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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


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They Live (Netflix)

I like most John Carpenter films I’ve seen. Never really seen or heard of this. Was definitely old looking - both the period in history and the lack of any real special effects. Was a real slow builder, then a lot happens in the last 30-40 minutes. But the big reveal was cool and I liked the general vibe of it. Not a great film, but an enjoyable watch. The message is probably more relevant now than back in 1988. 
 

3/5

 

Pet Semetary (Netflix)

The new one. Pretty bland. 
2/5

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And another point alone for the Roddy Piper Vs Keith David fight. 

 

That makes it 6/5 so far and I haven't even started on the relevance of the plot and the world that we live in today. 

 

It's never been more relevent imo. 

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The Father (2020) - 5/5

 

Absolutely heart wrenching film about an Alzheimer's sufferer. Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Colman are superb.

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'71

 

Absolutely superb, gripping thriller based in Belfast during the troubles - a British soldier gets lost behind enemy lines.  I thought this was gut wrenching, tense and beautifully shot.  

 

4/5

 

Human Traffic

 

First viewing in well over 10 years - weird seeing Danny Dyer playing an almost likeable and genuinely amusing character!  Some tremendous scenes such as spliff politics and the amazing news report on the dance floor.  Not sure how much of this was nostalgia, but I really enjoyed seeing it again.

 

3.5/5

 

The Killing Fields

 

Even the bizarrely hypnotic and ill-fitting Mike Oldfield score can't stop the unbelievable feelings of emotion and anger flooding out of anyone who has a soul who watches this.  Incredible performances matched with wonderful cinematography.  The feelings of chaos followed by resignation and despair are perfectly rewarded with one of the most emotional finales in cinema.

 

The Killing Fields is an absolute masterpiece and is currently on Amazon Prime - it's a must-watch.

 

5/5

 

Escape From Pretoria

 

Harry Potter grows his hair long and does a passable South African accent in this true life story of ANC activists breaking out of prison.  Watchable but nothing special.

 

3/5

 

The War With Grandpa

 

The main issue I had with this film was that the kids (especially the main one) need a fucking shoeing.  They're so annoying - if they were mine, I'd disown the little twats.  De Niro clearly enjoys himself which elevates this from a 1 out of 5 score, but what could have been a fun film with some family slapstick turns into a slog to get through.

 

2/5

 

Beneath

 

This is in Netflix's current Top 10 most watched in the UK.  I despair of the UK for constantly voting in the Tories, but if I had any other reason to despair of this country, this festering turd of a film being in the Top 10 most watched would be a close 2nd.

 

It's absolutely appalling.  The acting is horrible.  The comedy giant man eating fish is as realistic as a Boris Johnson promise and the entire premise is utterly preposterous.  It's absolute car crash TV from start to finish.

 

Recommended only for morbid curiosity at just how much can go wrong with a film.

 

1/5

 

Antebellum

 

Letterboxd only has this as 2.6 on average but I don't quite understand why because I thought this was really good, clever and pretty gripping in places.  Lots of Black Mirror vibes going on (meant as a compliment) and a decent performance from Janelle Monae.

 

3.5/5

 

The Impossible

 

I winced so much at this powerful drama based on the accounts of a Spanish survivor of the 2004 tsunami.  Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor are excellent but the star of the movie for me was a young Tom Holland as their eldest son, Lucas - an amazing performance considering he must only have been about 14 when this was made.  The Impossible never holds back - it's a tough and emotional watch at times - and some of the injuries really made me feel queasy but it tells an important story well.  

 

4/5

 

 

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The Man with the Golden Gun

 

Well, the run of excellent Moore Bond movies had to end somewhere. This feels very mundane, its not that bad but its not particularly good either - kinda like a Greggs sandwich. Lee is admittedly pretty decent but the daft plot is uninspiring and it just limps along.

 

2.5/5

 

 

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On 06/04/2021 at 20:30, cassidy said:

3/5 for They live. 

 

Get out. It deserves 5 for the Carpenter does the Blues score alone. 

 

 

Obviously ABB's bubblegum reserve was full during the viewing of this movie.

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Slaxx a horror film about a pair of jeans that go on a killing rampage in a store.

 

about as good as you’d expect 2.5/5 but I quite like rubbish horror movies 

similar to the old tat troma churned out in 80s 

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Blackhat (2015)

 

Michael Mann does a film about hackers, and despite a few stretches of credulity (the NSA doesn't strip attachments from emails?) and some slightly iffy dialogue, manages to create something believable (at least, compared to say Swordfish or Hollywood's other portrayals of hackers), thrilling and nice to watch. Apparently there is a superior director's cut out there that reorders some of the scenes and improves the flow, but I was happy enough with the theatrical cut.

