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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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Say what you want about games like Resident Evil but I’ve never had a better experience of ‘Survival Horror’ as wandering around some of the areas in this game. I’m just in Caria Manor and it’s absolutely terrifying!

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36 minutes ago, Minion said:

 

Mine has served me well so far, the katanas are great, dual welding even better! Having the Uchi in the offhand and the Naga-whatever it's called as the main is like the dual katana weapon from DS3 and you can proc bleed on a lot of bosses and enemies. I'm also going to experiment with the twin pole type weapons as I believe they're new to the series. Definitely going to use big weapons next character thought probably with faith. 
 

 

 

163! 

 

im 122 in the mountaintop and no idea what to level. At 80 int so anything else is feeling like incremental padding.

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On 04/03/2022 at 00:35, Jamie John said:

Weeping Peninsula question:

 

  Hide contents

Is there an obvious way to free the statue-headed woman in the basement in the Witch Bane ruins? The one who is tied up against the wall by crystals? I've exhausted her dialogue and thought attacking her restraints might break her free, but nothing happens.

 

I've killed the walking mausoleum nearby but not gone back.

 

Excellent session again tonight exploring this whole new area. Tomorrow I'm off to Morne!

 

What. A. GAME.


I’m not sure if this has been discussed in the (checks…) intervening 57 pages since you posted this, but I was playing yesterday and:

 

Spoiler

Have you noticed she looks exactly the same as the other woman who teaches you magic in the basement of the ruins on the east bank of the small lake in the opening area with a dragon in it? Sorry for the naff description - she was supposedly banished from the academy. 
 

This is a From game, so there’s no way that can be a coincidence. I’m wondering if the one who teaches you magic is an impostor, and the one bound up is the real one? But if so, how to unmask the impostor? 
 

One thing’s for sure - I’ve got a boot of magic speeds I can give to her, and I’m not doing it until I find out more, one way or the other!

 

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13 hours ago, Dirty Harry Potter said:

So I’ve managed to get hold of “the sword of night and flame”.  And have the required intelligence and faith levels - but it’s not doing any of the magic stuff.

 

I’m vanguard and thought that once I had the required stats I would be able to weld all the magic stuff.


Super rubbish if I can’t. Anyone know why it’s not doing its thing?

 

You know the magic stuff is on the skills right? You hold L2 to enter the stance then it's R1 for the sorcery beam and R2 for the fire AOE.

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22 minutes ago, Popo said:


I’m not sure if this has been discussed in the (checks…) intervening 57 pages since you posted this, but I was playing yesterday and:

 

  Hide contents

Have you noticed she looks exactly the same as the other woman who teaches you magic in the basement of the ruins on the east bank of the small lake in the opening area with a dragon in it? Sorry for the naff description - she was supposedly banished from the academy. 
 

This is a From game, so there’s no way that can be a coincidence. I’m wondering if the one who teaches you magic is an impostor, and the one bound up is the real one? But if so, how to unmask the impostor? 
 

One thing’s for sure - I’ve got a boot of magic speeds I can give to her, and I’m not doing it until I find out more, one way or the other!

 


It’s a whole questline that resolves it. 

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@Popo - I don't think I've discovered that particular NPC, despite exploring Limgrave for what must be 25 hours! I'll have to take another look.

 

Re the one on the peninsula I originally mentioned:

 

Spoiler

The basement where she is being kept is guarded by a massive stone mage head with lots of faces on it; you find a very similar one that's already dead in Raya Lucaria surrounded by crystals, near the Church of the Cuckoo (who are those marionette knights that the Raya sorcerers are controlling). In front of this head there is a fancy staff and the item description says something about its owner getting deep into crystal-based magic. Elsewhere in the academy you find a crystal magic spell in a hidden room whose description says this sort of magic was banned by the academy. The woman on the peninsula is bound to the wall by the same sorts of crystals that are in RL.

 

Anyway, I don't really know what all of that means yet, but I get the impression that the woman on the peninsula has been imprisoned there by the academicians and is being kept guarded by the Cuckoo knights, maybe because she was practising crystal magic.

 

I'm going to go back to her once I've done RL and see if that makes a difference.

 

Separately, I haven't seen the blind maiden in a while, and I've got some lovely squishy eyeballs that might tickle her fancy. The last time was on the eastern shore of Liurnia. Hope she's ok. There were lots of giant maiden-eating 

Spoiler

Lobsters

nearby :unsure:

 

Talking of those, I met the prawn guy last night. His voice acting is great. First time I think I've heard the phrase 

Spoiler

'gone tits up'

in a video game before :lol:. The localisation in this is excellent.

