


Harsin
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Has anyone else had the misfortune to see the fucking Nurdles (Aquafresh Toothpaste Family) infomercial that precedes the Kids AM showing at Vue cinemas?

It's styled as a TV show aimed at toddlers to help them with brushing their teeth but is actually a shit advert for kids toothpaste. I swear it's on for a half an hour and it's fronted by some shit-awful never-heard-of-her woman. Edith Bowman would be a monumental improvement over this Milkshake-wannabe.

The tickets are only £1.50 each or something though, so I guess that's how they pay for it.

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Why not go in 40 minutes later?

Unless it's a film that's been in the cinema for quite a while, or you only go at off peak times, then you risk getting terrible seats (at least, you do in the Movie House chain in Belfast, which has unallocated seating so booking ahead is no use). There's also the rather real risk of missing the start of the film. I'd rather sit through some adverts than miss the film I paid to see - it's not like I would be doing terribly much with the time instead.

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  • 10 months later...

The absolute nadir of the Orange cinema adverts has to be the Rio one. Everytime I ever had to sit through it the entire cinema descended into an uncomfortable silence.

Yes, it was terrible. One thing that always confused me about it though was that it was a mobile phone advert telling us how shit mobile phones were at video.

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Arrrghhhh ARRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS HAVE NO...NOOOOOOOOO IDEA....!!!!

Here in Canada not only are there adverts but we also get this all the time...

- Little Fun Celebrity Interviews about something amusing or funny that happened on the set of a film. Yes, that film is either showing at the cinema or is about to.

- Fun Celebrity quizzes. You see a pixelated celeb face slowly become unpixelated. Who is it??? That's right! It's WILL SMITH!!! Oh and Yes Will Smith can be seen in After Earth.

It's only a matter of time until this becomes standard in mainstream UK cinemas. Hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! HAA HAHA

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Vue cinemas have a weird little promo they show before each film with this thumping, high tempo music promoting their 4K digital projection and surround sound and stuff. It's pretty short, and I don't really mind it, but I am always amused that one of the things they boast about is their incredible stepped seating arrangement. Are we seriously meant to be impressed that they have stepped seating like practically every other cinema in the world?

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I don't think I can actually enjoy films with Kevin Bacon in them anymore after watching this dozens of times.

"Tremors Kevin Bacon?"

"Negative. He's deep underground."

"Animal House Bacon?"

"Toga! Toga! Toga!"

"The Woodsman Bacon?"

*walks past and goes up the stairs, leading a child by the hand*

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Unless it's a film that's been in the cinema for quite a while, or you only go at off peak times, then you risk getting terrible seats (at least, you do in the Movie House chain in Belfast, which has unallocated seating so booking ahead is no use). There's also the rather real risk of missing the start of the film. I'd rather sit through some adverts than miss the film I paid to see - it's not like I would be doing terribly much with the time instead.

Pre book.

Last time I went to the cinema I grabbed the tickets on my way past after work. I got to pick the best seats and then turned up later at 9:25pm for my "9:00pm" movie knowing that Odeon shows 30 mins of nonsense before each movie. I think we sat through one trailer and before the actual movie started.

SRSLY it's the future.

Also OP, so true about Edith. Those little clips drive me crazy. The cinema is MOSTLY SHIT LUV, stop trying to pretend it isn't.

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Some places don't have seat allocations. It's just show up and grab what you can.

Also, I had no idea EE was just Orange until I saw the EE Wednesday advert in the cinema yesterday. I just assumed it was an entirely new network, not a re-branding. They've conveyed that one well.

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The only seats you can pre-book in Odeon here are the premium seats. Though I guess it must be possible to pre-book ordinary seats somehow, maybe at the counter or something, as there are sometimes some marked as booked when I buy tickets online.

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I do get to the cinema a good twenty minutes after the billed starting time (and book my tickets beforehand). Thing is I quite like watching the trailers, and the Winstone advert is often played right before they begin, so it's normally a case of unfortunate timing that means I have to sit through it. And if it's not the Winstone advert then it's the M&M's. And the Orange advert is always after the trailers. <_<

The indie cinema does adverts too, but some are actually quite entertaining (and take up far less time). They currently have some Volkswagen ones I don't mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZXz_yPLYw

Christ - did these start last September? They're *still* showing them, usually twice per screening, at my local. It was a great concept, but why only make three of the damn things?

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