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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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Most Dangerous Game - 2/5 (Prime)

 

Do you remember Quibi, that batshit streaming platform that totally wasn't an ill-judged pyramid scheme? Of course you don't, you need to retain important info like your favourite ice-cream flavour and which are the comfiest socks in your draw. But anyway, Quibi sold their library for relative buttons and Amazon took one of the series - Most Dangerous Game - and bolted all the episodes together, sort of like a reverse The Irishman, which almost certainly should be watched on a 4:3 screen in 10-minute chunks.

 

Plot? Oh Christoph Waltz creates a sort of Running Man type hunt, with Liam Hemsworth the hunted. Huntee? And it's pretty rubbish, so don't watch it. Not quite The Amityville Playhouse or Essex Vendetta bad, but a waste of talent. Hmmm, no a waste of Liam Hemsworth. Hmmm. A waste of time. Stupid Quibi.

 

(#545... 455 to go!)

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3 hours ago, Ry said:

I quite fancied that and then reviews were absolutely brutal.

 

Unfairly, I think. Saw it yesterday.

 

It's like someone in Hollywood read the excellent book, then thought, "we really need the girl to grow up into Daisy Edgar Jones much quicker than in the book so lets compress the first, say 55% of the novel", and "what's with all this description of marshes and wildlife shit? Cut THAT out".

 

Then they gave that to a screenwriter as Cliffnotes, all the plot points, stripped of the writing, and then they made a film of that.

 

None of the magic of the main character's perspective is there in the direction or cinematography.

 

Edgar-Jones is excellent (she's a real talent, despite getting ignored in the post Normal People for the other lad) but, again, someone involved in the production design decided to make her too clean and coiffed, which is daft.

 

3/5 for Daisy Edgar Jones.

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8 hours ago, Jamie John said:

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) - Cinema

 

image.thumb.png.0451779ef0fce7e11dcec1d99c293cad.png

 

Went on a movie date with the wife to see this. I didn't know much about it going in, apart from that it was set in the deep south and was based on a best-selling novel. It started off quite promisingly - a dead body is discovered in the marshes of 1960s South Carolina and the blame immediately falls on 'The Marsh Girl', a local recluse - but it quickly became a fairly trite and predictable love story with a half-baked bit of courtroom drama thrown in. By the end it had reached peak soppyness, and reminded me of the time I was forced to watch The Notebook.

 

I dunno. It wasn't godawful or anything, but I won't be watching it again. My wife liked it, so there's that.

 

She should read the book, it's excellent.

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21 hours ago, teddymeow said:

Terminator: Dark Fate

 

Or, as I am renaming it, Terminator: Dank Fart.

 

I can't believe this is from the director of Deadpool!! It was just flat. Linda Hamilton can swear!! Wow!! Arnie has taken up curtain making!! Who cares?!

 

Weightless CG effects and another wannabe Robert Patrick baddie.

 

2 (but really, in actual fact, 1) evil robots / 5.

Couldn’t agree more with this. Terrible film 

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RRR

I'm not a Bollywood fan. It's never really been a style of film that has appealed but seeing the good reviews this has got here, I gave it a go.

 

Wow!

 

This was so entertaining. The performances of the two leading men, Ram Charan and N T Rama Rao Jr, are mesmerising. Charan especially displays the complexity of his character with just his eyes.

 

The music numbers are undoubtedly catchy, with the set piece dance at the party being a highlight of the film. The action is well-directed and inventive throughout.

 

Thoroughly recommended.

 

4.5 tigers / 5

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Headshot (2016) - Netflix

 

image.png.a7b80a0b1e551c01f82b15b12ce777b4.png

 

I really fancied watching The Raid again, but unfortunately it's not on any of my streaming services, so this looked like the next best thing, seeing as it was also an Indonesian action move, starring the same bloke. Unlike The Raid, however, this was pretty paptacular. The fights, when they came, were mildly interesting, but focused a lot more on ultraviolence and characters using various weapons to maim each other than they did on creatively-choreographed martial arts. The bits between the fights, meanwhile, were woefully written and entirely uninteresting, dragging the film out for every minute of its two hour runtime. Best watched with something nearby to distract you in the non-fighty bits.

 

2/5

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21 hours ago, Festoon said:

 

Unfairly, I think. Saw it yesterday.

 

It's like someone in Hollywood read the excellent book, then thought, "we really need the girl to grow up into Daisy Edgar Jones much quicker than in the book so lets compress the first, say 55% of the novel", and "what's with all this description of marshes and wildlife shit? Cut THAT out".

 

Then they gave that to a screenwriter as Cliffnotes, all the plot points, stripped of the writing, and then they made a film of that.

 

None of the magic of the main character's perspective is there in the direction or cinematography.

 

Edgar-Jones is excellent (she's a real talent, despite getting ignored in the post Normal People for the other lad) but, again, someone involved in the production design decided to make her too clean and coiffed, which is daft.

 

3/5 for Daisy Edgar Jones.

 

Watching her in Under the Banner of Heaven right now and shes really good at playing an annoying nutcase mormon. They are all intentionally annoying in the show though. 

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Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

 

It's just stupid people doing stupid things...AGAIN. It just feels like Fallen Kingdom 2.0.

It's all a bunch of random set pieces, combined with a terrible plot and nostalgia bait (that doesn't hit) where only the bad guys are in any real danger. At no point do you fear for the heroes.

Chris Pratt tries to control various dinosaurs numerous times with his outstretched arms like it's a super power and treats them like dogs, it's hillarious. But I guess it's a "human-animal bond based on mutual respect" 🙄


Also PLEASE make Raptors a threat again, stop trying to make them relatable by showing them understanding human speech and going on mother/son hunting trips.