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23 minutes ago, Popo said:

:lol:
 

The dialogue is brilliant. One of those games where I hope non-English speakers get to play with subtitles, like we do with Yakuza games. 

 

As well as that, if you talk to him before finding the 

Spoiler

Distinctly inbred-looking volcano manor girl

down the way, he basically tells

Spoiler

you to fuck off and asks if you want to "start somethin'?" and that he'd "crack" me "in 'alf", which I thought was pretty rich seeing as he's some random prawn boiler and I was standing there with a +15 levelled greatsword, ha.

 

Saying that, you probably have to be as hard as nails to fish for prawns in that particular lake...

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3 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

 

As well as that, if you talk to him before finding the 

  Hide contents

Distinctively inbred-looking volcano manor girl

down the way, he basically tells

  Hide contents

you to fuck off and asks if you want to "start somethin'?" and that he'd "crack" me "in 'alf", which I thought was pretty rich seeing as he's some random prawn boiler and I was standing there with a +15 levelled greatsword, ha.

 

Saying that, you probably have to be as hard as nails to fish for prawns in that particular lake...


what do you expect when the prawns look like this? 
 

Spoiler

5257885B-6D5B-491B-A91B-0BE4BFE7ADB6.jpeg.f8879da8ccbad45f64b60fe2753270b4.jpeg

 

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Did my first big session on this last night. 3 hours just mooching about, getting my bearings.

 

Got to a big gate fairly near the entrance but as tradition dictates, I went the complete opposite direction to the one the game told me to go. Might have something to do with not being able to beat the giant hairy dude beyond the gate but whatever. 

 

Ended up killing a 

Spoiler

Giant crab 


Messed myself when the 

Spoiler

Dragon came flying out of the swampy bit


Run away!!!

 

Decided to get to the southern tip of the map. Turns out it is not the southern tip at all. Fucking thing goes on for miles!

 

Turned around and levelled up about 10 points. Ready to take on the hairy giant dude. Was distracted by a stone circle and what was clearly a boss summon. Was some teleporting dickhead called

 

Spoiler

Bloodhound Knight Darriwil

 

After about 10 attempts getting no more than a quarter of his health, I decided to call it a night, I was clearly under-levelled. One more try, this time I’ll ditch the shield and try the two-handed special move. Spanked the cunt into next week without using a single flask. 
 

Spoiler

 


This is going to be good. 
 

One question, I saw that there was a rllmuk community password. If I set that does it mean I only see other mukkers spirits in the game? 

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7 minutes ago, JPL said:

Witch Bane Ruins? I thought I’d cleared everything on the Weeping Peninsula, but I’ve never even heard of this place!

 

It's just to the 

Spoiler

West of the big field where you find the walking mausoleum, IIRC. It looks like ruins surrounded by a poison bog, but there's a basement there. I think it's the only place in the area where you find the marionette enemies.

 

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Just now, KartoffelKopf said:

One question, I saw that there was a rllmuk community password. If I set that does it mean I only see other mukkers spirits in the game? 

 

It prioritises mukkers, but you still see other randomers' spirits, messages and bloodstains.

 

Mukker spirits will have a golden hue. Always great when you happen to run into one in the wild!

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On 04/03/2022 at 13:37, Thor said:

Actually, I have to wonder, if I defeat the Crucible Knight in the Evergaol*, will that stop him from appearing in Caelid?

 

*Things I learned thanks to this game: Evergaol is pronounced Ever Jail. It turns out gaol is the very ye olde english way of spelling jail. :)


It never occurred to me that others didn’t know this, and therefor have missed the point of what those circles are supposed to be - prisons for wrong’uns!

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Went down the well last night after finding it a while ago (didn't read the name and click it was the well - doh) Thought I'd reached the exit after a brief item run. I was quite wrong. I need to go back to find one more thing which I suspect will activate something I looked at last night.

 

The scope of this game is amazing and must be quite a downer for any devs who are developing anything open world/RPG at the moment. The game has changed.

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I'm eating toast for breakfast this morning with some definite Elden Ring energy, I think:

 

PXL_20220312_091750184.thumb.jpg.6ab4368edfd7b3b52876b323064f243f.jpg

 

I'm hoping those Ancient Grains will provide me with the stamina boost I need after staying up too late playing this 🤓

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2 minutes ago, joemul said:

After over 50+ hours And thinking I’d seen all the opening area had to offer I managed to stumble across someone called Boc last night. 
 

brilliant. 

