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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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I actually started the game planning to play a Paladin type character and for part of the start of the game was running around with my trusty Broadsword and Brass shield in my plate armour thinking: "You know what I need? I great big mace like Vordt from Dark Souls 3.

 

When I found it

 

Spoiler

Just before Altus

 

I was like

 

Spoiler

StXa.gif

 

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3 hours ago, Zael said:

 

Those feckers will get ya. Make us a promise that you'll post in here if you get got.

 

Hah, they're useless! Their most dangerous move is when they roll at you, all spiky. All that happens then is I sidestep towards the cliff and they motor right over the edge. 

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1 hour ago, Davros sock drawer said:

Killed Mohg (the proper one) first time just now. I really feel like nothing in this game comes close to Malenia for sheer cuntery.


Yeah, I didn’t struggle with Mohg that much. Malenia will probably be the cause of therapy sessions in a few years.

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Flame of the Redmanes has been my go-to for boosting my damage output or against bosses that seem weaker to fire. I usually couple it with my Uchigitana for the flaming sword and get quick hits in. Still haven't used any of the weapon greases and I keep forgetting to try my Faith spells that make my weapon poison or lightning, now things are getting harder I am definitely starting to use status effects a lot more to get extra damage on those chunky boss health bars!

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8 hours ago, Benny said:

 

It's basically so you can remove capes if you don't like them. Capes are awesome though, so of course I never used it.


Pretty sure I saw my carry weight drop when I altered to remove the cape, but also some of my resistance went down as well. 

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I beat Mohg last night with my Longsword + Greatshield build and no shackle or spirit summons. Yeah clearly easier than Melania but this still took me aaaages, and this is definitely becoming not viable now. I have really loved this way of playing and it feels a little like changing it up would be a small betrayal so close to the end but I don't really have the skill or time it would take to learn these end game bosses. This took me all evening basically. I definitely dodge in anticipation of the attack that my brain *thinks* is coming, rather than the one that I see coming, wayyyy too much. Takes so long to train out of. Really compelling though. Anyway here's the fight!

 


Pleased with the win! Felt good to finally keep it together through the second phase. I think the thumbnail of me running away with my shield still up surrounded by fire is appropriate :) (and not too spoilery)

Still procrastinating over how to respec and which weapon(s) to go for next..

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Still really struggling on Radagon for some reason. Don’t understand it. I had no problem before but now it’s probably how it should be so much harder. 
 

 

I found him so easy first phase and wasn’t too bad second phase, that I stopped attempting because I didn’t want to complete the game. I went off to do other things. But now I don’t feel like I’ll ever do him. 

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Thinking on it a bit, I'm starting to feel the mantra 'summon help for easy mode' is actually false in this game.  The bosses are mad hard if you summon other actual players. Every single boss I've beaten has been easier solo.  A team of three (or even 4 as I've seen on a couple of occasions) gives the bosses so much health that it's just painfully tricky. 

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Also, just to reiterate the difference; I was 10 or more levels lower than this first time. And have been purposefully not going and collecting my runes if I die doing other stuff so I didn’t out level him. He is taking 75% off my health with one shot and my damage to him seems about a third worse off. Feel like I’m imagining things, but I’d never have had this attitude if he were as hard as this. I’d have gone off levelling more. 
 

 

edit: I’ve realised I’m having one of my autistic “things have changed” freak outs where I feel like I’m properly losing my mind and have imagined half of my life up to this point. I just don’t understand and it’s a physical pain so that’s why I’m going on about it. I feel dreadful. 

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I don’t know if it’s just me being cack-handed or if it’s a bug - but I’m often pulling off gestures when I don’t intend to.

 

 

I don’t even know how to do gestures if I wanted to.

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31 minutes ago, robdood said:

Thinking on it a bit, I'm starting to feel the mantra 'summon help for easy mode' is actually false in this game.  The bosses are mad hard if you summon other actual players. Every single boss I've beaten has been easier solo.  A team of three (or even 4 as I've seen on a couple of occasions) gives the bosses so much health that it's just painfully tricky. 

Because of ashes primarily and bosses have been designed knowing a player can always have someone with them. Summon your own ashes and health boss pool stays the same and they are much much tankier (when upgraded) than your average online player who gets a vastly reduced pool of crimson tear flasks who then needs to survive the extended boss health with little healing. 

 

I'd say difficulty is 

 

Ez ez ez - summon strong ashes but solo

Jolly good co-operation - summon in really good online players who know the boss, can deal damage vs extra health pool and can survive it most if not all of the fight

I got gud - solo

Fuck my life - summon in dummies who die at phase 1

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17 minutes ago, Uzi said:

Because of ashes primarily and bosses have been designed knowing a player can always have someone with them. Summon your own ashes and health boss pool stays the same and they are much much tankier (when upgraded) than your average online player who gets a vastly reduced pool of crimson tear flasks who then needs to survive the extended boss health with little healing. 

