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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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4 hours ago, df0 said:

Ah right I know who it is. MtBB. Need a (magic) hand? Not sure if I am too high by now as a level 130.

Free tip that saved me from the RED stuff: summon a good sturdy Ash (I used the Mimic) as a distraction and abuse the pillars. Not all attacks are blocked (some go through it because of course) but it can help a lot. Also, use all of the HP and DEF talisman you have. Stack that shit up :)

 

As for what weapon to use, I don't know. I wield a staff that chucks plasma from a distance.

Ha, my character is actually level 153 now and I have the mimic at +10. I just tried pumping three levels into arcane so I could try the scarlet rot dragon power, which then failed to help because it's so slow... (crap, I just realised I could've stuck the silver tear helmet on to try it) My talismans are;

Spoiler

Radagon's Soreseal

Dragoncrest Greatshield

Great Jar's Arsenal

Starscourge Heirloom

I'm using a +25 broadsword, so I should probably have something that hits harder, but being even slower doesn't sound great? His first phase is easy, it's just in the second he's so hyper and bounces around. He murders me in under a minute with his bullshit AOE and projectile magic. I've got 34 Faith which is doing absolutely nothing because I haven't come across any incantations that impress me, but maybe that's because I haven't upgraded any seals yet. Oops.

 

@Qazimod Yeah, I have that one, I don't think it's much cop for a boss fight tbh, it's waaay too slow. I'm really not living that long atm.

 

Did anyone else get the bug with the Revenger's Shack? Sucks.

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Hmm, I think I have a regen incantation that could counter the red stuff, but it's probably better not to get infected in the first place. I haven't upgraded shields either. I was hoping to be buff enough for that fingerprint shield, which I think is the best in the game? Maybe I should upgrade that and go in naked so I'm not fat rolling, just to see how it handles. :D I'll probably try summoning eventually, maybe after putting my sign down a few times first.

9 minutes ago, Triple A said:

Yeah me, not impressed but I guess they know about it and will fix 

Hopefully. It's funny to think that day one the bloodstains didn't even work.

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Entering Lliurnia of the Lakes and I thought this may be the end of my journey, everything felt out of my league, I was leaving every boss I came across and suddenly - I don't know how or why but things just clicked and I hadn't really leveled up much but I put a few points into HP and had cleared something like 6 bosses in a single sitting. Yeah, I customized my gear for certain ones and came up with a few new strategies but overall I mostly just Wolverined through everything. Now I'm next to the Capitol and things feel just right.

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9 hours ago, Padaxes said:

Just found out (via fextralife) that I can dual weild great swords and double smash everything. It's so satisfying I am ditching my shield. 

I may regret this decision later. 

 

I'm dual welding Colossal Swords. I find it hilarious that this doesn't have the stopping power required for a number of enemies. I sort of feel if that can't stagger a normal dude who is apparently wearing no armour, STR builds are a little bit broken.

 

Fortunately I've discovered Lion's Claw weapon art can stagger most things, including Crucible Knights, which makes then substantially less of a ballache.

 

Anyway, progressed Rabbi's quest a good bit and am now in a whole new underground area. Just why, From.

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I think my favourite bit about the radahn fight... 

 

Spoiler

Was summoning Patches, only for him to nope out after a few moments.. 

 

😂 Classic him. 

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After killing the boss in Shady Castle I decided to head back to Caria Manor after noping out of it previously. 
 

Spoiler

I stalked through the gate and spotted three hands up ahead. Shot them from a distance with my bow & was pleased to see them go down in 3-4 hits. I assumed I was over levelled. 
 

walked forward a bit and two big motherfuccas dropped down next to me. I’d stupidly thought the ones I’d killed where the bigger ones. 
 

I absolutely shat meself, fled outside and ended up having to kill them AND deal with the magic rays falling from the sky. Absolute nightmare. 
 

decided to leave it there and shall explore properly tomorrow. 

 

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57 minutes ago, joemul said:

After killing the boss in Shady Castle I decided to head back to Caria Manor after noping out of it previously. 
 

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I stalked through the gate and spotted three hands up ahead. Shot them from a distance with my bow & was pleased to see them go down in 3-4 hits. I assumed I was over levelled. 
 

walked forward a bit and two big motherfuccas dropped down next to me. I’d stupidly thought the ones I’d killed where the bigger ones. 

 


 

816167F7-BE61-4FE8-BC3F-08515F36F67D.jpeg

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Oh shit Boc

 

Spoiler

Found him for the first time today while retracing my steps a bit, then bumped into him again while retracing to Layndel.

