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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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49 minutes ago, df0 said:

Bleed build is supposedly very good, but looks rather... dull. Most videos I see about it is jump attack, back off, jump attack, MASSIVE BLEED DAMAGE PROC. Still aiming for Sword & Board as it is so different from a magic build.

Not dull for me. In their face spamming L2 Corpse Piler with my Rivers of Blood + Lord of Blood's Exultation Talisman :D

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Been trying to summon at fire giant for nearly two hours now. 
 

Just put a fucking matchmaking menu in the game, for the love of fucking God. 

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After whinging about the state of Greatswords I am loving my Str main Faith secondary greatsword user, I've got the Crucible Knights greatsword and I'll soon be able to wear their armour and use their spells and destroy everything in my path. Ordovis' greatsword is excellent for a strength build with a bit of faith, also the clawmark seal scales with strength as well as faith and the bestial spells require little faith so it's well worth being friendly with Garranq. Speaking of which at the end of his quest or his life he will drop you a max upgrade ston.

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Unable to summon enthusiasm.


I mean, it’s straight up broken. Even with passworded sessions it can fail for hours at a time and they haven’t said a thing about it.

 

I’m on nine attempts at this boss now and it’s maybe the worst I’ve ever seen a camera in a souls game, which is really really REALLY saying something. It’s constantly trying to reframe to fit this boss which is simply too big to work into the shot, meaning you either can’t see the ground, can’t see his attacks or can’t see what you’ve locked onto for 90% of the fight. Of course using lock-on in this fight is suicide because it always locks onto the furthest limb from you, unless it can lock onto one already clipping inside your player model and send the camera spinning 4000 degrees making me feel completely sick in the process. If ever a limb is in frame and within melee distance you can be sure pressing R3 will see the lock-in ignore it and wonk out trying to frame his wrist 100 feet above your head. Two games in my life have given my motion sickness and this is one of them, mainly because of horseback lock on but also because of terrible fights like this where their artistic intentions push way past the technical limitations of their engine. The tree spirit things are an absolute joke too. And the flying enemies. All of them. 

 

So after two and a half hours of this shite, I only saw two summons work successfully out of hundreds. Most I’m clicking before they’ve even finished fading in. Both were moonveil plebs like me, one of them took 735 damage and died instantly without doing a single point of damage, the other one ran off to try and fight an invader instead of coming through the fog and died. I can’t do it solo, it gives me too much of a headache. I just can’t do it. I know eventually some broken meme build goku will appear and kill him in 2 hits, so it feels like a gigantic waste of time.
 

Matchmaking fails to work in other ways here too, yesterday I was trying to do the invasion questline (I have no interest in invading at all) and thought it’d be evil to invade people while they’re fighting those awful crow enemies. Instead, every time I spawned the host was already fighting the fire giant. It didn’t send me home so I simply AFK’d outside the fog gate and waited for the fire giant to kill them and collected my win. I did this three times in a row. No idea if this is meant to happen as I never invade (why on earth would you seek out that godawful pvp netcode) but it seemed broken. No idea what happens if they kill the boss either. 

 

Having serviceable multiplayer which remotely works isn’t going to make their games worse. It’s time Souls fans admit the shortcomings of their horrible matchmaking and stop trying to excuse it. Not only is it badly designed and badly implemented, it’s buggy and inconsistent, and on PC it’s always absolutely rife with cheaters. Nothing’s changed since Demons Souls on PS3, and it wasn’t good enough then. Their games deserve better. 
 

Incidentally the frequent-ish random R2 double triggering on both pads which was driving me insane hasn’t happened once since the latest system update… not for hours and hours. I’ve been recording a clip for most of them to try and gauge frequency, when it’s not too dangerous to hammer the share button. But had nothing for a while now. 

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2 hours ago, Moz said:

Unable to summon enthusiasm.


I mean, it’s straight up broken. Even with passworded sessions it can fail for hours at a time and they haven’t said a thing about it.

 

I’m on nine attempts at this boss now and it’s maybe the worst I’ve ever seen a camera in a souls game, which is really really REALLY saying something. It’s constantly trying to reframe to fit this boss which is simply too big to work into the shot, meaning you either can’t see the ground, can’t see his attacks or can’t see what you’ve locked onto for 90% of the fight. Of course using lock-on in this fight is suicide because it always locks onto the furthest limb from you, unless it can lock onto one already clipping inside your player model and send the camera spinning 4000 degrees making me feel completely sick in the process. If ever a limb is in frame and within melee distance you can be sure pressing R3 will see the lock-in ignore it and wonk out trying to frame his wrist 100 feet above your head. Two games in my life have given my motion sickness and this is one of them, mainly because of horseback lock on but also because of terrible fights like this where their artistic intentions push way past the technical limitations of their engine. The tree spirit things are an absolute joke too. And the flying enemies. All of them. 

