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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


Raoull duke
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Moonfall

 

Oh my god. I don’t know where to start. It’s chock full of laugh out loud moments. Nothing makes any sense. Every single concept is stolen from somewhere else.
 

Then there is:

Spoiler

Kaspersky. In the space shuttle. What the fuck!!!

 

The acting is… I’m flabbergasted. It’s absolutely hilariously beautifully awful in every way.


5/5 for the unintended lols. A must see.

 

 

 

 

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Went to see Bullet Train at the cinema - after hating the trailer - purely to have an excuse to hang out with a friend. 
 

Walked in after two pints, with the lowest of expectations. 
 

What a film! It’s nothing more than it aims to be, but what it is is perfectly formed. 
 

It’s a brilliant ensemble film, and not a Brad pit cheesy vehicle. Loved tangerine and lemon, loved it. 
 

Watching this after Top gun, RRR and Everything Everywhere all at once, has really cemented to me how much marvel needs to fuck of when it comes to what popcorn fun can really strive to be. 

Here’s to the resurgence of action films that lack cinematic universes. 
 

5/5*
 

(* by which I means it’s a great cheesy action film, not that it’s better than godfather or anything. Judging it for what it intends to be) 

 

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Shang-chi ATTR 4/5

 

a delightful diversion from the usual fare, with some excellent turns, especially you-know-who. So the chi is a little ropey in places…

 

oh em gee it autocorrects cgi to chi!

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Prey (2022)

 

Potentially my favouite film ever. And the Predator conitnues to be an example of how Space Marines could be represented on film.

 

5 clouds of blood out of 5

 

prey-trailer-040-701x292.jpg

 

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Blade Runner (1980)
 

Watched this for the first time last night on Amazon Prime… It’s like watching Aliens or Predator or Nausicaä for the first time, you realise how many games were influenced by it, and so much other media… And mostly the visuals. I feel I’ve seen this film so many times without actually seeing it. Strange feeling of deja vu.

 

Seems fairly obvious that the film borrows from film noir and hardboiled detective genres in the same way Star Wars and Indiana Jones borrow from 1930s serials, but it works thematically and stylistically.

 

What bugged me was H. Ford’s voiceover… Really obvious descriptions to the point of insulting the viewer’s intelligence spoken in “you are hearing me talk” monotone.

 

3/5.

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45 minutes ago, Protocol Penguin said:

What bugged me was H. Ford’s voiceover… Really obvious descriptions to the point of insulting the viewer’s intelligence spoken in “you are hearing me talk” monotone.

Which version did you watch?

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52 minutes ago, Protocol Penguin said:

What bugged me was H. Ford’s voiceover… Really obvious descriptions to the point of insulting the viewer’s intelligence spoken in “you are hearing me talk” monotone.

 

That suggests that the version of Amazon Prime is the theatrical cut, which I find surprising! I'd assumed that by now, the Final Cut would have superseded it as the primary version on streaming services, while the theatrical, director's, and workprint cuts all stay restricted to physical copies.

 

We have an extensive thread about the differences between versions, if you care:

 

 

 

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@Thor @Nick R that’s the version I saw, the cinematic release! Didn’t know that the other cuts of the film vary in that way, if I’m being honest. Having no voiceover in the director’s cuts would be an immediate improvement!

 

(BTW, I still have no idea if the replicants were androids or cyborgs or manufactured clones.)

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On 10/08/2022 at 13:54, glb said:

Together - 1/5 (screener)

 

I like Sharon Horgan. I like James McAvoy. I don't like a Covid lockdown drama starring both of them mugging to camera, breaking the fourth wall in a film that is more annoying than entertaining. The only thing of interest I derived from it is I'm pretty sure the house it's filmed in is the same one in which the far superior series Motherland is set (which makes sense as Horgan created that show) Not quite the film equivalent of Gal Gadot going mad after one week of the pandemic and deciding a shit cover of Imagine will help heal the world but pretty close. I hated it.

Did we just become best friends?!

 

I too can’t stand that film, aren’t they just the most smug arsehole characters?  I used to quite fancy Horgan but that film put me right off!

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Scream (2022)

 

Went in with low expectations, and a presumption about the killer that proved to be right. But this was still a thoroughly entertaining revisit of Woodsboro and the ghost face killer. 

