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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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Message Man (2018)

The film, once it gets going after a very slow start, has some surprisingly good action for low-budget straight-to-streaming, very crunchy and bloody, albeit CGI blood a lot of the time. Hitman out in Indonesia up against some sex-traffickers, with a bit of a limp revenge element thrown in. Low expectations doubtless helped here, but then I'm used to it. However, the blurb on Amazon Prime goes thus: "The Expendables meets Rambo: First Blood. A slick slice of action entertainment that blends old school action flair, with today's epic set pieces". There's absolutely no way you could even remotely tie this into those films, in fact I'd say this film would be a lot better received if they just promoted it as plucky low-budget action.

 

2.5/5

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Prometheus

 

No point writing anything about this - just a total waste of everyones time and talent. Characters doing the stupidest things imaginable just so 'stuff' can happen - these clowns make the crew of the Red Dwarf look professional. Not even the occasional nice visual can redeem this shambles.

 

1/5 - I think this is the worst Ridley Scott film I've watched. And it's really putting me off watching The Last Duel .

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19 minutes ago, Silent Runner said:

Prometheus

 

No point writing anything about this - just a total waste of everyones time and talent. Characters doing the stupidest things imaginable just so 'stuff' can happen - these clowns make the crew of the Red Dwarf look professional. Not even the occasional nice visual can redeem this shambles.

 

1/5 - I think this is the worst Ridley Scott film I've watched. And it's really putting me off watching The Last Duel .


It shouldn’t, The Last Duel is excellent.

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The Adam Project

2.5/5

 

some laughs. Characters as deep as carbon nanoweave. The kid does an ok job of playing a 12 year old Reynolds. Some half decent effects but some ropey as fuck sci. Not that this is about that. Jennifer Garner totally wasted.

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20 hours ago, Silent Runner said:

Prometheus

 

No point writing anything about this - just a total waste of everyones time and talent. Characters doing the stupidest things imaginable just so 'stuff' can happen - these clowns make the crew of the Red Dwarf look professional. Not even the occasional nice visual can redeem this shambles.

 

1/5 - I think this is the worst Ridley Scott film I've watched. And it's really putting me off watching The Last Duel .

 

Alien Covinent is even worse.

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Batman and Robin

 

After this and Howard the Duck I might make it a bit of a mission to watch as many Razzie worst picture movies as I can. I found this to be rather good in places and rather poor in others. Clooney is the only person to play Wayne and actually look like he might be a billionaire. There are a few hints of how good Arnie  would be as Mr Freeze if he had had Nolan directing him. The set design might just be the most bonkers of all time. Gough continues to make the Alfred role his own. The film is by far at its best in its fleeting serious moments. And Thurman is just fantastic. 
 

Of course the film has an awful lot of crap. Silverstone reminds us why she is remembered for just one movie as she is plain awful here.  The nipples are plain weird as are the butt shots. A fair bit of the film is just as if somebody threw up on the screen. 
 

Far from the worst movie of all time, it’s not even the worst film I’ve seen in the last month.

 

2.5/5

 

 

Big Trouble in Little China

 

My love for Carpenter is only increasing now I’m middle aged. His genius seems to suit my tastes more now than it did 30 years ago. This is simply perfect with an insane premise that somehow works. The cast do such a great job of selling the story that you totally buy into the world. 

Apparently Carpenter was unhappy with the effects but I think they are amazing considering the budget. 
 

It’s the perfect length, is shot amazingly well  and the Arrow release blu ray looks better at 1k than a couple of 4k discs I’ve seen recently. 
 

5/5

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The Adam Project

 

Pleasant enough family fodder for a wet weekend afternoon.  Just don’t expect any more than that and you’ll be alright.  The cast all played themselves!

 

2.5

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West Side Story (2021) - 4/5 (Disney+)

 

There’s always a risk revisiting a classic, but this is sublime. The cast is great, the choreography is mesmerising in places and the iconic songs are all given due care. Just a classy effort all round.
 

And it all looks gorgeous. The cinematography is great, but a word too for the colour grading, which is just fantastic throughout. Doubt I’ll watch a better looking film all year.

 

(#193/1000)

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The update is such a loving homage to the original that you end up thinking "why didn't I just watch the original? 

as this has absolutely nothing original about it". 

 

The "colour grading being spot on" tells you all you need to know really 

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9 hours ago, Sidewaysbob said:

The update is such a loving homage to the original that you end up thinking "why didn't I just watch the original? 

as this has absolutely nothing original about it". 

 

The "colour grading being spot on" tells you all you need to know really 


That’s not the only positive I highlighted though is it? Yes, the film looks fantastic throughout, with the framing, staging, costumes, lighting and, indeed the grading, all contributing to that. They’re quite important components in filmmaking after all.

