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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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Taking a break for a week did me a lot of good with this. I was starting to get fatigued of it but even just a week away and I've come back loving it again. My sessions on it are shorter than before but we're talking about 'only' playing 3-4 hours at a time instead of 6-8 😅

 

Finished Volcano Manor yesterday. Well, I finished the dungeon, I still have some invader sidequests to do. It wasn't the best dungeon but considering it is entirely optional (I think) it was still pretty good/substantial. The best moment was just finding it in the first place.

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I love this game. Was having fun ambling round in Snowy land of happy freezing then decided to go back to Limgrave and butcher some deer to get some more twigs to make arrows with.

 

Spoiler

How the holy hells did I miss a giant fucking METEORITE landing and smashing a massive sinkhole? 😳 Into Nokron then. :facepalm:

 

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6 minutes ago, Kirby said:

I love this game. Was having fun ambling round in Snowy land of happy freezing then decided to go back to Limgrave and butcher some deer to get some more twigs to make arrows with.

 

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How the holy hells did I miss a giant fucking METEORITE landing and smashing a massive sinkhole? 😳 Into Nokron then. :facepalm:

 

 

Such a great moment, that.

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2 minutes ago, Ste Pickford said:

 

Such a great moment, that.

 

Just amazing.  How do you make something this engaging,  big and constantly surprising? If I could show the 12 year old me, who thought Star Raiders was incredible his head would explode.

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10 hours ago, Wiper said:

So, having shrugged off defeats, deaths by platforming, difficult boss fights, long meanders through dungeons into death with good humour; I finally found my rage quit point 45 hours in. 

 

Sodding Preceptor Miriam. Dealt with her without dying even once on first encounter — just raced past the normal enemies, diving through her attacks and wailing on her until she retreated, repeat until dead. But inverted Miriam, sitting in the middle with Annoying Hands and Spellthrowing Shield Fella can get to fuck. They absolutely demolish me, over and over. I thought I'd try ranged battle, but my crappy shortbow doesn't reach and I'm extremely not a caster. For the first time I'm tempted to respec just to deal with her, as melee just isn't a fun time here.

 

In the end I just turned off in anger and decided to relive my mid-teens and watch animated Souls instead.

 

Here's a tip I found by accident which helped a lot.

Spoiler

The hands are weak to fire. I had fire ashes on my Uchi and it wrecks the hands. I found it easiest after dropping down to below the inverted arch that she hangs about on, to lure the normal and spirit mobs down where you are out of line of sight of her arrows. Then you can jump up and fight her one on one.

 

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Where does the incantation seller at round table go off to? I’ve not bought any but was going to respect into Faith but he’s disappeared. 
 

I think there’s a heavy sword which scales with faith, so was thinking about using that. Am I right in thinking instead of Str/End/Vit, with faith, I will mainly need Faith/FP/Vit?

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That’s Moonveil no? That definitely scales with INT.

 

And yes, you just need a wee bit of STR to be able to wield it, the rest of the damage comes from my INT.

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39 minutes ago, HarryBizzle said:

Where does the incantation seller at round table go off to? I’ve not bought any but was going to respect into Faith but he’s disappeared. 

 

I don't know if he turns up again but I think you can buy all incantations from the pope turtle in the lake area. 

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In my game I told Brother Corhyn that

Spoiler

I saw Goldmask and he ran off to meet him. Goldmask was at the end of the broken bridge in the middle of the Altus Plateau. After that they both moved to the Capital and are stood to the east side of that huge colosseum place on the hill, that you can't enter, staring at the Erdtree. There was something I was meant to do to forward the questline, but I didn't have the INT so I missed out.

 

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Wasn’t happy that I’d run out of Elden Ring after finishing it yesterday, so I started NG+.
 

Rinsed Tree Sentinel, Margit, Godrick, Red Wolf of Radogan and Rennala in about 40 minutes 😂😂😂

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So after finishing it and seeing pretty much everything after 300 hours, I took a break yesterday and went outside, did a bit of cycling...

 

Ah shit... I'm gonna do some jolly high level co-op tonight, I can't stay away. I want to upgrade all my loot and play with various weapons and skills. Maybe see the other endings... It's in my brain and won't leave yet.