 

3/5

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54 minutes ago, Triple A said:

Did we just become best friends?!

 

I too can’t stand that film, aren’t they just the most smug arsehole characters?  I used to quite fancy Horgan but that film put me right off!


:hug:

 

It’s rubbish, isn’t it? If I could say anything positive I’d grimace and say with the intermittent Covid stats its well-meaning but hard to feel any empathy towards a pair of dickheads blathering on about aubergines. And, so. Much. Acting.

 

Urghh, load of shite.

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On 10/08/2022 at 23:26, mexos said:

Moonfall

 

Oh my god. I don’t know where to start. It’s chock full of laugh out loud moments. Nothing makes any sense. Every single concept is stolen from somewhere else.
 

Then there is:

  Hide contents

Kaspersky. In the space shuttle. What the fuck!!!

 

The acting is… I’m flabbergasted. It’s absolutely hilariously beautifully awful in every way.


5/5 for the unintended lols. A must see.

 


Agreed. It’s an incredible thing. And easily the stupidest film I’ve seen in many a moon. Genuinely mad premise, bonkers plot (like a nightmare mash-up of every disaster movie since Armageddon), abysmal script, bizarre characters (with uniformly awful performances). It also looks really shit.

 

But it’s sooooo apocalyptically stupid, that it’s either a 0/5 or 5/5 depending on the mood you’re in.

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The Killer Reserved Nine Seats (1974)

 

A middling giallo I'd never heard of until it popped up on Arrow Player. Lots of nudity? Check. Imaginative kills? Well, not so much. Some are downright disappointing for the genre (although there are a couple of good ones). I was struck by how the killer was like the one from Wes Craven's Scream: iconic looking mask, a long cloak, and somewhat bumbling and hurried in their approach. It's on the cusp of two stars, but gets a bump to 3 because of the really nice location, an old abandoned theatre.

 

3 out of 5

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Fallen (1998) - Amazon Prime

 

Never heard of this one but the excellent cast caught my eye so I gave it a look last night and it was good. Denzel Washington plays detective in a case with a demonic twist. Quite an unusual mash up of police film and the supernatural, with a light dash of horror. Great support from Donald Sutherland, James Gandolfini and John Goodman, and a neat twist that I didn’t see coming.

 

3/5

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1 hour ago, Nathan Wind said:

Fallen (1998) - Amazon Prime

 

Never heard of this one but the excellent cast caught my eye so I gave it a look last night and it was good. Denzel Washington plays detective in a case with a demonic twist. Quite an unusual mash up of police film and the supernatural, with a light dash of horror. Great support from Donald Sutherland, James Gandolfini and John Goodman, and a neat twist that I didn’t see coming.

 

3/5


quite literally a

 

Spoiler

Get-out claws 

 

after twisting an Exorcist-style ending.

 

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Nope - It must suck to be a black director and have people expect every film from you to be about race, as there seemed to be disappointment from certain quarters of the internet that there was nothing to tweet about in Peele's latest, but what he's actually delivered here is a creative and effective horror movie, and to be honest I fucking loved it.

 

Spoiler

It’s pure creature feature, turning the UFO itself into the monster, and you really want our heroes to succeed, even though their aim is just to document it’s existence. There is also a scale and expanse to its canyon setting and action that means this only could be done with this budget, much better than Hollywood blockbuster horror fare like IT where a fundamentally small scale film ended up with loads of bad CG jumpscare sequences plastered over it.


I’d honestly give it five stars, but it’s not as lean as it could be, there’s an extended thing about a 90s monkey sitcom that does tie in, but only indirectly and could have been dropped to make it fit under 2 hours. 4/5

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Boiling Point

 

I really thought I'd like this one more than I did. Stephen Graham is always great, there's loads of potential for drama in a restaurant and the whole thing was filmed in one take which is something I absolutely love.

 

It didn't really work for me though. Partly this was the setting itself - when you're doing the one take, handheld camera kind of thing, you need to really nail the small details and this didn't. I can see why they went for an open kitchen kind of layout, it kept all the drama focused in one place and meant the camera wasn't constantly going backwards and forwards through a single door, but then the film also needed the characters to speak openly and have conflict so there was this constant problem where you're aware that no bunch of chefs in any high end restaurant would act like that or speak like that while on public view. Also, the food looked shit. It just wasn't a convincing setting at all and that's a big problem when you've set your whole movie in a single location.

