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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


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Both on Netflix and I'd avoid them like the plague.

 

Robert

A haunted doll and apparently, based upon real events!  It was so laughably bad, I only managed 20 minutes.  The acting seemed weird - I'm not sure if the actors were even being directed.  Everything about their dialogue was odd.  The Robert doll actually made me laugh. 

Spoiler

robert1.jpg.cd0944348d1c4c93004b251541939d1c.jpg

0/5

 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This remake/reboot, I'm not sure really, was utterly missing the entire point of the original film. It's gory and actually felt more like another Halloween movie - it reminded me a lot of the Rob Zombie version of that film.  It's not as bad as Robert but I didn't really see much point in this at all.  It's short and it essentially has a single, linnear plot line that takes place over less than 24 hours. 

1/5

 

Also on Netflix

 

The Man From Toronto

I actually quite enjoyed a lot of this.  It's a comedy and I thought the comedy parts actually worked.  The basic storyline is that Chris Rock is mistaken for The Man From Toronto (think John Wick but he also does a fair amount of torturing for hire).  It's a bit too long and the ending really jumped the shark but it's worth a watch.

3/5

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On 18/07/2022 at 22:07, Silent Runner said:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1659337/

 

An introvert freshman is taken under the wings of two seniors who welcome him to the real world.

 

Set in the early 90's a nerdy kid is taken under the wing of some much cooler, older kids in their last year of high school. They look out for each other, teach each other about books, music and films (The Smiths!, Catcher in The Rye!, The Rocky Horror Picture Show!) and all learn some life lessons. 

 

Not sure how this one passed me by back in the day but watched it this evening and thought it was pretty good. The leads are mostly excellent - Emma Watson and Erza Miller - in particular but the lead kid is a bit of a drip. There's a good support cast including cousin Greg from Succession and Paul Rudd. It plays out quite predictably apart from a slightly pointless reveal near the end. 

 

There was a plot strand in it that I found kind of funny though. The 3 main kids hear Heroes by David Bowie on the radio and none of them know what it is. I just thought it was a little far-fetched that 3 hipsters wouldn't know one of Bowies biggest songs for a plot bit. 

 

Also it's kind of sad seeing how good Miller is here and how off the rails they've gone in recent months. 

 

Good 90's American time-capsule.

3.5/5

 

Him being a drip sort of works for this I thought.

 

The book (written by the director) had Landslide by Fleetwood Mac as its tunnel song, which definitely seems more plausible to me as a vaguely niche song.

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The Grey Man

 

Chris Evans has a whale of a time. The story's forgettable by the numbers action guff. The acting's fine (except for Evans who isn't what you'd call good but is incredible fun to watch), the direction's a bit all over the place and the action itself swings between oddly lightweight considering how much destruction happens and just plain average. The end showdown is preposterous in its teenage boy fantasy of testosterone fuelled MANLINESS and purposely undercuts what would have been a fun and unexpected subverting of the genre.

 

It's fine. Must have cost a lot, but I expect I'll have forgotten absolutely everything about it by tomorrow. I already can't remember anyone but Ryan Gosling's character's name.

 

2.5/5

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Rambo: First Blood (Remastered) 4/5

 

Despite being a video store staple as a kid, I don't think that I've ever watched this all the way through in one go.  So watched it on a whim and it's an immensely tight, well constructed film.  Possibly the last reminder that Stallone could act before he got steroids, ego and cocaine.

 

The only off note is Richard Crenna who simply spouts cliches.  How the hell we got from this to the ridiculously OTT Part III I have no idea. (Edit: Steroids, ego and cocaine probably.)

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Robocop (Director's Cut) (cinema)

In honour of its 35th anniversary, saw this on the big screen, after only ever seeing it on TV.

 

Amazing and intense. More than I was expecting.

 

It is such a tightly-made film with not an ounce of fat, and yet within just a few minutes on-screen, we care deeply about Murphy and Lewis.

 

What with the Bond films I've seen and soon the OG Star Trek films, I'm appreciating seeing these in the cinema all over again.

 

6/5

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Primer

 

Not bad, but I did kinda lose track of everything that was going on, and some things kinda came out of nowhere or were (seemingly) introduced poorly. But it was entertaining. The look and feel is super cheap, but in an oddly good way, it felt like a feature length version of an episode of Night Springs from the Alan Wake games. 

 

3/5

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16 minutes ago, Thor said:

Primer

 

Not bad, but I did kinda lose track of everything that was going on, and some things kinda came out of nowhere or were (seemingly) introduced poorly. But it was entertaining. The look and feel is super cheap, but in an oddly good way, it felt like a feature length version of an episode of Night Springs from the Alan Wake games. 

 

3/5

 

Primer definitely benefits from repeat viewing.

 

 

There are lots of Primer explainers online but I like the DOS styling of this one.

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9 hours ago, Jamie John said:

Under the Skin (2013) - Blu-Ray

 

image.thumb.png.c02393e755636fd1e0ee03a06c709343.png

 

I happened to pop into CEX yesterday and saw this on the shelf for a few quid. I hadn't watched it in about five years, so decided to give it another spin, and I was pleased to find that it remains just as brilliant as it did the first time I saw it.

