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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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Tonight, on my first go (of the evening, having been smashed a thousand times before), I beat Margit. Full of confidence, piss and vinegar, I strolled down to and smashed Agheel to bits too. I’m the man. Well, I was. I walked into Stormveil and got bent over. No lube. Dead as a door nail.

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Just now, squirtle said:

Ok. Magit the Fuck is consistently handing me my arse. What the fuck am I doing wrong? I'm barely doing any damage to him.

 


ignore him for a while and go explore and level up…

 

then use summons before going in to fight 

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6 minutes ago, scottcr said:


ignore him for a while and go explore and level up…

 

then use summons before going in to fight 

I've explored and leveled up. I killed that red phantom at the round table, cleared out a small castle with a blood sword Knight and been most other places I can see. 

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29 minutes ago, Kryptonian said:

Here’s an article about some designers complaining that Elden Ring has been successful despite not ticking all the stereotypical boxes:

 

https://news.knowyourmeme.com/news/ubisoft-and-guerrilla-developers-ratiod-into-going-private-after-complaining-that-elden-ring-is-so-beloved?fbclid=IwAR1rfxorHvfg6MRF7Vxh1mJhlBpvsa5GuDcRJjcpP6BTWs-d4rx82A2bvmM

 

so much for congratulating their peers :) 


This kind of hubris short-sightedness makes my blood boil. I’ve seen the arrogance first hand at game studios were some people just can’t see past their ways. 
 

I’m glad it’s so revered and successful, and it’s not even that far removed from the prior Souls games that have been out for years! 

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I literally despise this game.  I'm actually furiously angry that I've wasted my time today trying to play it. I feel like I've just been put through a psychological experiment to see how angry something can make me.... bit of a wow moment tbh.

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2 hours ago, Mike S said:

 

How can you be sure you haven't missed any (NPCS) though?

 

 

 

Last night I found two NPCs just chilling at an old grace site I hadn't been to for like 20 hours, so definitely recommend to folks to revisit 'old' areas just in case someone's turned up!

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8 minutes ago, tenrou said:

I literally despise this game.  I'm actually furiously angry that I've wasted my time today trying to play it. I feel like I've just been put through a psychological experiment to see how angry something can make me.... bit of a wow moment tbh.


Sell it. Refund it. Don’t stress yourself out over it. 

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Just been doing a catacomb and it honestly felt like survival horror I was so bloody on edge, and the atmosphere was just brooding, 

 

I really enjoy the design of these catacombs actually, I’ve done a few now and despite me not knowing which order to do them in, because there isn’t any, they definitely seem to be getting more complex, or devious. They’re just nice diversions you can take on and enjoy in easily digestible chunks. 
 

And they are just there embedded in this wonderful world which already has tonnes to offer. It’s frankly bonkers how good this game is, like that needs saying any more. 
 

I remember playing Breath of The Wild and just knowing it was the greatest game I’d ever played, and the more I played it the more it reinforced those feelings, and this is the same, maybe more so. 
 

It’s quite possible that Elden Ring is the greatest game ever made, and I’ve barely even scratched the surface with it. 

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6 hours ago, John0 said:

I was watching Day[9] try Margit over and over again last night, and I felt like it was a gratifying to see someone else struggle as I think my first attempts were better than his. BUT he stayed very calm and analytical - always trying to look closely at where he was getting hit and how to avoid it - and looking for new openings to get hits in - trying different positioning. The vod is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkSfM2kN5Pc and it takes him about an hour. He is rarely getting it below half health first but just doesn't let that phase him. I'd have been getting annoyed at how impossible it was wayyy before that! Or even if I manage to keep emotions in check, I definitely didn't think around the issues as well as this, for Margit at least.

 

I thought it was a really, really instructive example of how to approach Souls bosses, and I can see now why it's a much better "tutorial" boss than I gave it credit for. Really recommend the whole first hour if you have the time and/or you're struggling with the early bosses.

 

Same, in my case watching CohhCarnage, who was uncommonly fucked off with the whole thing to the point of wanting to apologise the following day! When he did go back and get the win it was with a fair bit more stagger chance, which I think is what my greatsword lacks. 

 

Instead I have been clearing the entire south axis of the weeping peninsula, and got the boss on the 2nd attempt. Dunno what to do with that letter though.

Will be clearing the western section across the ropebridge tomorrow.

 

Spoiler

Also, got attacked by a certain black horseman again, lost and he disappeared again. I assume he is like a Pursuer type boss who just turns up?

 

I did have one hard crash where the screen froze and eventually dumped me to desktop, but thankfully after loading it reset me back to where I was 30 seconds previously. Only other time that happened was prompted by Torrent bugging out, shooting out from under me like a rocket, and leaving me hanging in the air til I died!

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24 minutes ago, squirtle said:

I've explored and leveled up. I killed that red phantom at the round table, cleared out a small castle with a blood sword Knight and been most other places I can see. 


would definitely recommend summoning 

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1 hour ago, Kryptonian said:

Here’s an article about some designers complaining that Elden Ring has been successful despite not ticking all the stereotypical boxes:

 

https://news.knowyourmeme.com/news/ubisoft-and-guerrilla-developers-ratiod-into-going-private-after-complaining-that-elden-ring-is-so-beloved?fbclid=IwAR1rfxorHvfg6MRF7Vxh1mJhlBpvsa5GuDcRJjcpP6BTWs-d4rx82A2bvmM

 

so much for congratulating their peers :) 

Lollll.  That Salama character needs to give his head a good shake as to what really constitutes ‘good UX’.

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32 minutes ago, squirtle said:

I've explored and leveled up. I killed that red phantom at the round table, cleared out a small castle with a blood sword Knight and been most other places I can see. 

Try going places you can't see...use the map to follow paths. 

 

I'm about 25 hours in with +4 sword and not beat him yet but I can feel it coming...

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Now doing Altus -

Spoiler

After doing a bit of exploring, I gallnoped past a lightning-spewing dragon, did a ruin and a cave, then got transported to the Volcano Manor!  Transitioned into this rampart-type place with some tough enemies, noped out, and am now getting serious Resi 4 vibes from a beige/brown, woodhut-and-windmills coven village!  Awesome stuff.

About 55 hours now, lv58 I think.  I must slow down - I think I’m now over the halfway mark, but don’t want this to end.

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I'm very glass cannon now. Between my strength and upgrade Zweihander, I'm wrecking everything including bosses but I've only put a single point into bit and am getting occasionally one shotted.

 

Dark Souls compensated for this by allowing armour upgrades, but none here and struggling to find relay good armour sets.

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Story question

 

Spoiler

Stormveil castle has massive gouges out of it. Must be from the absolutely enormous dragon up at the north of the map. I got teleported there by a chest.

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Anne Summers said:

Anyone around to stick a summon sign and give me a hand with the tournament Radahn guy? Been hacking away at him all night and getting nowhere, and no summons showing up. 

I'm using the rllmuk password. 

 

On my way, although I'm not sure summons make that one any easier in truth...

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31 minutes ago, Triple A said:

Lollll.  That Salama character needs to give his head a good shake as to what really constitutes ‘good UX’.

Also it's not like ER is really doing anything that Dark Souls wasn't doing 10 years ago in this respect. It's like these "game developers" basically just haven't played the most important series of video games to come out in the last decade, if they're only just getting salty about this now. 

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Just now, Anne Summers said:

What's your character name? (I'm Jim)

 

Sorry, there was an unexpected reason for not making it yet which would be a spoiler. This game :lol:

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