 

4/5

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The Legend of the Stardust Brothers (1985) 

 

Really has to be seen to be believed. Super creative Japanese musical with madness to burn and  the soundtrack is worth the price of admission alone

 

 

4/5

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36 minutes ago, max renn said:

The Legend of the Stardust Brothers (1985) 

 

Really has to be seen to be believed. Super creative Japanese musical with madness to burn and  the soundtrack is worth the price of admission alone

 

 

4/5

I watched this last year and it really cheered me up during the first lockdown. It’s very sketch driven, a bit like Japan’s answer to Head, the similarly bonkers Monkees movie (written by Jack Nicholson of all people!).

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Minari 4/5:  although it’s hard for me to really feel what it is like to live on a farm in rural America, the experience being a first gen immigrant hits home. The characters aren’t all flawed in their own way, and feels real and authentic.

 

I love awards season, finally feel like we’ve got a constant stream of decent new movies to see this month.  Looking forward to Sound of Metal this week and then Nomadland.  I think Palm Springs will be fun too.

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Antebellum (2020)

 

Not really sure what this movie was trying to say. It's like someone tried to blend M. Night Shyamalan and Jordan Peele together and all they got were the worst parts.

This is a movie very much split into three parts, which all take massive tonal shifts.

I'll admit that it starts strong and gives you this sense of horror & dread in the pit of your stomach and I liked the cookie crumbs it left for the audience to show us that something wasn't quite right (this all makes sense come the end).

The second part is all a bit hokey though with clichéd characters and an almost cartoon-esq villain. It's such a massive shift from the first part as we'll as being presented in a way that has you guessing a lot on what's going on, which was quite interesting at least.

The third part then tries to bring it back around to the first part and ground it again. It tries its best to make things really tense whilst also adding in a little action but it didn't leave me feeling all that worried for the main character at all. I just felt like I knew exactly where it was heading.

I liked some of the ideas it was doing but this mystery thriller fails to really grab you and just feels like a bit of a half baked idea. Again, I don't know what was it trying to say or do.

 

2/5

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On 07/04/2021 at 10:54, Boothjan said:

'71

 

Absolutely superb, gripping thriller based in Belfast during the troubles - a British soldier gets lost behind enemy lines.  I thought this was gut wrenching, tense and beautifully shot.  

 

4/5

There's a bit where he's being chased through the shitty, run down, squalid, war torn backstreets of Belfast that's filmed in Liverpool. I know this because the house he goes into is next door to my brother's house. Says a lot about where my brother lives.

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How It Ends (Netflix)

 

Forest Whitaker and his future son in law, played by some fella who I think might have been in Scrubs, but I'm not sure, try to get across America to reach the daughter / fiance after a nameless and kinda indistinct apocalypse strikes the world. 

 

I like a good post apocalyptic film and this is only the second part of that. It should be good, but pretty much everything hinges on the two leads being idiots. Twice they get into car crashes, one of which is very significant to the plot, just by sheer inattentiveness.

 

The big thing is that Whitaker's character is an ex-marine badass, and it's shown really early on that guns are key to survival - the first encounter they have with people only goes their way because Whitaker was able to pull a gun - but they only have one gun throughout the film despite having numerous opportunities to pick up more, including encountering a crashed military supply train. Pretty much every plot point would have been resolved by them having more than just the one handgun they have. 

 

I understand that they need to do these stupid things, otherwise there wouldn't be much of a plot, but they're unrealistically stupid and take any interest there should be out of the film. 

 

Also, given that they spend 90% of the film in their car, there's some really annoying continuity issues - headlights going off and on and damage disappearing and then coming back - and some jarring "this could be a Cadillac advert" product placement.

 

1/5 Should have ended sooner.

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Thunder Force (Netflix) - 1/5

 

Jesus fucking Christ, I genuinely don't think I can remember the last time I watched a film quite as bad as this. Seriously, it should win all the Razzies for this year and next. Just unfunny, dire, superhero nonsense. 

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Death Line (1972)

 

Something nasty is lurking in the London Underground.

 

Donald Pleasance is actually fucking hilarious as the police inspector in this. His scenery chewing alone makes the film worth watching. I uploaded an example of this to youtube. No plot spoilers, just Donald getting hammered in the pub after a hard days work.