 

Scarlett Johansson - Hollywood starlet, Black Widow, 21st century sex symbol - on the grey, rainy streets of Glasgow, driving a Ford Transit, passing a Greggs, asking for directions to the M8, is just so jarringly fucking surreal, even more so than the parts of the film which are more deliberately surreal (like when she's leading pigeon chested men with throbbing erections to a fate worse than death). I think it must be the juxtaposition that does it. She's just so very, very good looking, in a rarefied, exotic sort of way. She doesn't belong anywhere near a Greggs. Greggs is a Scarlett Johansson-free zone. And yet she's there, right there on the screen in front of you, or she's driving through a Scottish council estate under yellow sodium lighting, or watching Tommy Cooper with a plate of fast-congealing beans on her lap, sat on the same faux-leather cream sofa that my nan had in the early 2000s.

 

It's almost like it's a joke, or a sketch of some kind - you keep expecting her to break character and turn to the camera, or for part of the set to collapse behind her - but there is no joke, and, in fact, there's so very little levity in this film whatsoever that the weirdness and the imagery and the music and the unrelenting fucking menace of it all combine to create this completely singular, anxiety-inducing atmosphere that I found utterly compelling. It's an inspired piece of casting, as good as Kingsley in Sexy Beast, the director's second film.

 

And the beach scene with the baby was perhaps even more horrendous than the first time I watched it because I knew it was coming. One of the most horrifying things I've ever seen in a film, and not a drop of blood nor line of dialogue in it.

 

Superb. Why watch new films when you can just watch old ones you already know are fantastic?

 

5/5

Brilliant review, nice one! 👌

 

One of my fave movies that.

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13 hours ago, Plissken said:

Rambo: First Blood (Remastered) 4/5

 

Despite being a video store staple as a kid, I don't think that I've ever watched this all the way through in one go.  So watched it on a whim and it's an immensely tight, well constructed film.  Possibly the last reminder that Stallone could act before he got steroids, ego and cocaine.

 

The only off note is Richard Crenna who simply spouts cliches.  How the hell we got from this to the ridiculously OTT Part III I have no idea. (Edit: Steroids, ego and cocaine probably.)


I was watching this on itv4 one night, and during Stallone’s excellent emotional denouement they played a pre-recorded sting for World of Superbikes or something, presumably by accident.

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Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank - 2/5 (screener... think it's widely available though)

 

Fun animation, riffing on Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles, completely let down by a pretty awful Ricky Gervais voiceover, which grates throughout. I appreciate names need to sell films, but there must be dozens of known voice artists that could have done a better, more agreeable job. Shame, as the rest of the film is pretty enjoyable, if not exactly going to linger in the memory too long.

 

(#557)

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17 hours ago, Jamie John said:

Scarlett Johansson - Hollywood starlet, Black Widow, 21st century sex symbol - on the grey, rainy streets of Glasgow, driving a Ford Transit, passing a Greggs, asking for directions to the M8, is just so jarringly fucking surreal, even more so than the parts of the film which are more deliberately surreal (like when she's leading pigeon chested men with throbbing erections to a fate worse than death). I think it must be the juxtaposition that does it. She's just so very, very good looking, in a rarefied, exotic sort of way. She doesn't belong anywhere near a Greggs. Greggs is a Scarlett Johansson-free zone. And yet she's there, right there on the screen in front of you, or she's driving through a Scottish council estate under yellow sodium lighting, or watching Tommy Cooper with a plate of fast-congealing beans on her lap, sat on the same faux-leather cream sofa that my nan had in the early 2000s.

 

Apparently they filmed a lot of the scenes of her driving the van (crew hidden in the back) as improvisations on the streets of Glasgow with her genuinely  trying to pick up random (non actor) fellas walking the streets - some of whom, IIRC, made the cut (with permissions of course). The crew were surprised at how many rejections she got and that virtually none of the men she sidled up alongside recognised her. I guess, out of context, many highly famous faces might be easily passed by.

 

Incredible film and Mica Levi's score is one of my all time favourites as, unlike most scores, it is a very fine listen outside of the movie.

 

EDIT: I can't believe that Jonathan Glazer has only directed three movies! I've not seen Birth but given the stellar quality of this and of Sexy Beast I probably need to rectify that ASAP as the premise sounds intriguing.

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5 minutes ago, Mike S said:

 

Apparently they filmed a lot of the scenes of her driving the van (crew hidden in the back) as improvisations on the streets of Glasgow with her genuinely  trying to pick up random (non actor) fellas walking the streets - some of whom, IIRC, made the cut (with permissions of course). The crew were surprised at how many rejections she got and that virtually none of the men she sidled up alongside recognised her. I guess, out of context, many highly famous faces might be easily passed by.

 

Incredible film and Mica Levi's score is one of my all time favourites as, unlike most scores, it is a very fine listen outside of the movie.

 

EDIT: I can't believe that Jonathan Glazer has only directed three movies! I've not seen Birth but given the stellar quality of this and of Sexy Beast I probably need to rectify that ASAP as the premise sounds intriguing.

