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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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You should assign Torrent, Spirit Summons, and items like the Mixed-Flask (which you normally use once before fog doors) to your Pouch. 

 

Its so quick & easy it becomes second-nature, and it stops them clogging up your item bar.

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First time I’ve just turned the game off because I’m struggling. Just hit wall after wall tonight… I think I’ve been relying on summoning too much and I think I’m beginning to hit my skill ceiling. 

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when you end up lost somewhere...find a boss...kill it...to get...

 

image.png.6af1b94d89d6e89a157d0d30634d08f0.png

0.8% of players...

 

most likely, as you can utterly miss the location!?!

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2 hours ago, Qazimod said:

 

I've been playing for about two hours more and you're nearly twice my level. 😢

 

2 hours ago, Jamie John said:

 

Someone's been grinding! Where's your rune farm, stranger? :eyebrows:

not grinding...just,..head north! and , look on your map, and do all the mines/catacombs! this is very important!!!!

 

i didnt realise i was a good 20 levels higher than fucking @Curtis!?!! thats mad lol

32 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

Carian Study Hall question:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Just fought my way to the rafters. Preceptor Miriam was pretty tasty! Got her in the end.

 

Anyway, is there a way to make the spiral staircase drop? I'm guessing I need to put something on the pedestal where I first came in? Haven't been to Raya Lucaria yet so I guess I have to go there first.

 

no, its a ...quest...an obtuse one at that...but...its good! ...so good!

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28 minutes ago, Kzo said:

Jesus these hands at Caria Manor...


By far the most horrifying thing I’ve seen in a game for years. If you watch the little ones from a distance they itch one of their too-fucking-many fingers with another one. It’s proper boke. 😄

 

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1 minute ago, jonamok said:


By far the most horrifying thing I’ve seen in a game for years. If you watch the little ones from a distance they itch one of their too-fucking-many fingers with another one. It’s proper boke. 😄

 

Nightmare fuel. 

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Enjoying it so far, better than DS2 anyway. The graphics look absolutely atrocious at times and nice at others. Music is mostly utter shite too. 
 

Anyway, was in the pub with a friend today who has started playing it and he was just flummoxed by the systems in play and just the general terminology used. It’s annoying really because this game deliberately makes it so difficult for new souls players to get into it. Proper gatekeeping going on. Maybe we don’t know having played previous games, but coming into it fresh must be frustrating. 
 

Why not just call it a health flask and a magic flask rather than crimson tears and whatever the other one is? All other games do this so there is no need to be weird and special.  Why not just say you have tokens to spend rather than runes and also explain they are received after you kill someone. There should be a pop up that says 100 runes received or whatever. Why are important weapon attributes hidden within tiny text in sub menus and not clear to users? You shouldn’t have to watch YouTube videos to fully understand what you are playing.
 

I get some people think that’s the fun. 

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1 minute ago, ChewMagma said:

The Starscourge fight is starting to sour me on this a little tbh. I know there are always roadblocks in these games but this one is very tedious.

Go elsewhere, anywhere. Trust me.

 

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9 minutes ago, the_debaser said:

Music is mostly utter shite too. 

 

This can fuck of, but otherwise fair points. :P

 

I must have spent a solid five minutes scrolling around trying to find somewhere that explained the status symbols, but nothing. I'm certain DS1/2 just straight up listed them in the stat screen?

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29 minutes ago, the_debaser said:

Enjoying it so far, better than DS2 anyway. The graphics look absolutely atrocious at times and nice at others. Music is mostly utter shite too. 
 

Anyway, was in the pub with a friend today who has started playing it and he was just flummoxed by the systems in play and just the general terminology used. It’s annoying really because this game deliberately makes it so difficult for new souls players to get into it. Proper gatekeeping going on. Maybe we don’t know having played previous games, but coming into it fresh must be frustrating. 
 

Why not just call it a health flask and a magic flask rather than crimson tears and whatever the other one is? All other games do this so there is no need to be weird and special.  Why not just say you have tokens to spend rather than runes and also explain they are received after you kill someone. There should be a pop up that says 100 runes received or whatever. Why are important weapon attributes hidden within tiny text in sub menus and not clear to users? You shouldn’t have to watch YouTube videos to fully understand what you are playing.
 