Thank God we'll always have Jurassic Park because these just keep getting worse.

 

1/5

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2 hours ago, Stigweard said:

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

 

It's just stupid people doing stupid things...AGAIN. It just feels like Fallen Kingdom 2.0.

It's all a bunch of random set pieces, combined with a terrible plot and nostalgia bait (that doesn't hit) where only the bad guys are in any real danger. At no point do you fear for the heroes.

Chris Pratt tries to control various dinosaurs numerous times with his outstretched arms like it's a super power and treats them like dogs, it's hillarious. But I guess it's a "human-animal bond based on mutual respect" 🙄

 

No! No! He's the ALPHA, a superior, military-style, outdoorswoodman who RESPECTS wildlife therefore it DOES WHAT HE SAYS.

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14 hours ago, Festoon said:

 

No! No! He's the ALPHA, a superior, military-style, outdoorswoodman who RESPECTS wildlife therefore it DOES WHAT HE SAYS.

 

Have you seen the film because there's one moment right at the end around this point where I just laughed very loud and shouted "fuck off" at the TV.

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32 minutes ago, Stigweard said:

 

Have you seen the film because there's one moment right at the end arpund this point where I just laughed very loud and shouted "fuck off" at the TV.

 

Yes indeed. I know exactly what you're talking about.

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Solaris

 

Been on my list to watch for years, really enjoyed it. It's very "Arthur C Clarke", so much so I had to check it wasn't actually written by him. Looks like I need to check out more of Stanislaw Lem's work. 

 

4/5

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The Big Racket (1976)

Solid Italian crime flick this from Enzo G. Castellari. A gang demands protection money from small businesses, and it's up to Inspector Fabio Testi to bring some stylish justice. If you've watched any of these you'll be in familiar territory. It has everything you want from Poliziotteschi including shoot outs and car chases. The final third of the film really delivers thanks to the quality set-up. Great soundtrack too.

 

4/5

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On 29/07/2022 at 22:59, Jamie John said:

Actually, just watch this from Ong-Bak (2003):

 

 

Much better.

I remember loving  this when it came out (I think I early early twenties). 
 

I don’t think this has aged well at all unfortunately and really is locked in the bloodsport/kick-boxer mentality. 
 

The fight choreography is so choppy and I’ve no idea what the strange stances transitions between them are about from the main guy. I used to to Muay Thai as a boy and don’t remember any of that outside of the ritual displays you do before a bout. It was amazing at the time though. 
 

The Raid in my view completely outclasses it though. 

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Belle (or The Dragon and The Freckled Princess) (2021)

 

The latest from Mamoru Hosoda. A loose retelling of Beauty and The Beast set partly in an online social network.

 

Just stunning! Visually, musically, thematically.

 

5 followers / 5.

 

 

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Akira (1988) - Netflix

 

image.thumb.png.6a46c54770092d31a8ff5c23cc4b4969.png

 

It had been a good 10 years since I last saw this, so when it popped up on Netflix I thought I'd give it another go. A few things struck me particularly this time around.

 

First, it absolutely holds up. Some of the animation remains just fucking awesome: Kaneda's bike slide, Tetsuo's transformation at the end, the nightmare sequences with the freaky children's toys - all of that stuff is still really great, and it's hard to believe that this came out in the late 80s. Compare it with what was going on in the west in 1988 - the aforementioned Bloodsport with its comedy testicle punching; Schwarzenegger phoning it in in Red Head; fucking Crocodile Dundee - and this is leagues ahead.

 

Second, I'd forgotten how violent this was. Again, when you consider it came out 34 years ago, some of the stuff where Tetsuo is just straight-up exploding dudes with his mind powers, in pretty graphic detail, took me by surprise, as well as the bits where you see dozens of innocent civilians being shot or caught up in explosions. It's hard to imagine any of that sort of thing in a film from time that wasn't a bloody horror movie.

 

Third, and I've no doubt that I'm not the first to make this comparison, but Squaresoft ripped off this film shamelessly when they made FF7. Entire images have more or less been lifted straight from it. Some that I noticed were:

  • The oddly spherical and knobbly slide in playground in the middle of Midgar being very similar to the one Testuo climbs in the dream sequence pictured above:
Spoiler

image.thumb.png.444f346f20a9000753ff8ce3100a00eb.png

image.thumb.png.c234ef89d11853a22e25e235c2453130.png

 

  • The entire bike chase section at the start of Akira being an obvious influence on the motorbike escape from Shinra HQ:
Spoiler

image.thumb.png.fa37b20ad336b8777221593704b3db82.png

image.thumb.png.3333316015f61128fa7eea3a76d36983.png

 

  • Tetsuo and Sephiroth walking in and out of fire:
Spoiler

image.thumb.png.57fc984888ed862a7853757c6701a618.png

image.png.d41a0ffbcbca06c41d486040b517eb07.png

 

I could go on (FF7's Midgar and Akira's Neotokyo being very similar; AVALANCHE and the resistance movement in Akira going around blowing stuff up and being dubbed 'terrorists'; Akira himself and Jenova in FF7 - two extremely powerful, otherworldly beings who are kept in cold storage and then exhumed by the antagonists of both film and game, with catastrophic results). Like I say, I'm sure I'm not the first to draw these comparisons, but one I saw the first one it was difficult to stop.

 

Anyway, Akira remains a must see.

 

5/5

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The Old Ways

 

Exorcism horror based in unnamed rural Mexico, but with a very blasé approach to whether they're speaking in Spanish or Nahuatl.

 

It's almost fine. One or two good moments, but generally the actors are sweatless and polished, with immaculate makeup. Like Jurassic World 3. 

 

It's something stupid like 94% on RT, but an absolute waste of fascinating subject matter.

 

1.5/5

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