 

 

4 out of 5

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1 hour ago, Pelekophoros said:

Palm Springs 3.5/5 (Prime)

 

Found this lovely and endearing but then the bit in the credits ruined the entire logic of the ending and now I am angry with it. 


I enjoyed this a lot too. The bit in the credits didn’t bother me at all.

 

On the other hand I kicked the TV screen in when...

Spoiler

They didn’t resolve the dinosaur plot in a scientifically plausible fashion

:lol:

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The Queen's Corgi

My youngest found the trailer for this first thing this morning, which we agreed would be our Friday film night film... coincidentally the day Prince Philip died. 

As per the title the film follows the Corgis and their life with the Queen. It's a pretty good concept for a kids film. 

 

If somebody gave me the choice of watching this again, or watching two hours of BBC royal coverage today, it would be a really tough choice. This film obviously had a lot of care put into it as the animation and CGI is of good quality (not near Disney\Pixar, but good enough), but it might be the worst animated film I've seen in years. 

 

Not only are the central characters dull and instantly forgettable, and the humour unfunny to the point not even our six year old raises a smile, the film is horribly misjudged in several places. 

 

The first act of the film features Donald Trump and a stupid dog, who with it brings an unpleasant lengthy set-piece where the Trump dog is basically trying to shag the lead character (played by Jack Whitehall) despite the Corgi telling it to stop. At one point Trump dog even says it doesn't know the meaning of the letters N and O as it proceeds on its weird sexual innuendo-filled attack. 

 

A few scenes later the film moves into a lengthy - about a third of the film - joke about Fight Club. It even does the "first rule of fight club" jokes that came and went with the IT Crowd many years ago. I thought there would be an attempt at different take on the joke (again like in IT Crowd) ...but nope, instead we get fight club. Actual dog fighting. In a PG film for kids. 

 

I know this sounds like I'm writing for Mumsnet but the film is really, really off the mark. It probably felt incredibly dated back in 2019 when it first released, but now it feels archaic. 

 

I remember back after Toy Story first came out and for many years later, there was a long string of high quality CGI films. I always thought it was because they take so long to make and reshoots are so expensive, that the scripts have to be spot on before they can start.

 

Here is aCGI film of reasonable budget, with a good cast plus Jack Whitehall, that I'm genuinely baffled got made. It's utter, utter shite. 

 

1/5

 

Palm Springs 

A very enjoyable and highly recommended comedy. The high concept of the film was of course familiar, but they pulled it off with plenty of whit and charm. The cast is good and Andy Samberg in particular makes for an excellent lead. I went into the film without knowing the concept so purposely not writing it here!

I felt the film missed a note or two in the middle where character development is very suddenly forced at the expense of the fun yet tragic tone the film had set up to that point. I see why it was done of course but its a bit jarring.

The scene in the credits was unnecessary as mentioned a few posts up, but other than that it's a really enjoyable film. 

 

4/5

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John And Julie (1955)

I should point out this review was written on the day of Prince Philip's death. I'm certainly no fan of the royal family and have no feelings towards the Duke of Edinburgh. This is what would be described today as a feel-good movie about two children who run away to London to see the Queen's coronation in June 1953. John is the wily one, Julie, who I'm guessing is about 7 or 8, just wants to see the Queen. There are a variety of low-risk mishaps along the way. John's uncle just so happens to be one of the mounted guard. Sod the royals, it's all about the children's journey and determination to see the parade. I really must be a big softy in my middle age but the two kids are totally charming and sincere, you're just willing them to get there. Even John's father (Sid James), who is a massive cynic re the coronation, eventually comes around. Supporting cast includes Wilfred Hyde-White and a small role for Peter Sellers.  It is sentimental royalist twaddle, I'd admit that, but that didn't stop me rooting for the children. You'd have to be a very cold-hearted person not to feel for them.

 

3/5

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10 hours ago, FishyFish said:


I enjoyed this a lot too. The bit in the credits didn’t bother me at all.

 

On the other hand I kicked the TV screen in when...

  Hide contents

They didn’t resolve the dinosaur plot in a scientifically plausible fashion

:lol:

Spoiler

Yeah the dinosaurs were plain weird but I can live with that.

 

The credits bit though! She specifically said the goat was no longer there and it was evidence of the success of her theory. Him being there suggests...something else, I guess?

 

Still, lovely movie. Liked it a lot.

 

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On 06/04/2021 at 14:33, Bazjam said:

1 and 3 are on Prime. Was surprised to read reviews saying 3 was a bit of a disappointment as it’s brilliant. Definitely more in the vibe of his later work.