 

Also, the movie didn't really go anywhere. I was hugely disappointed when the event that finally precipated the full meltdown was exactly the one they had clearly signposted an hour previously; I thought they'd do something more clever than that. It was just all a bit predictable, then the ending was really abrupt.

 

There's still a lot to like - the cast is genuinely really good and it's a very intricately-made movie - but I was expecting more.

 

2/5

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The Batman 

 

Some nice shots and generally well presented but found it pretty dull, lacking any ‘wow’ moments. The sound, music and environments are the films main strengths. Cat woman character is a bit cringe and Paul Danos Riddler felt like a tired trope.

 

2/5

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2 hours ago, Garwoofoo said:

Boiling Point

 

I really thought I'd like this one more than I did. Stephen Graham is always great, there's loads of potential for drama in a restaurant and the whole thing was filmed in one take which is something I absolutely love.

 

It didn't really work for me though. Partly this was the setting itself - when you're doing the one take, handheld camera kind of thing, you need to really nail the small details and this didn't. I can see why they went for an open kitchen kind of layout, it kept all the drama focused in one place and meant the camera wasn't constantly going backwards and forwards through a single door, but then the film also needed the characters to speak openly and have conflict so there was this constant problem where you're aware that no bunch of chefs in any high end restaurant would act like that or speak like that while on public view. Also, the food looked shit. It just wasn't a convincing setting at all and that's a big problem when you've set your whole movie in a single location.

 

Also, the movie didn't really go anywhere. I was hugely disappointed when the event that finally precipated the full meltdown was exactly the one they had clearly signposted an hour previously; I thought they'd do something more clever than that. It was just all a bit predictable, then the ending was really abrupt.

 

There's still a lot to like - the cast is genuinely really good and it's a very intricately-made movie - but I was expecting more.

 

2/5

 

I rated this a bit higher (3/5), but agree with a lot of what you say. The final shot actually got a laugh from me, which probably wasn't the director's intention. Also, for a film about a chef, it's really distracting how a lot of the food preparation is out of shot of the camera. No doubt this was a conscious choice to make the logistics of doing a one shot take a bit easier, but seeing them occasionally pretend to chop some food up took me out of the film.

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7 hours ago, RubberJohnny said:

Nope - It must be shitty to be a black director and have people expect every film from you to be about race, as there seemed to be disappointment from certain quarters of the internet that there was nothing to tweet about in Peele's latest, but what he's actually delivered here is a creative and effective horror movie, and to be honest I fucking loved it.

 

  Hide contents

It’s pure creature feature, turning the UFO itself into the monster, and you really want our heroes to succeed, even though their aim is just to document it’s existence. There is also a scale and expanse to its canyon setting and action that means this only could be done with this budget, much better than Hollywood blockbuster horror fare like IT where a fundamentally small scale film ended up with loads of bad CG jumpscare sequences plastered over it.


I’d honestly give it five stars, but it’s not as lean as it could be, there’s an extended thing about a 90s monkey sitcom that does tie in, but only indirectly and could have been dropped to make it fit under 2 hours. 4/5

It felt like Tremors to me but without the charm. I wasn't too enamoured.

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Alien: Covenant (2017):

 

The positives of this film are it looks great and is very competently made and shows Ridley Scott can still do the technical side in his sleep.

 

The major problem of this film is that it somehow manages to both undo the film it is a narrative direct sequel to (Prometheus) and retrospectively by its sheer existence makes the entire Alien film series worse. The cast are entirely disposable and forgettable outside of Michael Fassbender's artificial person(s) and the scene straight out of a slasher film was very WTF.

 

2.5/5

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Aliens - Special Edition (1986/1991):

 

The James Cameron approved cut of this film is pretty great, some added backstory to give some motivation. For a 36 year old effects heavy film, it more than holds up. In terms of its reputation as an action film, it's kind of surprising how relatively little action there is in it and how few fucking marines they feel it's necessary to send on missions, LOL, not to mention how most of them bite it ASAP too.

 

4.5/5

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