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What’s the worst film you have ever seen?


Floshenbarnical
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18 hours ago, Sabreman said:

Beasts of the Southern Wild

 

Push comes to shove... I think it's X-Ray. A film I hated so much I bought the blu-ray for the commentary, because I wanted someone to explain to me what value they thought the movie had.

 

What exactly is so wrong with this one?, it has a very good consensus score from both critics and the general public.

 

Anyway, this thread pretty much tells me why modern gaming is so derided :P

 

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I've been thinking about this a bit more, I used to very rarely turn films off, even if they were bad I usually stick them out to see what happens. 

So over the past few years  I've been trying to change that behaviour because life is short. 

 

I can think of the following that I didn't make it more than 30 minutes into the film: 

Bad Neighbours

Pineapple express

This is 40

Sausage party

Drive angry

Crank 2

 

I can't say these are the worst films I've aver seen as I haven't seen them in their entirety, but can I really say that sucker punch, or crank, or suicide squad (to pick a few of the contenders) are the worst film I've seen as I actually watched them to the end. 

There's also deffo a theme here and it means I will need a letter from Mark Kermode before I'll voluntarily watch anything with Seth rogan in again. 

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51 minutes ago, And said:

I've been thinking about this a bit more, I used to very rarely turn films off, even if they were bad I usually stick them out to see what happens. 

So over the past few years  I've been trying to change that behaviour because life is short. 

 

I can think of the following that I didn't make it more than 30 minutes into the film: 

Bad Neighbours

Pineapple express

This is 40

Sausage party

Drive angry

Crank 2

 

I can't say these are the worst films I've aver seen as I haven't seen them in their entirety, but can I really say that sucker punch, or crank, or suicide squad (to pick a few of the contenders) are the worst film I've seen as I actually watched them to the end. 

There's also deffo a theme here and it means I will need a letter from Mark Kermode before I'll voluntarily watch anything with Seth rogan in again. 

 

I regard Crank 2 as one of the best films I have ever seen.

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1 hour ago, And said:

I've been thinking about this a bit more, I used to very rarely turn films off, even if they were bad I usually stick them out to see what happens. 

So over the past few years  I've been trying to change that behaviour because life is short. 

 

I can think of the following that I didn't make it more than 30 minutes into the film: 

Bad Neighbours

Pineapple express

This is 40

Sausage party

Drive angry

Crank 2

 

I can't say these are the worst films I've aver seen as I haven't seen them in their entirety, but can I really say that sucker punch, or crank, or suicide squad (to pick a few of the contenders) are the worst film I've seen as I actually watched them to the end. 

There's also deffo a theme here and it means I will need a letter from Mark Kermode before I'll voluntarily watch anything with Seth rogan in again. 

 

God I forgot about suicide squad. It’s unwatcheable. I’ve tried on three occasions but just can’t finish it. Justice League is terrible, also. They somehow managed to miss the point of everything that made the Nolan trilogy and the Marvel EU so successful (although I am not really a fan of Marvel movies at all, they at least are mostly watcheable.)

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This turd. Given the talent involved, it could have been a lot of fun even with the paper thin premise. What we actually got was a film that looked like a shitty broad BBC sitcom, with a script that could have been from the writer of a shitty broad BBC sitcom (it was actually written by Terry Jones, who had apparently had it knocking about in the bottom of a drawer for 20 years). Despite the strength of the cast, all of the performances were incredibly weak too, as if they knew they were making a bad film right from the start but made it anyway. We walked out after about 40 minutes, after he wished he was on a bus, but then he was on top of the bus outside it (hahaha, very clever).

 

The real tragedy is that this was Robin Williams' last film.

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Sucker Punch. No redeeming features. Snyder at his worst with a lurid, misogynistic piece of trash. Ghastly mess. 

 

More recently with the kids, I endured A Wrinkle in Time which was exceedingly dull. We now use it as part of our in-house disciplinary processes. Won't eat your greens? A Wrinkle in Time for 20 minutes.

 

 

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On 11/03/2019 at 21:45, Professor Rob said:

Now You See Me.

This. I spent quite a few evening of my youth watching crappy VHS movies with friends, and there's obviously stuff out there that's objectively worse (the ones that spring to mind is stuff like Omega Doom (it took us several attempts to actually watch it to the end), Chinese Boxes (we watched it quite a few times for some obscure reason, and I don't think any of us managed to get any idea about what the plot actually was) and early 60's Danish monster-movie wannabe Reptilicus).

 

But - Now You See Me is the first movie in a long time that offended me. The premise was good. The cast had potential. It started out decent. But the plot and especially the ending completely fell apart in a failed attempt to be "clever". The more I tried to figure out what I had missed, the more offended I got at how it had wasted my time. It's basically blatantly copying the ending of The Usual Suspects, but completely forgetting everything else that made that ending actually work.

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Battle for Los Angeles is utterly without merit. Perhaps even worse is Monsters Dark Continent which i found offensive

 

Skyline isnt much better. 