 


I found him last night in my first hour of play, purely by accident. A very helpful message nearby ensured I actually saw him. Thought it was one of the sheep

talking at first. I made a note as to why he’s there too. 

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6 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

 

It's just to the 

  Hide contents

West of the big field where you find the walking mausoleum, IIRC. It looks like ruins surrounded by a poison bog, but there's a basement there. I think it's the only place in the area where you find the marionette enemies.

 

Mad that I’ve never found this place. I’ve been all over there!

 

Which reminds me, I was over near the starting area yesterday, around where you can look over to the Weeping Peninsula, and I spotted a cave along the cliff edge. I went over for a look and ended up finding the Runebear waiting for me at the bottom!

 

There’s also one of those candelabras above the cave, but I couldn’t activate it for some reason. Does it have to be night, or is there something else I’m missing?

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1 minute ago, JPL said:

There’s also one of those candelabras above the cave, but I couldn’t activate it for some reason. Does it have to be night, or is there something else I’m missing?

 

The candelabras lead you to 

Spoiler

A hard-to-find area, like a cave (probably the one with the rune bear in that you mentioned); if you've found the place they lead you to already then they won't activate. I think it does need to be night for them to work, but I'm not sure.

 

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2 minutes ago, KartoffelKopf said:


I found him last night in my first hour of play, purely by accident. A very helpful message nearby ensured I actually saw him. Thought it was one of the sheep

talking at first. I made a note as to why he’s there too. 

 

Whereabouts is he?!

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Just done a brilliant section through a cave/mine section up near the massive lift. Haven’t beaten the boss up there yet but he’s on my list for later.

 

Like others I keep doing a “chill run” around areas I think I’ve rinsed and finding new things. It’s madness. 
 

Anyway, I’m preparing myself for more rage by trying again to beat CK, with my new improved dexterity and moon sword thing build. Fingers crossed but so far dexterity suits me a lot more than strength. 
 

Also, where might I find another good sword to go with this moon sword thing?

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2 minutes ago, spanx said:

Just done a brilliant section through a cave/mine section up near the massive lift. Haven’t beaten the boss up there yet but he’s on my list for later.

 

Like others I keep doing a “chill run” around areas I think I’ve rinsed and finding new things. It’s madness. 
 

Anyway, I’m preparing myself for more rage by trying again to beat CK, with my new improved dexterity and moon sword thing build. Fingers crossed but so far dexterity suits me a lot more than strength. 
 

Also, where might I find another good sword to go with this moon sword thing?

 

I found the claymore to go well with a katana, just infuse it as keen with some ashes but check the scaling as I don't know your stats. Some enemies are resistance slash and or pierce damage, for those ones smacking them with claymore will work. 

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7 minutes ago, Davros sock drawer said:

What I really need though is a Smithing Stone Merchant! Must be one somewhere! 

 

Hint if you want:

 

Spoiler

Have a search in a cave to the north-east of Liurnia lake. You won't find a merchant, but...

 

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Smithing stones are pretty rare to come by so choose wisely which weapons you upgrade. And mines are the source, in the later levels the bosses in mines generally drop a bell bearing you can give to the twin maidens to unlock certain infite purchases of stones. Mines have a distinctive look on the map. 

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32 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

 

Whereabouts is he?!


 

Spoiler

Not far from the first camp near Stormgate, to the left of the path away from Stormgate near one of the horse enemy dudes. You can’t see him, he just starts talking to you. You have to do something to make him appear. Look for some trees. 👍

 

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16 minutes ago, Minion said:

Smithing stones are pretty rare to come by so choose wisely which weapons you upgrade. And mines are the source, in the later levels the bosses in mines generally drop a bell bearing you can give to the twin maidens to unlock certain infite purchases of stones. Mines have a distinctive look on the map. 


Early Smithing stones are not rare, especially not later on when you can just buy them, so experiment if you can until you find something you like. 


 

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This really is genre defining stuff.

 

I have lost count of the amount of times I turn a corner or scale a hill or exit a cave to be met by a stunning vista, ripe with promise.

 

It just keeps going. The quality never ends. The world design is absolutely meticulous. And yet also open to sequence breaking and player driven solutions.

 

I'm maybe a hundred hours in and I've only experienced, so far, one or two instances of straight up Souls style bullshit, but they were so obviously intentionally supposed to make you rage I loved it. :lol:

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