 

Aye - I watched the making of docs afterwards and for some shots they had about ten cameras hidden in the van.

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47 minutes ago, Mike S said:

 

EDIT: I can't believe that Jonathan Glazer has only directed three movies! I've not seen Birth but given the stellar quality of this and of Sexy Beast I probably need to rectify that ASAP as the premise sounds intriguing.

 

Birth left me cold at the time, but I'm not a huge Kidman fan. I find her very blank. Lauren Bacall was good in it, I recall.

 

Edit: He did make the Karmacoma video for Massive Attack, which was excellent.

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2 hours ago, Festoon said:

 

Birth left me cold at the time, but I'm not a huge Kidman fan. I find her very blank. Lauren Bacall was good in it, I recall.

 

Edit: He did make the Karmacoma video for Massive Attack, which was excellent.

 

I'm with you on Kidman, she is a very ordinary actress indeed. I shall still seek out the film and just hope she is not too distracting.

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The Man From Toronto (Netflix)

 

Action Comedy with Kevin Hart and Woody Harrelson. A few of the comedy parts were reasonably funny but Woody was wasted here, very mediocre effort. It's fine if you have nothing else on, but it's very meh.

 

2/5

 

 

 

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Bullet Train - 3/5 (Cinema)

 

This film gives a shit about logic, instead choosing to string a lot of punchy, stabby, ouchy fight scenes together, propped up by Brad Pitt and frenemies’ charisma.

 

Wonky accents, ludicrous stunts and massively OTT throughout, found the film to be entertaining nonsense done right. If you’ve not seen the recent trailers, skip them because they give a bit too much away, but even if you’ve not avoided them there is still some fun surprises waiting.

 

(#561)

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The Bad Guys

 

Pretty damn good in the end, after a shaky, scatty start.  
Fun plot and characters, Richard Ayoade aka Moss was superb, and some very clever animation sequences.

 

3.5

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1 hour ago, Thor said:

Contact

 

Why did I wait so long to watch this? It's very good despite a slow start. Was funny seeing Matthew McConaughey talk about relativity "again", he was really good in this, and with hindsight I feel it's clear that his "what happens now?" line in Interstellar is a nice reference to Jodie Foster's same line in this. Some very clear inspiration for Mass Effect here too (the Mass Relays are incredibly similar to the machine in this film). The film was also ahead of its time on the issues of women in higher roles. Foster was excellent (I don't always rate her, but when she's good she's very good), as was Angela Basset (does she age? She looks exactly the same in MI: Fallout). I really enjoyed this, and liked how it ended. 

 

4/5

 

Angela Basset has aged about 3 years in the last 30. They need to examine her genes.

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Luck

 

Really poor new animation on Apple+. Truly nonsensical, random plot, cringingly unfunny and stilted script. Almost impressively boring waste of some okay visuals. We managed an hour and bailed. Avoid, and consider yourselves lucky.

 

0/5

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Prey

 

Lifted my comments from the other thread. 
 

Wow. A Great Predator movie. 
 

Not going to win any Oscar’s but the threat felt real, the central characters were believable and worked. It wasn’t rushed in how it builds up and I imagine inspiration has been sought from The Revenant in capturing some of the atmosphere of the wild around that time. 
 

The tone and feel reminded me a little bit of The Grey (the Liam Neeson wolf film which despite ropey reviews I rather enjoyed). 
 

4/5

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X

 

Not as cool or sexy or scary as the hype and A24 label had me believe, but this was still decent with some interesting and surprising commentary too.  Pretty gory in places if you like that stuff (or not).  It’s a one and done, no need to see again film, but is enjoyable, self-aware, with some smart messages, and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

 

3.5

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Which reminds me…

 

Pleasure - 3.5/5 (MUBI)

 

This is an alright Swedish flick about a young woman trying to make it big on the US porn scene, which distinguishes itself by its unsparing view of the industry and its attitudes to consent. The main draw though is an excellent turn from Sofia Kappel, the actor playing the hopeful star. It’s extremely graphic (many roles are played by real life porn people, supplying some very decent turns also), and at times a very tough watch, but essentially tells a wholly unsurprising story.

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4 hours ago, Triple A said:

X

 

Not as cool or sexy or scary as the hype and A24 label had me believe, but this was still decent with some interesting and surprising commentary too.  Pretty gory in places if you like that stuff (or not).  It’s a one and done, no need to see again film, but is enjoyable, self-aware, with some smart messages, and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

 

3.5

I liked X a lot.

 

There's a prequel film coming out this year which was shot back to back with X. I'm really liking the trailer.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Bazjam said:

prequel film coming out this year which was shot back to back with X

I'm intruiged by the idea of a prequel given what was seeded in X - so will see that too 🙂

Since seeing X I've also stuck The Innkeepers on my watchlist, as Ti West is def one to, well, watch.

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Just now, Triple A said:

I'm intruiged by the idea of a prequel given what was seeded in X - so will see that too 🙂

Since seeing X I've also stuck The Innkeepers on my watchlist, as Ti West is def one to, well, watch.

His films are always worth watching. House Of The Devil is his best I'd say.

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