 

So after two and a half hours of this shite, I only saw two summons work successfully out of hundreds. Most I’m clicking before they’ve even finished fading in. Both were moonveil plebs like me, one of them took 735 damage and died instantly without doing a single point of damage, the other one ran off to try and fight an invader instead of coming through the fog and died. I can’t do it solo, it gives me too much of a headache. I just can’t do it. I know eventually some broken meme build goku will appear and kill him in 2 hits, so it feels like a gigantic waste of time.
 

Matchmaking fails to work in other ways here too, yesterday I was trying to do the invasion questline (I have no interest in invading at all) and thought it’d be evil to invade people while they’re fighting those awful crow enemies. Instead, every time I spawned the host was already fighting the fire giant. It didn’t send me home so I simply AFK’d outside the fog gate and waited for the fire giant to kill them and collected my win. I did this three times in a row. No idea if this is meant to happen as I never invade (why on earth would you seek out that godawful pvp netcode) but it seemed broken. No idea what happens if they kill the boss either. 

 

Having serviceable multiplayer which remotely works isn’t going to make their games worse. It’s time Souls fans admit the shortcomings of their horrible matchmaking and stop trying to excuse it. Not only is it badly designed and badly implemented, it’s buggy and inconsistent, and on PC it’s always absolutely rife with cheaters. Nothing’s changed since Demons Souls on PS3, and it wasn’t good enough then. Their games deserve better. 
 

Incidentally the frequent-ish random R2 double triggering on both pads which was driving me insane hasn’t happened once since the latest system update… not for hours and hours. I’ve been recording a clip for most of them to try and gauge frequency, when it’s not too dangerous to hammer the share button. But had nothing for a while now. 


Stop locking on all the time, you don’t need to. 
 

I beat that boss without camera lock, or summons actually. The end game is going to be less populated than the start oh my god. 

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8 minutes ago, Kevvy Metal said:


Stop locking on all the time, you don’t need to. 
 

I beat that boss without camera lock, or summons actually. The end game is going to be less populated than the start oh my god. 

It's quite annoying to be told 'don't use the tools the developers have created' when it's an actual intentional feature, and then told to take advantage of bugs or AI glitches because 'if it's in there it's ok to use it'. 

 

Maybe they should fix the lock on?

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Dark Souls fans:

 

"The reason you're not enjoying it is that you're playing it wrong (don't use shield, always roll, etc)". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans: 

 

"Don't do this thing the game suggests you do, at least not when I think you shouldn't". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans:

 

"It's ok to do this thing to get the platinum which involves taking gear from people using exploits". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans:

 

"Do what works for you to succeed". 

 

 

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2 hours ago, Moz said:

Unable to summon enthusiasm 

 

You should have an NPC summon as well as your spirit ashes for this fight. With a Mimic+10 and the NPC just inside the fog door you can concentrate on avoiding the giant's attacks and hit him with Rotten Breath or the Swarm Of Flies. For most of the fight I just circled him waiting for his damage to tick down, you can keep your distance and let the flies or rot do the hard work whilst your summons distract him. Not saying it's an easy fight but it is doable.

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8 minutes ago, Lovelyman said:

It's quite annoying to be told 'don't use the tools the developers have created' when it's an actual intentional feature, and then told to take advantage of bugs or AI glitches because 'if it's in there it's ok to use it'. 

 

Maybe they should fix the lock on?


It’s not broken in the slightest, it literally locks on and tracks the thing your locked onto or you don’t lock on and manually move it with the right stick. 
 

It’s useful for 1 on 1 encounters, but less so for larger enemies or groups.

 

….it’s literally been like this since Demon’s Soul oh my god. 
 

 

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57 minutes ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

You should have an NPC summon as well as your spirit ashes for this fight. With a Mimic+10 and the NPC just inside the fog door you can concentrate on avoiding the giant's attacks and hit him with Rotten Breath or the Swarm Of Flies. For most of the fight I just circled him waiting for his damage to tick down, you can keep your distance and let the flies or rot do the hard work whilst your summons distract him. Not saying it's an easy fight but it is doable.

What fahkin NPC summon? We are talking Fire Giant fucking prick?

 

 

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1 hour ago, Uncle Nasty said:

 

You should have an NPC summon as well as your spirit ashes for this fight. With a Mimic+10 and the NPC just inside the fog door you can concentrate on avoiding the giant's attacks and hit him with Rotten Breath or the Swarm Of Flies. For most of the fight I just circled him waiting for his damage to tick down, you can keep your distance and let the flies or rot do the hard work whilst your summons distract him. Not saying it's an easy fight but it is doable.

How do I get NPC summon? Had it for the first main boss but not spotted it for the last two? Do you have to unlock them? 

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3 hours ago, Moz said:

fire giant

 

The camera is a nightmare for those big bosses, yes. One of those moments where just having an FOV option to pull the view back a bit would be nice.

