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What’s the worst film you have ever seen?


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16 hours ago, Tourist said:

And at the risk of inviting a further torrent of negs, I watched aquaman and it sits pretty comfortably at the top of my shit movie pile. Everything from the dad's hair to the lame attempt to leven the sententiousness with bolted on jokes was just awful, awful stuff. 

 

It's like 22 marvel movies and a century of cinema history never existed.

 

On the plus side: octopus drummer.

 

 

I liked Drive. Though I can't see myself watching it again because of the lift attack scene... 

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If we're talking terrible films we saw at the cinema, I'm putting Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in there. I mean, it's just abysmal. I get dragged to a lot of shitty monster movies by my lovely other half, but this one took the cake.

 

It's just creatively bankrupt, boring, stitched together from several incomplete scripts, woefully performed, totally miscast and - and this is the kicker - less worthy of my time than the forgettable Rampage. If I hadn't been there with said missus, I'd have walked out, 100%. 

 

Despite protesting that she enjoyed it as we were leaving the cinema, she has never even mentioned it again since, let alone asked to watch it again.

 

Edit: scores should be lower!

 

JWFK.jpg.f991e85df88892f396808e32e9c55567.jpg

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  • 2 months later...

CBGB (2013)

 

CBGB is a 2013 American historical film about the former New York music venue CBGB. It follows the story of Hilly Kristal's New York club from its concept as a venue for Country, Bluegrass and Blues (CBGB) to what it ultimately became: the birthplace of underground rock'n'roll and punk.

 

I saw this on prime earlier and it caught my eye. Between the source material and Alan Rickman I thought it couldn't go wrong. But go wrong it did, from start to finish without ever going right for a second. 

 

I wanna hit myself a kick in the balls for sitting through all 100 minutes of it.

 

7% fresh on rotten tomatoes. 

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I don't know about worse film I've ever seen but the worst thing I can remember at the cinema over the past 10-15 years was the now forgotten Wolfman remake with Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

 

Hopkins is phoning it in for the entire film except for one inexplicable moment in where he delivers a borderline unintelligible speech in the style of Roland Birkin QC off the Fast Show.

 

"Hmmrhhmm, hrhmm... little Indian boy! gnns, thwmemw... ghrmmm... eyes like a wolf!"

 

The climax of the film is a CGI wrestling match between two werewolves.

 

Utter fucking shit.

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51 minutes ago, extremepabs said:

Loads!

 

Freddy got fingered

Inception

The Village

The happening

Beaches

Blair Witch

 

I am sure many more will come to mind

 

Three of these films I'd rate as seriously excellent with one (of the three) being a masterpiece. 

 

Y'all don't know you're born. The days of the VHS rental bargain bin were fucking grim. 

The worst film I've ever seen is easily Witchcraft 2 : The Temptress. 

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100943/

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Freddy Got Fingered is a real marmite film. Provokes strong reactions one way or another  from everyone. I think it's the most I've ever laughed at a film. I was sixteen and stoned as fuck and if was on the BBC late at night. My da was in bed and he came down the stairs because he thought there was something wrong with me I was laughing so hard. 

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10 minutes ago, Raoull duke said:

Freddy Got Fingered is a real marmite film. Provokes strong reactions one way or another  from everyone. I think it's the most I've ever laughed at a film. I was sixteen and stoned as fuck and if was on the BBC late at night. My da was in bed and he came down the stairs because he thought there was something wrong with me I was laughing so hard. 

 

The best art provokes that kind of reaction. 

I'd watched a lot of The Tom Green Show prior to seeing Freddy Got Fingered, and the whole thing just completely clicked for me. I kinda "got" the whole thing, how it's this weird subversive thing where the studio inadvertently basically gave him a blank check to make the most mental thing ever. I love it. 

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The Simon Pegg comedy Absolutely Anything, which I feel a bit bad for nominating as it was the last film directed by Terry Jones. Robin Williams is in it too as a talking dog :/

 

Star Trek Into Darkness was a shiter as well. And The World's End, fucking hell. It's bewildering that Simon Pegg still gets to make films at this point.

 

...

 

Also this is just awful: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5357556/

 

"The Belgian prime minister is kidnapped. If he wants to be released, he must murder the American president."

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1 hour ago, watusi said:

Or more recently, Sausage Party - desperately funny bollocks!

 

The Alan Menken song at the start was pretty good. But then after that, I think there were about two mildly amusing jokes in the entire film, populated by characters almost as ugly as those in the first Ice Age film (I mean ugly in terms of character design, rather than the low-budget/dated quality of the CGI).

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2 hours ago, MK-1601 said:

And The World's End, fucking hell. It's bewildering that Simon Pegg still gets to make films at this point.

 

I haven't seen The World's End since the cinema, as unlike SOTD and  Hot Fuzz I've felt little urgency to rewatch it (mostly because of the ending, I think). But it always perplexed me that so many people thought it was such a massive step down from the first two Cornetto films, let alone a candidate for worst film ever seen!

 

I mean, it's miles better than Paul...

