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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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Kimi - 3/5 (Sky Cinema)

 

This is a perfect example of why a low-budget and a relatively small production is no barrier to creating something extremely watchable.

 

Granted, being an established filmmaker like Soderbergh helps, but Kimi should be on every film school curriculum as a benchmark for tight, efficient, engaging storytelling.

 

Comfortably among the better films I’ve seen so far this year.

 

(#151/1000)

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The Courier (Prime) 

 

Cumbersnatch Bumberfund plays Greville Wynne, a true story I knew nothing about but it's very engaging and well told. 

 

Set in the early 60's as Russia and America heat up the cold war. 

 

Really enjoyed it 

 

4/5

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Encanto

 

Slickly crafted, sickly sweet storytelling from Brand Disney.

Visually incredible but story beats are a bit too quickly paced at times.

Songs are either great or grating depending on your view of musicals.

 

3.5

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Limitless (2011)

Bradley Cooper is a slacker who comes across a drug that opens up the untapped potential of the brain, gets him in serious shit, naturally. It's based on a novel, there is a lot of narration here to the point it felt like an illustration of the book. This is no bad thing here as the complimentary visuals are wild, and whilst in danger of being overdone at times does manage to convey the heightened state of mind. Robert De Niro saunters through this as a big-shot investor. Definitely an interesting drama that does a lot with the premise. 

 

3.5/5

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Death on the Nile - 2/5 (Cinema)

 

Takes an absolute age to get going. Lop twenty minutes off and think a brisker pace would make the eventual murder mystery a breezy bit of fun.

 

Not awful, just a bit overindulgent, and a little subdued in tone despite being oversaturated in looks. Wondering if it was shot entirely on a soundstage? Is Gal Gadot actually entirely CGI? Will Poirot’s ‘tache get a spin-off series?

 

(#155/1000)

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The Night Doctor - 3.5/5 (MUBI)

 

This is a reasonable watch, the story of a doctor responding to night calls in Paris, and for various after dark reasons finds himself wrapped in quite the tangle of modern urban life.

 

The MUBI blurb says this is similar to the Safdie’s Good Time, but it put me more in mind of Uncut Gems as it often has that same blue lens urgency. Unlike both of those flicks though, you pretty much know exactly what is going to happen in this one before it does. Few surprises then, but an enjoyably grubby tour of nighttime Paris.

 

 

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On 21/02/2022 at 21:30, glb said:

The Bezonians - 0/5 (screener)

 

I’m incredibly fortunate to often get paid to watch films, but occasionally one comes in that’s so bad it really defies belief. This is among the worst I’ve screened in almost twenty years of working in TV planning.

 

Featuring Vinnie Jones, and when he comfortably the best actor in your production you know you’ve got issues, this isn’t even sub-Guy Ritchie fare. This makes Nick Love’s work look gritty, artistic and authentic.


The ‘plot’ revolves around a men’s club, the titular Bezonian, and some sort of gambling debt. However that all gets lost among questionable dialogue covering such interesting topics as racism, homophobia and Covid-denial.

 

There’s obviously nudity because gangsters love birds, innit. And lots of rambling speeches referencing Greek mythology clearly written by someone who doesn’t understand what they’re referencing.

 

Dire, and yet it was at EFM, which is a pretty big film market. It’ll probably make money. And the director will make something else.
 

Honestly, if you’ve ever had the urge to make a film, go out and do so knowing you’d need to have the intelligence of a wheelie bin to achieve anything close to as bad as this. Fucking hell.

 

(#142/1000)

 

EDIT: did include the trailer, but fuck that. Team behind this don’t deserve any more clicks.


You got me curious, so I had to look at the trailer. Damn, that looks like one shit movie. It’s such a strange genre, the British gangster film. I guess somebody must be into them, otherwise they wouldn’t keep making them. There must be about fifty Rise of the Footsoldier movies by now.

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2 hours ago, Monkeyboy said:


You got me curious, so I had to look at the trailer. Damn, that looks like one shit movie. It’s such a strange genre, the British gangster film. I guess somebody must be into them, otherwise they wouldn’t keep making them. There must be about fifty Rise of the Footsoldier movies by now.


Oh, I’m sorry you endured even two minutes of it. I’m quite partial to the genre as mindless escapism; they’re mostly shit but at least usually competent.

 

The Bezonians on the other hand is close to being the worst film I’ve ever seen, joining such amateurish efforts as Werewolves of the Third Reich and Soul Reaper. I try and find a redeeming feature in the films I watch for work as often feedback goes back to the suppliers, but with Bezonians I’d gladly tell the director to never go near a film set ever again.

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13 hours ago, Timmo said:

Titane

 

Pretty boring and shit after a cool first 20 mins.

 

2/5

Thank you. Thought it was just me. Takes a massive downward turn after 

Spoiler

she's collected from the Police station. 

 

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Ghostbusters: Afterlife

 

I really enjoyed this and glad I watched it after the hype. The girl who played Phoebe in particular was well cast and carried the weight. 
 