 

The poor pathetic thing. I gave him

 

Spoiler

A larval tear and

 

Spoiler

I'm such an idiot.

 

Spoiler

I should have remembered the description...

 

 

 

 

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Found a larval tear, so I changed my stats for a sixth time to try to deal with the final boss. Searched all my armour for the best holy defence, got the talisman that adds to it, upgraded the sword of night and flame to +10, grinded out 15 levels to add to VIT. I’m now doing the first phase without getting hit and mimic still has 50% health when I get through it. I seem to have fucked the quest that lets you get the prawn summon but I’m doing good damage with the sword beam. Net result is that I got the final boss down to about 25% health once. In an hour of attempts. It’s just so long and boring. 
 

Interestingly, I did another boss and summoned easily with no issue, so I guess it’s just the last one that’s so popular that I can’t get anyone. One thing I’ll give it is that I’ve now played around with DEX, bleed, strength, arcane, int and weapon arts builds. And tried out a lot of weapons, I’ve got 7 at max level now. I guess once I do it my next build will be faith, as that’s the only thing I haven’t tried now.

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Oh well. Killed Godfrey and Margott. Seem ridiculously balanced compared to those lightenKnight cunts below. 
 

Horrible man on horse and ulcer tree done tonight as well. Enjoyed it a lot more than last night, but I so wish there were more lore to uncover. Just notes or books. What’s the story with the big stone dorgan for example?

 

 

Edit: buh bye, Rykard. Fruitful night. 

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Game keeps crashing on the run down the Capitol road from the Avenue Balcony Grace towards the Lift of Rold. Same place. Can sometimes avoid it by not sprinting but not always. 7th time so far. 

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4 hours ago, Benny said:

Oh shit Boc

 

  Hide contents

Found him for the first time today while retracing my steps a bit, then bumped into him again while retracing to Layndel.

 

The poor pathetic thing. I gave him

 

  Hide contents

A larval tear and

 

  Hide contents

I'm such an idiot.

 

  Hide contents

I should have remembered the description...

 

 

 

 

I did that too.  Poor guy 

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Just did the foreskin duo, only took me three tries buy the reason I died was that I wasn’t aware that they would respawn, what a pair of utter bastards.

 

speaking og bastards, I can’t find a way to beat the Bale Shadow,  I gave up on him when I was level 90 ish, came back at level 140 and I found him even harder for some reason.

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20 hours ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

Whenever I get cocky and full of ideas about revenge and kicking ass like that, I almost always get taken out in a humiliating and pathetic fashion by a mosquito or couple of rats. Even the lowest tier of enemies can still ruin your day despite your super levelled loadout. There will always be something lurking off camera to bite or stagger you.


TORCH GUYS

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On 23/03/2022 at 10:27, Davros sock drawer said:

I'm hoping that I'll smash through Radahn when I eventually meet him, as I've done the entire Capital first. Left it last night at what is surely an optional boss, given the insanely tense and convoluted route to get to him:

 

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Mogh, the Omen

 

I've levelled up an absolute tonne doing this entire area, so I'm hoping I'm finally ready for Caelid...


I’d say the Capital is much harder than Caelid. 
 

Not sure what to focus on now. Finished off the Ranni quest and I’ve done every dungeon and mini boss south of the plateau. Pretty sure I haven’t missed anything.
 

I’ve been put into the Giants area but it’s a lorra lorra open space with nowt much direction than the big red you know what. 

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1 hour ago, Rayn said:

Just did the foreskin duo, only took me three tries buy the reason I died was that I wasn’t aware that they would respawn, what a pair of utter bastards.

 

speaking og bastards, I can’t find a way to beat the Bale Shadow,  I gave up on him when I was level 90 ish, came back at level 140 and I found him even harder for some reason.


Is that 

Spoiler

Blaidd?


If so, he gave me more trouble than Godfrey, Morgott and Ryker ffs. 
 

Beat course of action is to bait him to do the lunge slam attack, roll back, then a jump attack at the least. If you’re good, try and get behind him. Then back off again. Circle and rinse and repeat. 
 

It was long, because once he gets you in a chain you really can’t roll out of it. So have to be patient. Which is why I sucked for so long. 

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4 hours ago, NexivRed said:

 

Horrible man on horse and ulcer tree done tonight as well. Enjoyed it a lot more than last night, but I so wish there were more lore to uncover. Just notes or books. What’s the story with the big stone dorgan for example?


A lot of the lore is contained in the descriptions of the items you pick up. There’s also some to be gotten from NPC dialogue, those ghosts you find around, the groups of swords stick in the ground etc. plus observing where the items you found were placed. 
 