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On 30/08/2019 at 00:14, Nick R said:

 

The Alan Menken song at the start was pretty good. But then after that, I think there were about two mildly amusing jokes in the entire film, populated by characters almost as ugly as those in the first Ice Age film (I mean ugly in terms of character design, rather than the low-budget/dated quality of the CGI).

 

I think I actually hate Seth Rogen a bit. How can someone have so much money and freedom to create so much adult comedy and be so unfunny?

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12 hours ago, Timmo said:

 

I think I actually hate Seth Rogen a bit. How can someone have so much money and freedom to create so much adult comedy and be so unfunny?

 

Pot. Both him and Kevin Smith swear blind that it enhances their creativity. In reality it just loosens their standards. 

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The worst films I think I've ever paid actual money to see in a cinema would be either Death Becomes Her (yeah, I'm fairly old), Batman & Robin and The Happening. That final one left me more confused than anything at the time. I was quite the fan of M. Night Shymalan at the time (loved Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village... I even thought Lady In The Water was okay), but The Happening was so utterly terrible throughout I kept expecting there to be a clever twist at the end to explain why everyone was behaving so strangely in the movie. It turned out just to be shitty writing, direction and acting.

 

I did quite heavily dislike Star Trek Into Darkness because it so heavily riffs off of The Wrath Of Khan, which is quite simply one of the best science fiction movies ever made. Whereas Into Darkness isn't even one of the best Star Trek movies ever made.

 

Oh, and I went on a date with a girl once to the cinema - she picked Paul Blart: Mall Cop. We did not go on any further dates.

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Of films that have a bit of budget behind them it has to be Johnny Depp's Transcendence. I think it was a bit of a flop, and I almost certainly watched it on a flight or something, but hell fire it was shite. The basic premise of uploading someone's consciousness onto a computer and seeing what happens is pretty hokey even when used in a tacky blockbuster context, but this is so po-faced and earnest and bloody worthy. 

 

It's a bit like Speed 2 in a lot of ways – shit me, don't let that massive cruise liner smash into the shore! Let's try and stop that happening. Then it does anyway. This is similar in that for half the film we're told that having a sentient AI version of Depp is well rubbish, but then it turns out not to be that bad after all? And nothing you've watched matters? It's just such a dull, useless turd.

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i watched the documentary, "Never Sleep Again" a while back and it contained an anecdote that I think sums up why I rarely go to the cinema any more, so here's a question for you....

 

Which of the Freddy Krueger films made the most money at the box office.   Make your guess now.

 

 

 


The Answer is Freddy Vs Jason.
 

 

 

And I think this is the source of the problem. Movies like Man of Steel (that I criticised in this thread back in March) are all about continuation of the story, even when there's no story.  Man of Steel is 2.5 hours of invincible people punching each other, Star Wars took 3 prequels to tell us how Darth Babby is formed,  and it's all about continuing to get the audience to see the latest movie in the franchise, whether there is a story to be told or not.  None of the stuff in Solo, Rogue One, or the prequels actually mattered.  

 

Every single character, plot thread or event in Phantom Menace is closed down and never needed again in any of the other films.  It's entirely made up fluff to pad out the story.  None of it needed to be told.

 

I'd guess that whoever was behind the film I spoilered above did it as a laugh, a bit of fan service.  The fact that it is the most profitable of the whole lot means that's the way forward for that movie company.  Why spend time creating new ideas, new movies, new characters, if your most successful film is two unconnected characters fighting for 90 minutes?

 

So in the interests of the thread, the worst film could be any of those they show on Channel 5 or the Hallmark Channel every afternoon - Instakiller, Killer Reputation, Secret Obsession, The Bad Man, Doctor it's my Heart, or Slave for Love.  But to actually name a worst film is to really be naming the most disappointing, the film you really got excited for but it turned out to be shit.  I'm going with the Star Wars prequels.  Promised so much , but ultimately all they did was pave the way for the trilogy I loved to turn into a soap opera that will never end.

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30 minutes ago, dumpster said:

None of it needed to be told.

 

You can push this as far as you want though, really, can't you? Does any work of fiction ever made actually matter? Does any of this matter? What is life other than an endless procession of tasks, some more pleasurable than others? Thanks mate, my evening's ruined.

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1 hour ago, Timmo said:

 

You can push this as far as you want though, really, can't you? Does any work of fiction ever made actually matter? Does any of this matter? What is life other than an endless procession of tasks, some more pleasurable than others? Thanks mate, my evening's ruined.

You're right of course, and i don't mean to ruin your evening.  But that isn't exactly my point, it's about when the shift moves away from the creative people coming up with ideas and commisions come from the money men who see the financial opportunity before the creative one. 

 

The formula should be that a creative makes a pitch for a movie and the money men finance it . The Star Wars prequels and Man of Steel, and Marvel universes look to be telling a story that never ends because it generates revenue, and this goes on until no-one cares any more.  By definition, the three star wars prequels occupied the time of 3 whole film crews who could have been working on three other films instead. 

 

There is an entire world of creativity out there, but the movie industry is ploughing all its resources into expanding on existing stories that were already told and completed. In 1996 i was very excited to know there were new Star Wars films in the works, but i feel apathy to the next movie, and as i type this i cant even remember the title of it. Last Skywalker? Ill google it.

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