 

But for for well regarded films it's certainly Gravity for me. Just bollocks with a weird looking Sandra Bullock.

 

a few years ago I would have said Highlander 2, but I rewatched it recently and the ending is actually pretty decent.

 

and Heat is a masterpiece. Inception is in my top 10 films of all time.  

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23 minutes ago, sonicwave said:

This. I spent quite a few evening of my youth watching crappy VHS movies with friends, and there's obviously stuff out there that's objectively worse (the ones that spring to mind is stuff like Omega Doom (it took us several attempts to actually watch it to the end), Chinese Boxes (we watched it quite a few times for some obscure reason, and I don't think any of us managed to get any idea about what the plot actually was) and early 60's Danish monster-movie wannabe Reptilicus).

 

But - Now You See Me is the first movie in a long time that offended me. The premise was good. The cast had potential. It started out decent. But the plot and especially the ending completely fell apart in a failed attempt to be "clever". The more I tried to figure out what I had missed, the more offended I got at how it had wasted my time. It's basically blatantly copying the ending of The Usual Suspects, but completely forgetting everything else that made that ending actually work.

All respect to opinions and all that but the thing that grinds my gears about Now You See Me is why people get offended that it's either not as clever as The Prestige, like it cares, or that it thinks it's something or not. It is for my money one of the most ridiculously entertaining cinema experiences I've ever had, and I've loved the rewatches too. The twist is shit, it doesn't matter, there are countless edge of seat popcorn moments ("tonight - we're going to rob a bank"), and has one of the single greatest choreographed fights of recent years (in the apartment with the playing cards)

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1 hour ago, Stopharage said:

More recently with the kids, I endured A Wrinkle in Time which was exceedingly dull. We now use it as part of our in-house disciplinary processes. Won't eat your greens? A Wrinkle in Time for 20 minutes.

 

 

Still better than Interstellar. I really liked the story, and the kids. I thought it was fun. 

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The worst I've seen in recent memory is probably The Woman in Black. Not engaging at all, mess of a structure and Daniel Radcliffe was shit. From what I've been told they also stripped the mystery and completely changed up the plot from the book which seems about right.

 

 

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1 hour ago, linkster said:

All respect to opinions and all that but the thing that grinds my gears about Now You See Me is why people get offended that it's either not as clever as The Prestige, like it cares, or that it thinks it's something or not. It is for my money one of the most ridiculously entertaining cinema experiences I've ever had, and I've loved the rewatches too. The twist is shit, it doesn't matter, there are countless edge of seat popcorn moments ("tonight - we're going to rob a bank"), and has one of the single greatest choreographed fights of recent years (in the apartment with the playing cards)

I completely respect that - and had I seen it in the cinema, I might have had a different opinion (I have a respectable setup at home, but obviously still very far from a cinema experience).

 

My expectations (which was purely based on the text summary of the channel airing it together with the IMDb score) were for decent entertainment, but also for a somewhat clever movie, which is one of the genres that I generally enjoy the most. And when I realized that the clever part was fading away more and more as the movie progressed, and ended up in a twist that felt more tacked-on than part of the plot, I just got annoyed in a way that I don't usually get when watching movies.

 

I must admit that I don't even remember that fight scene though. Maybe I should actually consider a rewatch with readjusted expectations :)

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4 minutes ago, sonicwave said:

I completely respect that - and had I seen it in the cinema, I might have had a different opinion (I have a respectable setup at home, but obviously still very far from a cinema experience).

 

My expectations (which was purely based on the text summary of the channel airing it together with the IMDb score) were for decent entertainment, but also for a somewhat clever movie, which is one of the genres that I generally enjoy the most. And when I realized that the clever part was fading away more and more as the movie progressed, and ended up in a twist that felt more tacked-on than part of the plot, I just got annoyed in a way that I don't usually get when watching movies.

 

I must admit that I don't even remember that fight scene though. Maybe I should actually consider a rewatch with readjusted expectations :)

Yeah that defo sounds missold. It is what it is, a Vegas show on the big screen, completely OTT and absurd

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On 11/03/2019 at 21:46, SeanR said:

 

take your Anne Rice and watch Exit to Eden...

This is one of the worst concepts for a movie ever. Take Anne Rice writing bondage porn under a nom de plume and then try and make a romantic comedy out of it. Where the ‘comedy’ is provided by Rosie O’Donnel and Danananan Ackroyd in full on wacky mode.

0B02D2BB-35F7-43EE-881A-35B03FBA19AD.thumb.jpeg.b0d6b2789ea3bd2e33f611e319f24ca8.jpeg

And still managed to be worse than that poster.

 

Completely destroyed Paul Mercurio’s chance of a career in Hollywood.

 

 

Worst film I’ve ever seen is a tie between the first Michael Bay Transformers movie (a film where nothing, literally nothing made any sense) and Borat (I’ve seen films that have made me laugh less but Borat has a nasty, mean, hateful  streak in it that assumes it’s audience does to. I felt dirty just watching it. Vile piece of shit).