 

I think when I did it I stayed between its legs and watched for the stomps, positioning myself away from its front to avoid the shield bash. It'll sometimes spin around or jump away so that you're no longer in this "safe" spot - and so you still need to get used to rolling through the shield swings and things when you try to get back to where you need to be. In phase 2 I'd run towards the fireballs just to get their explosion trigger out of the way, and then I stayed close and watched out for any burning spots where the geysers would shoot up.

 

It's definitely a frustrating encounter where you wish you had more visual information. Eventually you just learn to accept that the boss' next move will probably be the worst possible thing for you in your current situation, and quickly try and salvage something as necessary.

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3 hours ago, Moz said:

Been trying to summon at fire giant for nearly two hours now. 
 

Just put a fucking matchmaking menu in the game, for the love of fucking God. 

I never saw a summonable at Fire Giant. Don't think they can appear there. 

Have you tried leaving a summon sign of your own to check? (I never actually tried this I don't think). 

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You definitely can summon an NPC for fire giant. There’s two entrances, if you’re not seeing it try the other entrance.

 

Spoiler

It’s Alexander the jar guy. Does prevent you using Torrent though. 

 

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6 hours ago, df0 said:

Thinking Sword & Board build for a completely fresh run. Now to ask fextralife for some good starter setup, surely there's an easy suicide run to somewhere that'll get me a good set for first dozen of levels.

For a smooth start I think it’s very hard to beat
 

Spoiler

Getting Blaid to kill Darriwil in the first evergoal so you can get Bloodhounds Fang easily, then jumping on Torrent and riding around picking up golden seeds and heading up past the castle into the lakes to find the giant blacksmith. He’ll sell somber stones 1 to 4, so you can easily be rocking a +4 bloodhound fang within 30 minutes of starting a new game. It’s got to be one of my favourite weapons in the game, really nice art of war. Upgrades with somber stones but still allows for greases and buffs. Has bleed. It’s great.

 

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I may have started NG+ :unsure:

 

I've gone for some comedy blood loss-based build I read about on Fextralife that pairs Rivers of Blood with a left-hand weapon (the Sacrificial Axe) which restores FP upon killing enemies. The talismans are all designed to stack damage or reduce FP consumption, so you essentially just mash LT to execute Corpse Piler on a loop and win the game. It's utterly ridiculous :lol:. Cuts through Haligtree and Leyndell knights like butter.

 

Once I began journey 2 I'd got to Godrick inside 15 minutes. Took out him, Margit and the Tree Sentinel all in less than 30 seconds each, first time, despite my mistimed rolling.

 

I give you, Bloody Ron! (Because he wears the Ronin armour and triggers blood loss, geddit?)

 

 

 

20220414_003326.thumb.jpg.808c4be41387de7ee7cb1af94658d607.jpg

 

20220414_003330.thumb.jpg.5025d40261e869e6073d09c1b38a5e70.jpg

 

I'm away for a week from tomorrow, but once I'm back I may just see how quickly I can mainline all of the mandatory bosses using this guy.

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8 hours ago, Lovelyman said:

Dark Souls fans:

 

"The reason you're not enjoying it is that you're playing it wrong (don't use shield, always roll, etc)". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans: 

 

"Don't do this thing the game suggests you do, at least not when I think you shouldn't". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans:

 

"It's ok to do this thing to get the platinum which involves taking gear from people using exploits". 

 

Also Dark Souls fans:

 

"Do what works for you to succeed". 

 

 

 

I think these might be four different people, mate. 

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3 minutes ago, Minion said:

Sigh 

Lol

 

You know you don't have to be know it alls about a game that you can play and enjoy many different ways. 

 

Kevvy was telling someone they are doing it wrong using lock on for a boss, because sometimes it call fuck up. But when I called him out and suggested maybe they should fix the lock on he affirms that it's not broken, never has been and you shouldn't use it only when there's mobs. 

 

 

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35 minutes ago, Lovelyman said:

You're not allowed to use it sometimes and you get told off for doing it. 


I know you’re probably joking but I don’t think this is what Kevvy Metal meant.

 

The lock on is just one tool. You don’t have to use it in any situation, and certainly not every. Sometimes you need to manually aim your bow for example. It locks onto the Fire Giant’s hands because they’re its weak point, but obviously locking onto those when you’re right under it is not the best idea. Doing so repeatedly is not sensible and smacks of someone doing so just in order to claim it’s broken and have a massive boring rant - which is what Moz likes to do. 
 

See also complaining about motion sickness because the camera stays on a target as you lock onto it while riding your horse. If anything, he’s complaining that it works! 

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6 hours ago, Benny said:

Now I want to make a character called Foul ol' Ron. He'd be quite... Different.

 

I'm not sure if there's a "Bugrit!" Ash of War. You could have him cast Rotten Breath repeatedly, though.

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