I’ve never been able to understand much of it, but that’s how the people who make the YouTube videos I watch about it seem to figure it out. 

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6 hours ago, Benny said:

Oh shit Boc

 

  Hide contents

Found him for the first time today while retracing my steps a bit, then bumped into him again while retracing to Layndel.

 

The poor pathetic thing. I gave him

 

  Hide contents

A larval tear and

 

  Hide contents

I'm such an idiot.

 

  Hide contents

I should have remembered the description...

 

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Triple A said:

I did that too.  Poor guy 


 

Spoiler

There are clues that that will happen, and what to do instead but, like all Souls games, they’re bloody hard to find :D

 

In rennala’s first phase all the “reborn” students are damaged and imperfect and can’t walk, suggesting that the rebirth process doesn’t work on anyone but you (because you have her great rune)

 

One of the little clay face things that you can use to “speak” in multiplayer says “you’re beautiful” and is found in the Demi human village of the albinaurics - the item description says something about it being a mother’s voice and Boc is always talking about his mother…

 

So, if you get him to the point where he’s asking for rebirth, use the “you’re beautiful” thing and he will realise that he is beautiful as he is and will survive. 

 

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Guys, where do I go? How do I get to the final boss? Where's that locked door with the roots? Apart from Melania everybody is dead, I'm ready to end this first run.

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@df0 playing this game

 

6EE5BD14-3196-4A3B-B941-F240835417B3.gif.13f21ad6a8a76b73a69475cea1fa65c4.gif

 

Hard to tell you where to go if we don’t know where you are. But if you’ve done everything:
 

Spoiler

Did Melina sacrifice herself to burn the tree?

 

Have you gone to crumbling Faram Azula and beaten maliketh?

 

If so, go back to the capital - it’s all fucked up now. Beat the bosses there to get back to the throne room and the last sequence of bosses  

 

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Yup.

Yes. (rinsed e everything apart from Melania. Sick and tired of her but I really do not wanna go through the hassle of getting to her AGAIN in NG+)

Been there as well, cleared (a) boss(es). I'll head back to the room.

 

edit: oowwww right. I went down to the sewers thinking the old place is completely gone 😑

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6 minutes ago, df0 said:

Yup.

Yes. (rinsed e everything)

Been there as well, cleared (a) boss(es). I'll head back to the room.


 

Spoiler

If you can port to the Elden throne grace point, you just run up the stairs in front of you at the back of the room, into the tree. 


For anyone struggling with the story/lore ( @NexivRed for eg) there are lore vids popping up already:

 

 

 

But as @Broker said, in very typical From Soft fashion, 90% of the lore is in item descriptions that you have to read and piece together (or watch a VaatiVidya or Ashen Hollow video on YouTube :D ) but there’s no guarantee you’ll understand it even then, as the stories of these games are always super confusing. I have no idea how the YouTube folks put it all together and make sense of it. 

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4 hours ago, Doctor Shark said:

 


 

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There are clues that that will happen, and what to do instead but, like all Souls games, they’re bloody hard to find :D

 

In rennala’s first phase all the “reborn” students are damaged and imperfect and can’t walk, suggesting that the rebirth process doesn’t work on anyone but you (because you have her great rune)

 

One of the little clay face things that you can use to “speak” in multiplayer says “you’re beautiful” and is found in the Demi human village of the albinaurics - the item description says something about it being a mother’s voice and Boc is always talking about his mother…

 

So, if you get him to the point where he’s asking for rebirth, use the “you’re beautiful” thing and he will realise that he is beautiful as he is and will survive. 

 

It really is bloody genius how they've woven lore, and singleplayer quest progression, into the functionality of an item that also improves the multiplayer comms and experience.

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8 minutes ago, Doctor Shark said:


 

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If you can port to the Elden throne grace point, you just run up the stairs in front of you at the back of the room, into the tree. 


For anyone struggling with the story/lore ( @NexivRed for eg) there are lore vids popping up already:

 

But as @Broker said, in very typical From Soft fashion, 90% of the lore is in item descriptions that you have to read and piece together (or watch a VaatiVidya or Ashen Hollow video on YouTube :D )

Yes, but also no. This is the one and only FROM game where I do not get the story. Not in the sense that's it's obtuse and mysterious, I genuinely do not know what's going on, what my goal is, what everyone's goal is, who even the antagonist is. Subjective, this is the worst story telling they've done. I understood the main gist of Demon's up to and including Sekiro, the stuff on the side added flavour to the world. Fantastic. Elden Ring lacks that narrative thrust.

 

edit: also, "You're beautiful" is the best thing. It's my go-to greeting for multiplayer. It's even better when the recipient does the "shy" emote.

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