 

Special mentions as well for Kill Bill part 2 and Waterworld.

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I don't tend to watch bad films, but there's some baffling shit on Netflix

 

Contagion - this apparently got a wide cinema release and I'm convinced it existed solely as some sort of tax write off. It's incredibly boring, mostly filmed on a nondescript business park, badly framed and lit, and yet has a lot of big name actors in it, except they're all in very minor roles where they clearly came in for a few hours filming on a set, so they could put them on the poster. And they're in different locations so they never interact with the main actors, who are nobodies.

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On 11/03/2019 at 11:50, Floshenbarnical said:

So yeah what’s the worst film you ever seen 

 

Freddie got Fingered.

 

Back in the early 2000s my drinking buddies and I loved us some daft/crap movies, Austin Powers 2 quotes were our bread and butter.

 

One day my mates started introducing all these new references I didn't get - told me about this movie and were bigging it up massively.

 

They brought it round to watch before we went out one time. After about 5 minutes being subjected to it I was asking myself 'who are these people I call my friends???'

 

 

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11 hours ago, sonicwave said:

 It's basically blatantly copying the ending of The Usual Suspects, but completely forgetting everything else that made that ending actually work.

 

If you think that ending worked, I suppose. It made me angry. Usual Suspects is probably top 3 in worst movies I've seen.

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I always have my answer ready for whenever this question comes up. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Proof of Life:

 

 

I saw it at a press screening back in 2000 when I was working at Capital Radio - at the screening it was just me, my senior exec, and the agency reps who we were hoping would choose us for its radio advertising campaign. In the taxi on the way back I just couldn't help myself, and I spent about 20 minutes ranting about how terrible a film it was. We never got the booking from the agency after that and I got a serious ticking off for not keeping my mouth shut in the taxi. Had to be done though!

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1 hour ago, monkeydog said:

I'm sure I've seen worse films, but AWOL immediately sprang to mind.  I've been more bored watching a film*, but this is as bored as I ever remember being.  

 

*The Thin Red Line. Jesus, that's the prettiest dull film. 

I tried to watch Blood Sport tje other week and ot was so awful. The fight scenes were embarrassing, garbage technique, when some was even shown. Utterly awful.

 

I remember utterly not getting Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or any Ang Lee film for that matter. 

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48 minutes ago, McFly said:

I tried to watch Blood Sport tje other week and ot was so awful. The fight scenes were embarrassing, garbage technique, when some was even shown. Utterly awful.

 

I remember utterly not getting Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or any Ang Lee film for that matter. 

I was a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge fan of No Retreat No Surrender when I was a kid and bought it on DVD about 10 years ago. The disc was still spinning when it left the house soon after. Gutted. Fights were still good though.

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I agree with what some others have said: you can't properly hate something unless you loved it before (and by 'it' I mean 'the franchise'), so that's why the Prequels and the Matrix sequels get such a hard time. They are much more hateful than the baffling, head-scratching awfulness of Ishtar, for example, or the saggy, never-endingly dull Cloud Atlas. I'd far rather watch Jaws: The Revenge than either of those, as it's pretty much never bland, even when it's shockingly shit. Prometheus was like someone walking through a room full of delicate precious objects and smashing them to pieces with a bat.

 

That said, the one film that comes to mind as the worst I ever watched is Out 1: Spectre. I've watched a lot of 'arty' films that many would describe as pretentious bollocks, and enjoyed many of them, but I got nothing from this. Amazingly, this four hour trudge through amdram bullshit is the short version, with the original cut (Out 1) lasting a mind-altering THIRTEEN HOURS. There's a very good short vid on YT (shot to promote a rare screening in London) that even starts by taking the piss out of its duration and stuff.

 

 

If you look up director Jacques Rivette on Wikipedia, he's naked as he's wearing his new clothes. Yep, it's one of those films that pseudo-intellectuals who have a lot of money and a vague sense of ennui like to watch: it massages their egos by saying being an effete Parisian is the height of sophistication; that being an actor is incredibly important; that obscure references to literature are crucial to understanding the world; that a play within a play is not elitest bumholery but challenging and worthy. They can then go off and make believe it has a depth you just weren't intellectual enough to comprehend.

 

It's also ugly to look at, which is criminal when you're stuck in front of it for what feels like decades. At least arch clod-meister Bela Tarr  makes his epics visually interesting - I enjoyed the 7-hour Sátántangó about a million times more than O1:S.

 

On a different note, despite thinking Badlands and Days of Heaven are complete masterworks, I've found Terry Malick's 'resurgence' to be pretty iffy, being fairly inconsequential but still gorgeous with Thin Red Line and The New World, reasonably pointless with The Tree of Life, then becoming almost self-parodic after that. I know that won't go down well, so I'll end with something we can all agree on: Movie 43

 

 

 

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