I think the film lost a sense of urgency in the middle slightly and it could have done with expanding on Phoebe’s disconnect with other kids/people.  It would have made some of her longing to dig out the history and search for answers a bit more fleshed out. 
 

It is no way near as good as the original but I don’t think it would be fair to expect it to either. I took it for what it was and think it was pretty good. 
 

Hume’s and arghed over the score. I’m feeling optimistic and Phoebe’s hair do was perfectly done in this:

 

4/5

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Venom - Let There Be Carnage

 

I liked the first Venom film. It was silly. I was hoping similar for this with added Woody Harrelson.

 

It was soooooooo good that I fell asleep about 20 minutes before the end!! 

 

2 chickens (Sonny & Cher) / 5.

 

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Scream (2022)

 

Show me where The Last Jedi touched you.

 

Very brutal and quite uneasy viewing when it came to the killings. They felt more realistic than any other Scream.

 

Outside that, it was just Meta bullshit (way more than the original Scream ever was) with the writers trying to be super clever and witty. I'm surprised some of the characters didn't look directly down the lense at any point when giving one of the many speeches. 

 

As soon as it took a pop shot at TLJ, I knew EXACTLY where this film was going and didn't stop rolling my eyes from that point.

 

2/5

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Spiderman Homecoming (2017)

Enjoyed this so much more than The Amazing Spider-Man, it is better in almost every respect. You have likeable characters, the high school bits which I normally find really tedious, more so as I get older, were actually funny and charming, some good action too. Did I spot a TV showing Hot Fuzz as Peter Parker ran through a load of back yards? Like all these films it was too long and really tested the good will I had for it towards the end.

 

3.5/5

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Finally got around to watching Clound Atlas on Saturday. I’m still digesting it though and not ready to review or score. Gut feeling Is that I need another viewing soon before I can confidently do either. 

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Miracle Mile

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097889/

A young man hears a chance phone call telling him that a nuclear war has started and missiles will hit his city in 70 minutes.

 

A real 80's time-capsule of a film. Anthony Edwards has arranged a date in a late-night diner. His alarm doesn't go off and he turns up hours late. He's outside the diner when a phone in a phonebox starts ringing, he answers and hears a panicked voice tell him that nuclear missiles have been launched and that they'll hit in just over an hour. He's not sure if this is real or a joke. But decides to get his date and flee the city. He recruits the rest of the colourful characters at the diner to try and get out of the city.

 

I've had this one on my list for a while and it was pretty good but fell just short of being great. The setup is excellent and the locations are well filmed (late-night diners, empty LA streets, neon billboards, high tech fitness clubs) but it all felt a bit rushed or something. It goes from panicky phonecall to The Stand in a only a few minutes and it felt a bit silly the way everyone was fully onboard with the world ending on the word of a couple of people in a diner. It came out in 1988 so would have been after the real height of the nuclear panic. And there's a real weird tone shifting from comedy to tragedy in a heartbeat. 

 

The cast are all good - Anthony Edwards has a nice everyman charisma to him and the background characters in the diner are a lot of fun (surly construction workers, a transgender woman, a yuppie complete with brick size mobile phone). There's also a great turn from Edward Bunker who improves anything he's in. It looks great and plays out in real time so there's a bit of tension but it felt like something was missing that could have made this better.

 

An interesting snapshot from history.

3/5

 

 

I also watched the first 30 minutes of the new West Side Story but I couldn't get into it. I just don't think I like these golden age musicals. 

 

 

 

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Boiling Point - 3.5/5 (Amazon rental)

 

This is a really good film that is a few steps off being really great. It charts a shift in the life of a head chef whose life is also coming to a head, with the conceit that it’s all done in one shot.

 

Very skilfully made, you really feel like you are in amongst the shift and the staff, and often the tension is genuinely palpable. The film’s main problem is that it telegraphs the main plot twists (such as they are) so blatantly that nothing is ever surprising. It’s mostly very well acted though, and if you want to know what it feels like to work in a busy restaurant, this will give you the lot.

 

I noticed you can watch it for free on Amazon if you sign up to a trial of some service called Shorts or something, but I didn’t bother as they’ve stung me like that before!

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The Snowman (2017)

II'm currently working my way through the Jo Nesbo books so was looking forward to this, but what a mess. I haven't read the novel this is based on, but it strikes me that midway through they'd changed something earlier on in the story to fir the movie format, realised they'd fucked up, and got lost trying to fix it.

Shame as the first half is very good and it's stunning on the eye.

2/5

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Rise of the Footsoldier: Marbella - 2/5 (Netflix)

 

I’ve recently developed an admittedly morbid fascination with the infamous Rettendon murders that occurred in the mid-90s because last year we coincidentally moved to about five minutes from where they happened. That combined with finding mindless escapism in the laddish thriller genre led me to the ‘Footsoldier series.

