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Elden Ring - chortlesome japes


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12 minutes ago, Calashnikov said:

Has everycunt got the mimic except me? An IRL friend was on about it too. I’m kicking about the Altus Plateau and about 80 hours in. Should I have got it by now?

I was about the same level when I finally got my hands on it, but I found it very useful for the last few fights.

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Apparently they nerfed the Mimic with a patch? Which makes me wonder how powerful it was originally, because the fully upgraded current version is still a monster. Although I have a hunch it’s most effective for a strength build that has limited (but very effective) attack options - the AI on mine can’t get confused, he just spams the L2 attack.

 

Which means that now I have the Ruins sword we just spam bosses to death together with Wave of Destruction. It’s a beautiful sight. 

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1 hour ago, Calashnikov said:

Has everycunt got the mimic except me? An IRL friend was on about it too. I’m kicking about the Altus Plateau and about 80 hours in. Should I have got it by now?

You get it from a sort of hidden optional side quest area

 

 

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1 hour ago, Calashnikov said:

Has everycunt got the mimic except me? An IRL friend was on about it too. I’m kicking about the Altus Plateau and about 80 hours in. Should I have got it by now?

 

After reading people talking about it on here, I was surprised how early I got it.  It was not long after the Radahn fight (I think beating him might be a condition you need to meet to be able to get it), and I'd entered the Altus Plateau and was finding it a bit tough so went elsewhere.

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8 hours ago, rgraves said:

 

FTFY

 

I'm fully expecting the DLC to cost £50, and to access it after purchase you'll need to beat Godskin Duo and Malenia together in a river of rot on an open-sided aquaduct being blasted by trebuchets firing giant lobsters.

 

More than the game cost? Nah From don't roll like that.

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Jesus, this game is insufferable. I can't get into the capital despite being all around it. So I find the volcano. Did all that, killed the Big Serpent Dude at the bottom... And nothing. Some souls a shitty tunic and nothing else. Fuck sake, game, throw me a bone!

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8 hours ago, squirtle said:

Jesus, this game is insufferable. I can't get into the capital despite being all around it. So I find the volcano. Did all that, killed the Big Serpent Dude at the bottom... And nothing. Some souls a shitty tunic and nothing else. Fuck sake, game, throw me a bone!

 

Spoiler

Have you been "restoring" your Great Runes by going through the Divine Towers? I think you need a couple before they let you in.

 

Alternatively, have you run into a certain familiar boss type near the front door of the capital outskirts?

 

Spoiler

...a new Tree Sentinel? He'll indicate that you're in the right place.

 

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10 hours ago, Qazimod said:

 

  Hide contents

Have you been "restoring" your Great Runes by going through the Divine Towers? I think you need a couple before they let you in.

 

Alternatively, have you run into a certain familiar boss type near the front door of the capital outskirts?

 

  Hide contents

...a new Tree Sentinel? He'll indicate that you're in the right place.

 

Divine towers...?

 

I had some guy that looked like Margit warp in outside the big doors which loads of undead are wandering up to, but no new tree sentinel...

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22 minutes ago, squirtle said:

Divine towers...?

 

They're indicated on the map by these distinct light round landmarks. For example, the circled areas here show divine towers at Limgrave and Caelid:

 

Spoiler

mnpcMCs.jpg

 

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1 hour ago, squirtle said:

Divine towers...?

 

I had some guy that looked like Margit warp in outside the big doors which loads of undead are wandering up to, but no new tree sentinel...

Keep looking for another way in.

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4 minutes ago, JPL said:

Keep looking for another way in.

Dude, I have done. I've been all the way around it, down in the dungeons around the top, down in the secret mines at the bottom...

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4 minutes ago, squirtle said:

Dude, I have done. I've been all the way around it, down in the dungeons around the top, down in the secret mines at the bottom...

 

The way into the capital? It's really not hidden :lol:
Follow the circular perimeter around it! 