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3 hours ago, HarryBizzle said:

Where does the incantation seller at round table go off to? I’ve not bought any but was going to respect into Faith but he’s disappeared. 

 

If I remember right, he goes to

 

Spoiler

the Altus Plateau - he's near one of the things you pick up the map pieces from.

 

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Did they fuck up the last boss in the latest patch? In NG++ I can barely put a dent in, my Mimic+10 dies in the first round, Tiche+10 can barely survive round 1. Boss heals by not hitting me, how does that even work? Boss attacks, I dodge and am nowhere near the AoE slam, Tiche is nowhere near, boss gets like 10% HP back. Any Holy defence I have seems useless. On top of all that, most of my attacks are now deflected. Never even knew that was a thing.

 

I've no clue how I am going to do this. There's so much damage to deal with (good luck dodging everything), by the time round 2 starts I'm running low on flasks and HP.

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Fair enough. Everything (as in, the mandatory bosses) so far was an absolute cake walk. Died once to Fire Giant because I was a fool. Last boss behaves like I'm on NG+10.

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Completed Ranni's questline 

Spoiler

As far as getting the DMGS, anyway.

 

I've been trying to keep track of all the lore but unfortunately a lot of this stuff has just gone over my head. I get that she's 

Spoiler

Rebelling against the golden order, and I'm now her consort, but a lot of the nuance has been lost on me.

 

I was able to keep up with the story stuff for a while, but there's just too much here, really. Guess I'll just have to get stuck into the lore vids once I finish the game.

 

Anyway, not much left at ground level to do now, so I guess it's onwards and upwards.

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I watched lore videos and learnt nothing. The story is a needlessly convoluted mess that pretends it's mysterious and deep. Almost puts Kingdom Hearts to shame.

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Finally finished it! Had to respec a couple of times and tried different things. River of blood DEX did the trick in the end.

Really glad I made it through the experience, even if I didn't totally enjoy the ride.

Back to Yakuza 6 for me now!

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Fire cunt down 10th time!! Could have had him 5th onwards if I hadn’t made stupid mistakes. So frustrating. Took him out at level 111 so chuffed with that. Bleed did okay on him. Died to the fireballs he left whilst I was celebrating 😅

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Wondered how many runes he gave me. Saw it was none. Remembered I died. Was already part way up the chain to the cauldron. Carefully rode back saying “god, imagine if I died now”, whilst jumping over rocks to go get them and landing in a fucking crevasse. 
 

 

Also, I have died HALF the amount of times as I did to the giant, JUST trying to get up to and into the cauldron. So far. 
 

This is why I say I suck. 

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26 minutes ago, spanx said:

I hate this game today. Just can’t get past anything. 
 

Time for a break. 

 

Same here. Had another crack at that fire breathing Tree Sentinel guarding the capital and while I can take some nice chunks of health from him it's all over as soon as he starts casting that overpowered red lightning spell. Just had to turn the system off and walk away.

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42 minutes ago, NexivRed said:

Wondered how many runes he gave me. Saw it was none. Remembered I died. Was already part way up the chain to the cauldron. Carefully rode back saying “god, imagine if I died now”, whilst jumping over rocks to go get them and landing in a fucking crevasse. 
 

 

Also, I have died HALF the amount of times as I did to the giant, JUST trying to get up to and into the cauldron. So far. 
 

This is why I say I suck. 


😞

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1 hour ago, NexivRed said:

Fire cunt down 10th time!! Could have had him 5th onwards if I hadn’t made stupid mistakes. So frustrating. Took him out at level 111 so chuffed with that. Bleed did okay on him. Died to the fireballs he left whilst I was celebrating 😅

Don't get me started. Had a perfect go at him this morning. Stuck to his foot and smashed him till the cutscene. 

 

Got him down to so you could see the tiniest slither of health.  Prick did a fire attack and caught me just as my jumping dual wield was about to take him down. 

 

Having another couple of days off it. 

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Starting to get annoyed, I like this game least when its trying to be a platfformer or smashing me into the void with bowling balls.

Oh and crashing, thats starting to tick me off as well.  

After said bowling ball everytime I try to run back to get my runes it crashed to desktop 😕 

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