 

This entry is everything that you’d expect; it’s a pint of Stella come to life, furious with everyone and everything in its path. It’s done a five stretch and now it’s free. It hates the world and it especially hates you and your muggy little face. Craig Fairbrass punches things, stabs things and calls things cunts. That’s mostly the plot. Mostly.
 

There’s a deal for some Es. There’s Terry Stone’s wig, which looks like a thatched roof perched on a thumb that’s come off worse versus a hammer. There are some women present, sometimes they’re clothed, other times they’re not. Sometimes they’re love interests, sometimes they are ladies of the night. There’s nightclubs, golf courses and lots of drugs. And swearing. I love swearing, but this is obsessed with swearing. It’s as if the budget went up a percentage with every swear spat out by its cast.

 

However, amongst all of the above there is a semblance of competence, of signs someone involved knew what they were doing. Plus the runtime is a pleasingly brisk 90 minutes. Should you watch it? Of course not, but it scratched an itch and got me through some dull admin. A cheap burger washed down with Panda pop of a film.

 

(#162/1000)

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Alive (1993)

 

Typical Hollywood-isation of a much better true story. 

 

2.5 out of place hairs on Ethan Hawkes goatee/5

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What Drives Us - 3/5 (Prime)

 

Hugely enjoyable Dave Grohl doc about bands and their trusty touring vans, and life on the road. Grohl is such a charismatic presence, and he puts his interview subjects well at ease.

 

Actually made me feel a bit sad I was (am) a shy kid and never had the urge to perform in a rubbish school band or goof about on stage. Maybe I’ll have a midlife crisis and get a drum kit.

 

Making Monsters - 2/5 (Prime)

 

Mediocre voyeuristic/streaming horror.


Essex Vendetta - 1/5 (Prime)

 

Daniella Westbrook! That fella who gets decapitated in The Business! Some Essex locations!

 

Unintentionally hilarious addition to the UK gangster oeuvre. It’s properly rubbish, making Footsoldier: Marbella look like Goodfellas.

 

Loved every second of it, what a load of shit.

 

(#163-165/1000)

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A Tim Robbins triple bill!

 

Howard the Duck

 

Not quite as bad as I had been led to believe. In fact I rather enjoyed the first half in a crap but fun kind of way. The film dips even lower than that in the second half and, for a while at least, becomes very tiresome until a fun final few scenes.

 

Lea Thompson was one of my first big movie crushes (BTTF of course) but here I found her very bland and not at all attractive. Robbins over acts terribly but I still found him engaging to watch. 

 

Some terrible effects and a god awful script for about 80% of the running time. I would certainly never watch it again but overall I thought it was far from the worst film of all time.

 

1.5/5

 

Nothing to Lose

 

A comedy with Martin Lawrence about a guy who goes off the rails after seeing his wife in bed with another man. I thought this was watchable if nothing too exciting or interesting. The two leads bounce off each other really well and it has a nice sugary ending which I always like.  A fair few of the jokes fall flat as a pancake but others arent too bad.

 

2/5

 

Dark Waters

 

This, on the other hand, is an utterly captivating bit of movie making. Telling a story I knew nothing about I was glued to the screen as the events unfolded. I have to keep reminding myself that I actually really like Ruffalo in everything APART from his turn as Hulk in the MCU as I tend to avoid movies with him in. He is just class here and as the entire movie is centred around him he is in most scenes and plays the part to perfection. 

 

Its so nice to be surprised by a film and this totally blew me away. Recommended.

 

5/5

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7 hours ago, sandman said:

A Tim Robbins triple bill!

 

Howard the Duck

 

Not quite as bad as I had been led to believe. In fact I rather enjoyed the first half in a crap but fun kind of way. The film dips even lower than that in the second half and, for a while at least, becomes very tiresome until a fun final few scenes.

 

Lea Thompson was one of my first big movie crushes (BTTF of course) but here I found her very bland and not at all attractive. Robbins over acts terribly but I still found him engaging to watch. 

 

Some terrible effects and a god awful script for about 80% of the running time. I would certainly never watch it again but overall I thought it was far from the worst film of all time.

 

1.5/5

 

The end credits song is really good.

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Mach 2 (2000) Amazon Prime

It's rubbish but enjoyable rubbish. Very much inspired by Airport 79: The Concorde in places (uses plenty of footage from said film), it's a straightforward airline hijack with some cobblers to do with a dodgy Vice President, incriminating computer disc and an Air Force guy who hates flying, Brian Bosworth in this case. Merely alright in all departments, and whilst it at times struggles to maintain altitude at "alright" it certainly doesn't deserve the 3.3 average score it currently has on IMDB. Loved the barely-concealed budgetary touches such as using the same ATC suite for Washington and Paris and reused footage. All part of the charm, I suppose; we're all in on it. This is the only other thing I've seen Michael Dorn in and he gives it a fair shake. Personally if there was a choice between this and Airport 79 I'd choose the latter, I mean it has George Kennedy, Alain Delon and Robert Wagner in it.

 

2.5/5

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