Pusher 2 has just arrived on MUBI, I guess 3 will be along in a few days too.

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Incredibles 2

 

Loved the 1st one so was looking forward to this, a few middling reviews when it released meant i never got around to seeing it. Because I'm an easily influenced , weak and lazy kind of person.

 

 For me I found it nearly the equal of the 1st movie, the mother is a stronger and more interesting character and the way she used her powers etc are more inventive than the father. His situation in this was also well done and there's a pretty good turn from the entire family, Jack Jack will get most of the plaudits  but I thought they're good as an ensemble.

 

Only real issue i had was that the villain is a good bit weaker, especially after a certain point , than the original,but it's kind of weighed up by the lead character being better.

 

I can understand why folks didn't find it as good as the 1st but I really enjoyed it.

 

4/5

 

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Thunder Force 

 

An absolutely terrible film, 

 

Wasn’t funny (at all) enough to be a comedy 

Wasn’t enough action to be an action film 

Wasn’t kiddie enough to be a kids film 

Wasn’t adult enough to be an adult film 

 

It just missed every beat it was aiming for and as a result becomes so distinctively average that it becomes a chore to watch. 
 

If they had kept it a kids film with the 2 younger girls getting powers it would have been far better. 
 

1/5

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3 hours ago, hollowman said:

Thunder Force 

 

An absolutely terrible film, 

 

Wasn’t funny (at all) enough to be a comedy 

Wasn’t enough action to be an action film 

Wasn’t kiddie enough to be a kids film 

Wasn’t adult enough to be an adult film 

 

It just missed every beat it was aiming for and as a result becomes so distinctively average that it becomes a chore to watch. 
 

If they had kept it a kids film with the 2 younger girls getting powers it would have been far better. 
 

1/5

I’m watching this now. So far it’s about as entertaining as a case of genital warts.

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Bruce Lee Against Supermen aka Superdragon vs Supermen (1975)

I'm no expert but from what I can gather this was essentially exploiting Bruce Lee's appearance as Kato in the Green Hornet TV series; Brucesploitation. Anyway, you get Bruce Li here as opposed to Lee in a mish-mash of poor pacing and incoherent plot. However, it makes some ground back for some of the bizarre moments, like a car pursuit (couldn't really call it a chase) where a taxi follows that car for about 5 minutes, a sex scene soundtracked by Kraftwerk's Autobahn, an on-foot chase through the city with such long shots it looks like a montage of city life more than a chase, and it goes on for ages. Always loved the magpie-like nature of the music, bits of ELP, Bob James and others. It gets a lot more entertaining towards the end as the frequency of the weirdly-edited fights increases.

 

2.5/5

 

 

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Anaconda (1997)

 

Can't believe I watched this for the first time today. CGI on the snake is shoddy, but thankfully the practical FX (of which there are many) are pretty good. I suppose they had to be, to make John Voight look half human!

 

4 out of 5. Yep, 4 out of 5.

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Disorderlies (1987)

It's difficult to dislike this goofy comedy starring The Fat Boys as a trio of incompetent care home orderlies hired by a conniving so-and-so who needs his uncle bumped off so he can repay his gambling debts. It isn't exactly hilarious, the humour is mostly slapstick and incongruity. It's all very loose and free-wheeling, upbeat. The cast all do their bit, but the real entertainment here comes from Ralph Bellamy who is clearly having a great time as the elderly uncle, riding around in his wheelchair with young ladies in his lap at a roller disco. The Fat Boys obviously get to do a couple of numbers, the very 1987 soundtrack is provided by Art Of Noise. Inoffensive, not bad but not great, better than I was expecting it to be anyway.

 

3/5

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Thunder Force (2021)

Everything wrong with big-budget American comedy films these days, the coarse-for-the-sake-of-it humour, the endless, tedious ad-libbing, stretches of boring conversations that go nowhere, loose, ineffectual direction. A complete chore to watch, I found myself reaching for the skip-forward button more than a few times just to see how long each scene could be padded out. Even the few action scenes here are hamstrung by it! I want to like Melissa McCarthy, in better films with tighter direction she's alright. It's weird how Netflix chose to have McCarthy with Jason Bateman's The Crab rather than Octavia Spencer, after all it's basically a buddy-superhero film. Maybe Jason Bateman is a bigger draw than I thought. He's just as prone to dialogue diarrhoea as the rest of the cast, albeit with claws. As I write this is No.1 on UK Netflix. Words fail me.

 

1/5

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