I get some people think that’s the fun. 

I don’t think calling it a flask of crimson tears is really a problem, or any of the things that it does differently, that’s part of the charm. I think the actual issue is how little effort it puts into making these differences clear. The tutorials pop up but don’t really make sense at the time as they’re framed within the more of the game rather than being a key to it, so it should clearly say “drink crimson tears and live longer”. 

I’m really into adventuring around now and having that element of the unknown does add to it, but there needs to be a key when needed. 


disagree on the graphics though, Individual parts may look rubbish but the overall ascetic is great. 

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33 minutes ago, the_debaser said:

Enjoying it so far, better than DS2 anyway. The graphics look absolutely atrocious at times and nice at others. Music is mostly utter shite too. 
 

Anyway, was in the pub with a friend today who has started playing it and he was just flummoxed by the systems in play and just the general terminology used. It’s annoying really because this game deliberately makes it so difficult for new souls players to get into it. Proper gatekeeping going on. Maybe we don’t know having played previous games, but coming into it fresh must be frustrating. 
 

Why not just call it a health flask and a magic flask rather than crimson tears and whatever the other one is? All other games do this so there is no need to be weird and special.  Why not just say you have tokens to spend rather than runes and also explain they are received after you kill someone. There should be a pop up that says 100 runes received or whatever. Why are important weapon attributes hidden within tiny text in sub menus and not clear to users? You shouldn’t have to watch YouTube videos to fully understand what you are playing.
 

I get some people think that’s the fun. 

I'll bite. No it's not it's quite simple and clearly explained to you in the game if you do the tutorial dungeon. 

 

I love this game and suck at souls game normally. 

 

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37 minutes ago, ChewMagma said:

The Starscourge fight is starting to sour me on this a little tbh. I know there are always roadblocks in these games but this one is very tedious.

 

Yeah that was my road block so I went to continue north of the lakes a bit and I'm feeling much better about the game again

 

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4 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

Is there a way to get a job lot of small beast bones in one go? I'm getting fed up of culling sheep and giant squirrels every time I want to make some poison arrows.

There is. Want me to spoiler how?

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7 minutes ago, cassidy said:

I'll bite. No it's not it's quite simple and clearly explained to you in the game if you do the tutorial dungeon. 

 

I love this game and suck at souls game normally. 

 


The tutorial dungeon is like within the first 20 mins, explains about 1% of what’s going on then is never seen again one you enter Limgrave. A refresher area would be nice an hour or two in. 

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1 minute ago, Jamie John said:

 

Yes please!

Spoiler

Warmaster Shack. Night. Might need to rest til night a few times over and over as doesn't happen everytime. Visit the NPC there. You'll know when. Win and you get a thing to give to someone.

 

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Re. status icons in the HUD:

 

Not sure they've ever explained the meanings in game. It seems like there are more possibilities in this though, so the omission is even worse. I'm fine with the mystery and obtuseness over most other things, but not allowing you to see where buffs and debuffs are originating seems very unnecessary. There's a difference between letting players figure things out for themselves and basic, recurring QOL issues.

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6 hours ago, Qazimod said:

I beat the MWM

 

  Hide contents

(Magma Wyrm)

 

boss in the caves. :D Not too tricky, and pretty similar to things in older From games.

 

Also, I'm at a point where the Physick flask with the Strength Crystal Tear thing gives me enough strength to wield this "Colossal Sword" I have... if only occasionally.

 

I think I might have had two of these? But I thought it was an absolute bag of dicks the second time in 

 

Spoiler

Gael Tunnel

 

Small area, huge AOE attacks that left some of the floor burning, weird and large hitboxes especially when moving, a few sweeping and follow up attacks, poise wrecker and could take out the doggo gank squad ridiculously quickly.

 

Eventually got enough of the pattern down to take him out with the Jellyfish who was a bit more robust but got greedy at the end and traded deaths and thus lost all the souls I'd have got. Had a bout 3 flasks left too 

 

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