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Star Spotting


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I'm assuming we've always figured kerraig would render it it a bit pointless but fuck it, let's go!

This morning, at Sheffield train station, none other than ... John Landis! Director of the best pop video, comedy and horror ever (some might say musical too but I can't stand it)

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I think I saw Robert Elms having his photo taken outside the 100 Club on Oxford St a few nights ago.

My gf went to a hen night last weekend, part of which was going to some cabaret-themed restaurant or something. Anyway, Super Hans from Peep Show was also there.

Who wants to touch me?

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I saw Paddy Considine buying a Peppa Pig Rocket playset in the Tamworth branch of Toys R Us. I looked about ten times and even sent a text to the wife about it (her reply - "Who?"). I didn't quite believe it but then someone pointed out that he lives in Burton, which is just down the road.

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Such bitterness.

I saw Paddy Considine buying a Peppa Pig Rocket playset in the Tamworth branch of Toys R Us. I looked about ten times and even sent a text to the wife about it (her reply - "Who?"). I didn't quite believe it but then someone pointed out that he lives in Burton, which is just down the road.

Phew. That's better.

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Not movie stars, but my exciting, real-life, celebrity encounters are the sum total of...

  • Seeing Robert Llewellyn walking on the street across from the British Museum as I drove past in a taxi once.
  • Getting out of a hotel lift in York as Dara O'Briain got in a few months back (he had a gig in York that night)
  • Seeing various comics at business conferences (including receiving a prize from Phil Jupitus one time). And one where Rowland Rivron made loads of offensive jokes about the senior managers which went down like lead baloons.

Beat that!

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I saw Andy Serkis on the tube once. I also walked into Chris Eubanks by accident and he tutted at me and said 'don't you know who I am?' To which I replied 'no, but watch where you're bloody going next time'.

I also called Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen a prick to his face as he was horrid to my wife when she briefly had to work with him.

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My best spots:

Joe Cornish in Brixton, looking a bit chunky but also rather dapper

The awesome Jay Rayner, although my friend wins as she has seen him in Brockwell Lido ("exceptionally hairy")

Margaret Mountford in a lift

Russell Tovey popped his head into Rock Club London - looked suitably confused

Joe Dempsie (Gendry off of Game of Thrones) rocking a beard on the bus

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The last time we were in London with Unspec’s parents we were walking to the Imperial War Museum with his parents slightly in front of us and passed Richard Ayoade and his wife pulling their suitcases to the tube station. We were actually still walking along, looked at each other and went “wasn’t that?” and then from ahead of us his mum shouts out his dad’s name along with “That was Moss!” we all turn around and look, he throws a quick glance over his shoulder and took off walking faster.

Aside from that I have seen Jilly Cooper in the local Waitrose and Jimmy Saville in the boozer down the road and around the corner from our flat in Scarborough.

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Well this thread certainly showed up at a fortuitous time for me to show off my celebrity connections.

Two weekends ago, I saw Jimmy McKenna (the bloke who plays Jack Osborne in Hollyoaks!) in the menswear department of Marks and Spencer in Sheffield! I couldn't stop to chat as I was rushing my son to the toilets. It would have been embarrassing if I had stopped to chat, because at the time I thought it was Alex Ferguson. And also my son would have wet himself.

But that's not all! This weekend just gone, I saw Jimmy McKenna (Jack out of Hollyoaks) walking around the Christmas market in Sheffield, just outside Marks and Spencer! I didn't stop to chat because I'm sure that man is stalking me.

I do not spend all my spare time hanging around Marks and Spencer.

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When I was about 12 I met Alan Cumming on Upper Street, Islington, after my mum had dragged me yet again against my will to church. He was really polite and said he was going to be in the new James Bond film. I'd recently seen Circle of Friends and tried to sound in the know by saying: 'Ah yeah, I really like Minnie Rider.' :doh:

He smiled politely, then left me to go back into church to flood the bathroom or something to break the tedium.

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Dominik Diamond on the subway loads of times, also in King Tuts a lot. (Larger than you'd think)

Nige from 'Vids' on the subway. (Playing with his phone, still mental looking.)

Sarha Jessica Parker in New York. (tiny, dripping with wealth)

Clive Anderson dragging what looked to be an amp through Central Station and looking bedraggled.

Rory Bremner talking LOUDLY on his phone outside KFC on Union St (he was just up for the night but he'd LOVE to see her next time)

The big hairy one from 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' from the late 90's. Grey, curly hair.

Limmy, walking down St Vincent St glued to his phone.

Biglime standing outside the St Enoch Centre in his ridiculous flat cap, blazer and oversize trainer combo.

Dennis Quaid through a window in New York.

Suzi perri checking into a hotel as I checked out (looked me up and down in disgust)

Various Scottish DJ's & TV personalities in pubs, all fucking blootered and giving it all that.

Michelle Mone trying on shoes in Silverburn and falling over a bit. I laughed, the cow.

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A fat, short Russell Crowe lookalike in New York. Until his wife shouted out "Russell, look at this" and I realised it was him.

Scarlett Johanssen in an airline lounge. I tried to catch her eye. Instead she ignored the ugly prick eating breakfast.

Nicole Kidman - another lounge. Looked good.

Helena Bonham Carter on a plane- wearing a fucking ridiculous knitted Christmas jumper.

That black American comedian with dreadlocks. In waitrose buying booze.

Ricky Gervais eating an ice cream on Portobello beach. Said to the wife " there's the guy out of the office." "Who?"

What's her name from the older Spider-Man films in a restaurant. Kept looking over my wife's shoulder at her. Annoyed the wife.

Alleged rapist John Leslie chatting up a middle aged hen party going to Magaluf. Airport again.

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