 

I'd say difficulty is 

 

Ez ez ez - summon strong ashes but solo

Jolly good co-operation - summon in really good online players who know the boss, can deal damage vs extra health pool and can survive it most if not all of the fight

I got gud - solo

Fuck my life - summon in dummies who die at phase 1

It'd help if most people online just summoned one person, but almost everyone insists on summoning two. 

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18 minutes ago, Monkeyspill said:

I don’t know if it’s just me being cack-handed or if it’s a bug - but I’m often pulling off gestures when I don’t intend to.

 

 

I don’t even know how to do gestures if I wanted to.

PlayStation I presume?  While holding X, waggling the pad does gestures.  There are icons in the menu I believe which show the gesture you need to do with the controller. 

 

In short

 

keep your hands still mate. 

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2 hours ago, Davros sock drawer said:

The big Toe? I was using that as my alt weapon for most of the game once I got it.

 

None of that ugly shit. Great Mace is the one.

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36 minutes ago, Girth Certificate said:

Were you wearing a load of Holy resistance gear before?


No, and I’ve triple checked my Armor and my talismans. I don’t know if I’ve got some sort of debuff on me if that’s a thing, but he’s certainly not fun any more. 
 

I dunno, I’ll keep looking into it. I’ve seen people say the same. Some people suggest it’s just RNG, but I’ve only got to the second phase twice out of 12 times this time round. He’d one shot anyone with less than 35 vigor (mine is 37) with one of the simple mallet hits. 

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2 hours ago, Chadruharazzeb said:

 

Hah, they're useless! Their most dangerous move is when they roll at you, all spiky. All that happens then is I sidestep towards the cliff and they motor right over the edge. 

 

That's exactly what they want you to think. Easy peasy, simple aul farming spot. Sure you might as well throw on Netflix on the other screen. Oh look at that, the new series of that show you enjoy. I wonder if th-BAM cartwheels on you and you're dead. 

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2 hours ago, John0 said:

 

I beat Mohg last night with my Longsword + Greatshield build and no shackle or spirit summons. Yeah clearly easier than Melania but this still took me aaaages, and this is definitely becoming not viable now. I have really loved this way of playing and it feels a little like changing it up would be a small betrayal so close to the end but I don't really have the skill or time it would take to learn these end game bosses.

 


 

This is how I’m playing the game and it is a lot of fun, albeit sometimes very hard work.  But overcoming is a huge reward.

 

That said I do sometimes use the Jellyfish on overworld enemies that I have beaten many times just to hurry things on.

 

I’m not as far as you though so haven’t watched that boss vid.


Currently feeling very dispirited after losing 120,000 runes and all because I thought I’d just dispatch two of the big eagles on the way to picking up the dropped runes. Despite having killed a few of the eagles (although, as a melee build, I find them a little tricky)and not being too concerned, the two of them monstered me. I was careless and complacent so a classic Souls error. It’s the most runes I’ve lost in one go by a huge margin, previously the most I’d lost was ~35,000 and the most I have lost in total over 150 hours is probably only twice that. I am very diligent about collecting dropped runes and, even now, (up to Mountaintop) I will still go out my way to pick up anything more than 6-7,000. Waste not, want not!

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2 hours ago, NexivRed said:


No, and I’ve triple checked my Armor and my talismans. I don’t know if I’ve got some sort of debuff on me if that’s a thing, but he’s certainly not fun any more. 
 

I dunno, I’ll keep looking into it. I’ve seen people say the same. Some people suggest it’s just RNG, but I’ve only got to the second phase twice out of 12 times this time round. He’d one shot anyone with less than 35 vigor (mine is 37) with one of the simple mallet hits. 

 

You shouldn't worrying about levelling more, I was fighting him with 52 vigor and I was struggling. You could try putting your sign down either there or at an easier boss where you might be guarenteed a payout for levels, such as Mohg

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1 hour ago, Mike S said:


That said I do sometimes use the Jellyfish on overworld enemies that I have beaten many times just to hurry things on.

 

I haven't had the heart to use the Jellyfish since

 

Spoiler

Don't open unless you've been to Mountaintops of the Giants

 

Spoiler

I re-united her with her sister

 

 

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Just now, Hawklord said:

I haven't had the heart to use the Jellyfish since

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Don't open unless you've been to Mountaintops of the Giants

 

  Reveal hidden contents

I re-united her with her sister

 

 

Hehe, that was a cool ruin!!

 

I was kinda surprised that

Spoiler

She stays in your inventory afterwards! I was fully expecting her to have been removed!

 

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I feel like the Greatswords in this are pretty disappointing. Nothing is as good as the claymore (I mean they never are) but usually there's a bunch which are decent in their own right. yes the Blasphemus blade is fantastic for it's weapon skill and buff but you're not getting that till mid/late game. There is the sword of Night and flame but it requires both Int and Fth. thes rest of them just seem weak and/or short. The gargoyles black blade for instance, should be brilliant but it's so short for a gargoyle weapon it should be bigger. Have I missed any decent greatswords that aren't the Claymore?

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