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25 minutes ago, squirtle said:

Dude, I have done. I've been all the way around it, down in the dungeons around the top, down in the secret mines at the bottom...

North of where Margit warped in. There's a path that takes you up to a graveyard with a SoG & a Merchant. Further North of here there's some trolls. Beyond here is where you want (on the upper level not down at the moat). There's also an Erdtree

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22 hours ago, squirtle said:

OK. Found it. I am sure I had been up here before. Oh, well, onwards.

How did you get on with it then? He was a bit of a sticking point for me, until I did him on foot. The Capital is great as well.

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53 minutes ago, JPL said:

How did you get on with it then? He was a bit of a sticking point for me, until I did him on foot. The Capital is great as well.

Took a few goes. I summoned undead warriors and they kept getting back up which occupied him enough for me to do damage on my horse.

 

I've been through the capital, and now I'm stuck at a barrier that says I need to get it from Morgot or something. God knows where that is. 

 

How far up the Stone Dragon can you climb, by the way?

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I decided to tackle the Subterranean Shunning Grounds last night.  What a great area!  It was hard as nails, but felt the most like a Dark Souls level of any place in the game so far. I think it was because there weren't any Sites of Grace to reach, it was all about opening up shortcuts to the first Site of Grace.  Very satisfying.  I didn't even complete the area - I think I was close to opening the door opposite the grace, but died to one of those big brutes.

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Has anyone here beaten the final boss solo, without summon ashes? If so let me know, I could use some tips! Failing that I think I'll have to resort to using summon ashes for this one.

Spoiler

I have still only reached Elden Beast once, I keep getting killed by Radagon. I tried levelling up a ton of weapons but ultimately the one I was using (Greatspear with ice ashes equipped) still does the most DPS. It's not great DPS either. It scales on Dex which is at 55 right now, but I could try levelling up or even respec. Looking online I have read people suggesting to use holy defence incantations to help, so I think I'll have to start using them to try and survive Radagon and at least have a shot at Elden Beast. Might be time to crack out the Mimic Tear, I hear the Beast itself is a nightmare so I need all the help I can get! 

 

Re: Ste - I would recommend sticking at the Shunning Grounds before you forget the layout, once you open the shortcuts its incredibly easy to get lost if you return after a break!

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Just beat the final boss using the Mimic Tear on only the second attempt :lol: - amazing what a difference a tiny bit of breathing room makes! Also the defensive buffs mentioned in my post above definitely helped me survive some of the phase 2 attacks.

 

Now I think I've just got Malenia and I'm done... can I do her solo.... probably not! Where areee you my mimic friend.... 

 

 

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I've just levelled up after the boss, but before that I was level 148, stats as follows:

 

Spoiler

Vigor 42  (plus a bit of extra HP from crimson talisman +2)

Mind 21

Endurance 22

Strength 18

Dex 50 (55 with talisman)

Int 9

Faith 48

Arcane 17

 

Using a Guardian's Cold Swordspear +25 and Erdtree Seal +9 - I have some more damaging holy weapons but they aren't effective against this boss.

 

With a summon though it seems likely I could have done this at a much lower level, although without the protective incantations I had I imagine you'd get hit a lot harder.

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14 minutes ago, Alan Stock said:

I've just levelled up after the boss, but before that I was level 148, stats as follows:

 

  Hide contents

Vigor 42  (plus a bit of extra HP from crimson talisman +2)

Mind 21

Endurance 22

Strength 18

Dex 50 (55 with talisman)

Int 9

Faith 48

Arcane 17

 

Using a Guardian's Cold Swordspear +25 and Erdtree Seal +9 - I have some more damaging holy weapons but they aren't effective against this boss.

 

With a summon though it seems likely I could have done this at a much lower level, although without the protective incantations I had I imagine you'd get hit a lot harder.

A quick question regarding weapon levelling. How do you get them up to +25? I’m using the Moonveil, but it seems to have stopped at +10.

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