 

The original will remain one of the greatest musicals ever adapted for screen, but think the remake more than justifies its existence and on its own merits is a brilliantly made film. That existence also doesn’t preclude anyone from watching the original or diminish the original’s many merits.

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On 12/03/2022 at 22:46, Silent Runner said:

Prometheus

 

No point writing anything about this - just a total waste of everyones time and talent. Characters doing the stupidest things imaginable just so 'stuff' can happen - these clowns make the crew of the Red Dwarf look professional. Not even the occasional nice visual can redeem this shambles.

 

1/5 - I think this is the worst Ridley Scott film I've watched. And it's really putting me off watching The Last Duel .

 

How scathing this is makes me think this is a first watch. :lol: I don't know if it's better to have watched it on release or now afters years of managing disappointment. I've not seen it since and hope I'll try to find some good in it if I ever return for a second watch.

 

I think Covenant is Ridley's worst film. 

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Dead Or Alive (1999)

Have to say I've never watched a Takashi Mike film before, actually tell a lie I have seen Audition. Reading other reviews it's obvious some found the main body of the movie slow compared to the joyously crass in-your-face opening and the welcome last 15 minutes or so, but as someone who has watched a lot of pretty poor gangster films in the last 20 years this held my interest. It's not the most complex gangster story ever, but the sleazy, bloody, violent and bizarre moments stopped it getting bogged down as a lot of these sort of things tend to when done with less attention. The spasms of weirdness may put off crime purists, but once I'd tuned into it I found this very enjoyable.

 

4/5

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Super Mario Bros (1993) - Enjoyable enough, even if you could take the Mario Bros element out and it wouldn't harm the film at all, if anything make it better. Bob Hoskins is great. 3/5

 

My Brother's Keeper (1992) - A documentary about a potential murder in a US backwater. Really enjoyed this, it's nicely paced and the people in the film come across honest enough, apart from the police obviously. The police only make statements to the camera rather than speaking to the interviewers (possibly a legal thing, I have no idea) but it does give a nice bit of juxtaposition to the more casual filming elsewhere. Good soundtrack too. 4/5

 

Ponyo (2008) - Working our way through the Ghibli back catalogue still. The storm scenes are exceptional, really well done, and the story is nice enough. 3/5

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1991) - I don't think i've seen this in 20+ years, possibly even since release and it's not terrible! The costumes hold up ok, although coming from Jim Henson's workshop that maybe shouldn't be too much of a surprise. It's all a bit cheesy but watchable enough. The best bit is the first trip into the footsoldier base, which features arcade machines, skateboarding and breakdancing - all of the hallmarks of an evil base (Is this a way to annoy adults who might see these activities as dangerous or a way of appealing to the young? I have no idea). 3/5

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Edge of Tomorrow - 3/5 (Plex)

 

I’ve had this hanging around for ages so thought I’d give it a watch over the weekend. A little disappointing really as I’d heard great things about it, and in parts it is a really good film, plays with the time trope quite nicely sometimes and some definitely fun bits.

 

If it had been a bit imaginative with the aliens it would have been a much better film, but they are essentially a Matrix rip off that opts for the fallacy that lots of things moving fast must be exciting, and it very rarely is.

 

The end was more than a bit silly, the Cruiser gurning away when he presumably doesn’t realise he has been doomed to live forever. That’s if the Omega’s magic keeps working. And if it doesn’t, how did it cast him back in time when it was dying? And how did it cast him back to a time where it is dead and he is alive? Answers on a postcard please!

 

The score was probably reduced by me watching Aliens (5/5) straight after. Now, that’s how you make a SF movie.

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Fair Game (1995)

Skirts the border between just-about-entertaining-enough and slick-yet-stupid it has some alright action and just enough touches to keep things interesting, but it's so generic anyone who has watched a few of these will find nothing new. Cindy Crawford was big at the time, and this appears to be her trying to extend the brand a bit, but she lacks the personality or charism to make her character worth caring about. William Baldwin is no action man, it's that lack of charisma again. So that leaves Seven Berkhoff who plays, shock horror, an ex-KGB colonel doing bad stuff, and even he couldn't summon his normal scenery-chewing histrionics. I mean it's not awful, it's watchable, it has a very PM Entertainment vibe about it, but it's so breathtakingly stupid words will fail you.

 

3/5

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Endgame (1983)

Action-packed Italian post-apocalypse flick directed by Joe D’Amato, and seeing as I very much enjoyed 2020 Texas Gladiators I had no doubt I'd get something from this, and I was right. Lots of great fights, tons of motorbikes, derelict buildings and epic gunfights. With this being an Italian production I wasn't at all surprised to see a baddie with two topless women riding shotgun - that's how they roll. Love this sort of thing.

 

3.5/5

 

 

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I've got that sat on Plex, I really need to get round to watching it.

 

Motel Hell (1980) - A pretty decent attempt at a comedy horror Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Fun premise, doesn't try and be too extreme and the acting is better than average for the genre. 4/5

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The Bombardment

 

Jesus Christ. How can a person not know this happened. I don’t feel like I can score it. The film is extremely good. But it’s also extremely awful.
 

It’s definitely a watch if you’re strong. 

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3 hours ago, NexivRed said:

The Bombardment

 

Jesus Christ. How can a person not know this happened. I don’t feel like I can score it. The film is extremely good. But it’s also extremely awful.
 

It’s definitely a watch if you’re strong. 

Know what happened? I even tried to look it up on IMDB, in case I wasn’t seeing the obvious, but it doesn’t seem to exist on there.

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2 hours ago, JPL said:

Know what happened? I even tried to look it up on IMDB, in case I wasn’t seeing the obvious, but it doesn’t seem to exist on there.

 

Spoiler

It's an incredibly bleak story of a Danish school bombardment which happened by accident as the Danish resistance forces were fighting against Nazi occupation. I haven't seen it but I know the story. Awful, awful stuff.

 

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3 hours ago, Festoon said:

 

  Hide contents

It's an incredibly bleak story of a Danish school bombardment which happened by accident as the Danish resistance forces were fighting against Nazi occupation. I haven't seen it but I know the story. Awful, awful stuff.

 

Yeah, that does sound pretty horrific. Think I'll give it a miss.

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13 minutes ago, JPL said:

Yeah, that does sound pretty horrific. Think I'll give it a miss.

 

It's even more unfortunate than I've made it sound. 

 

Spoiler

It was a literal one-in-a-million accident with a  plane clipping a wing and crashing into the school which caused an explosion when the plane went up. The bombers saw the impact and went 'oh, there's our target'. Just unimaginably tragic.

 

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Terra Formars (2016)

Takashi Mike-directed SF based on some manga where Mars has been terraformed, a crew is sent out to deal with the cockroaches, plus there's a rubbish villain. To put it mildly. It is definitely very silly indeed, with each crew-member able to turn into an insect with different powers. There is a tongue-in-cheekness about it that appealed, maybe not quite as knowing as something like Starship Troopers but it helps to dial into the tone. Mind you, by about 3/4 of the way through I was tired out and didn't really give a toss what happened.

 

3/5

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The Adam Project - 3/5

 

Really fun and well made with a lot of heart. The first half was far better than the second though. Final act let it down overall but a fun family action film. 

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On 15/03/2022 at 18:44, ZOK said:

Edge of Tomorrow - 3/5 (Plex)

 

I’ve had this hanging around for ages so thought I’d give it a watch over the weekend. A little disappointing really as I’d heard great things about it, and in parts it is a really good film, plays with the time trope quite nicely sometimes and some definitely fun bits.

 

If it had been a bit imaginative with the aliens it would have been a much better film, but they are essentially a Matrix rip off that opts for the fallacy that lots of things moving fast must be exciting, and it very rarely is.

 

The end was more than a bit silly, the Cruiser gurning away when he presumably doesn’t realise he has been doomed to live forever. That’s if the Omega’s magic keeps working. And if it doesn’t, how did it cast him back in time when it was dying? And how did it cast him back to a time where it is dead and he is alive? Answers on a postcard please!

 

The score was probably reduced by me watching Aliens (5/5) straight after. Now, that’s how you make a SF movie.

It's a pretty solid movie up until the last 1/2 hour and that rather large hole in logic kinda takes away from it, the manga  it's based on is worth a read, the enemy design isn't  brilliant IMO but the ending is far superior, as is usually the case when Hollywood movies  have crowds to please.

 

Also my version of the graphic novel read Japanese style  right to left , top to bottom,on Kobo , so that was interesting.

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Roller Boogie (1979) - I downloaded this after reading the blurb (disco, rollerskating, the mob), but not that it was a PG. I stopped watching this halfway through and the 'mob' hadn't even appeared at that point. Some half decent rollerskating and decent nipples can't even save this from a rock bottom score. 1/5

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6 hours ago, lolly said:

It's a pretty solid movie up until the last 1/2 hour and that rather large hole in logic kinda takes away from it, the manga  it's based on is worth a read, the enemy design isn't  brilliant IMO but the ending is far superior, as is usually the case when Hollywood movies  have crowds to please.

 

Also my version of the graphic novel read Japanese style  right to left , top to bottom,on Kobo , so that was interesting.


Yes, there is a lot to like in it. To be honest I didn’t think it started well either, it was the middle of the film where the meat was.

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