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Rate the last film you watched out of 5


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The Forgotten Battle - Netflix

 

A hefty Dutch WWII film charting the battle for The Scheldt during Operation Market Garden, and so named because the Americans weren’t involved so no big Hollywood movies get made about that shit. It tells its tale via three main characters - a Dutch soldier fighting for the Germans, a British airborne trooper who falls in with the Canadians that led the allied push, and a Dutch resistance member. It’s absolutely harrowing and incredibly tense at times, well acted and visually sumptuous. A very good war movie.

 

I’m dropping half a point for some uneven pacing, but that’s my only real criticism. 

 

4.5/5

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The Brain (1988)

It's an alright B-movie creature thingy about an evil psychologist brainwashing people with the aid of an alien brain and a regional TV show. A good effort considering it probably had quite a low budget, but despite a bit of pluck it wasn't quite daft enough, felt a little too serious somehow and lacked any humour. It also tries to do too much and falls down, not quite conspiracy thriller, not quite gooey creature horror. It's not awful though.

 

2.5/5

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20 hours ago, glb said:

Do Revenge - 3/5 (Netflix)

 

Gets by on the charms of Maya Hawke and Camila Mendes, plus a decent soundtrack but is a bit long and a bit too in love with itself by the end. Fun, disposable rehash of Strangers on a Train.

 

(#709)

 

Do Revenge 2/5

 

Just doesn't work. Trying to do 90's movies but it just doesn't have to spark or the zing. The plot is dragged out, the attacks are lazy and it's really got nothing to say, no insight. Main two cast are good but there's nothing there for them chew on.

 

Unacceptably long at 2 hours.

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Unfair Exchanges (1984)

Strange TV drama written by Ken Campbell and starring Julie Walters as a single mother trying to cope with receiving unwanted phone calls. Very contemporary for the time, the tone stirs up feeling of paranoia around modern phone technology, for the early 80s anyway. It has a giallo feel about it, mysterious deaths, bizarre twists, unanswered questions and twisted relationships. Maybe a bit too dated for more modern viewers, it feels inspired by the transition from the GPO to privatised British Telecom which was a big shift at the time, the modernisation of the phone network.

 

3.5/5

 

 

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Jurassic Park III (2001)

 

Oof, just, oof!!

 

JP has a timeless quality to it. I could watch it over and over and not get bored.

 

TLW has moments of brilliance and humour sprinkled across the runtime.

 

JPIII is an absolute mess of bits from the first book that didn't get used and sub-par effects. Sam Neill back as Alan Grant is awesome but the supporting cast (including William. H. Macy) bring nothing to the table.

 

Amazing to think that this director also made Honey, I Shrunk The Kids, Rocketeer and Captain America!!!

 

1 steaming dino turd / 5

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Violent City (1970)

 

Italian crime movie in which Charles Bronson is a hitman who takes three bullets off some gangsters and is left for dead. But he wakes up in prison, alive and well. When he gets out, he goes on a revenge mission. Pacing is languid. Don't expect a bullet fest like any of his later eighties films. There's action at the beginning and some at the end, with one standout scene at a racetrack somewhere in the middle.

 

Came out in 1970 so probably made in the late sixties which explains why there's an obligatory scene with Bronson driving a dune buggy across the beach. Every sixties film has a dune buggy. It's tradition. As Italian crime flicks go, not the best, but not the worst.

 

3 out of 5

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)

 

This was bloody amazing, just so full of visual delights and imagination. It makes me want to have a home cinema. Such a shame it didn't do well at the box office, but it does feel like a film out o its time, and not in a bad way. My one criticism is the male lead wasn't quite right. As much as it hurts to say.... *deep breath* ChrisPrattplayingStarlordwouldhavebeenamuchbetterfit *washes out mouth*.

 

5 octopuses playing drums out of 5

 

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It looks completely brilliant is all you can say in its favour. It has nothing else to recommend it whatsoever - the atrocious script benefits from being obscured by the abysmal performances.

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Slashlorette Party - 1/5 (Prime)

 

I will happily champion low-budget films on occasion, especially from the horror genre, where a lot of directors and crew will cut their teeth and stretch their budget in creative ways. This is not one of those occasions. Not quite The Bezonians levels of appalling (and offensive), but adult film levels of acting, nonsensical character actions and barely hidden cheapness do not for an enjoyable throwaway experience make. There's low-budget and competent, and there's low-budget and shite. This is the latter.

 

(#711)

 

 

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I think all Luc Besson's films are either amazing or terrible depending on who you are. 

I love everything he does including this and Lucy. Yes they are a mess and kind of dumb, but at least they're invented and have a Europeanisms about them. They never take themselves too seriously, that action is always top notch. 

DeHaan is terrible but Delevingne has enough sass to make up for the shortfall. 

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2 hours ago, Sidewaysbob said:

I think all Luc Besson's films are either amazing or terrible depending on who you are. 

I love everything he does including this and Lucy. Yes they are a mess and kind of dumb, but at least they're invented and have a Europeanisms about them. They never take themselves too seriously, that action is always top notch. 

DeHaan is terrible but Delevingne has enough sass to make up for the shortfall. 


As a rule I’ve loved everything he’s done. Lucy is a masterpiece by comparison with Valerian, by the simple virtue of it being a fairly decent, very watchable film.

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Bessons got a bonkers filmography.  Smaller scale classics like Nikita and Leon alongside big budget visually astonishing stuff like the fifth element and Valerian, then out there stuff like the one that had a woman riding a pterodactyl on the cover, weird stuff like Lucy, then stuff that seems like it’s blatantly just for the pay check like that Deniro comedy.

 

His last film (Anna) felt a bit like it was trying to cash in on his reputation for films with stand out female hero’s, but was a bit pants but has an amazing action scene midway through that is well worth watching on its own.  Rest of the film didn’t live up to this bit though.

 

 

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6 hours ago, Sidewaysbob said:

I think all Luc Besson's films are either amazing or terrible depending on who you are. 

I love everything he does including this and Lucy. Yes they are a mess and kind of dumb, but at least they're invented and have a Europeanisms about them. They never take themselves too seriously, that action is always top notch. 

DeHaan is terrible but Delevingne has enough sass to make up for the shortfall. 

 

Exactly. Id rather a film tey something new than be boring. That's one reason I respect m Night Shamyalan so much. The Happening isn't great, but fuck he took a dumb idea and gave it its best shot.

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There are many things Valerian isn’t, but boring is certainly not one of them. Making a spectacular looking film so mind-numbingly dull was an incredible feat, but that’s exactly what Besson managed to do.

 

But if you can find anything positive to say about The Happening, and you respect the hack who made it, everything you’ve said so far makes complete sense.

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6 hours ago, George Clooney said:

Bessons got a bonkers filmography.  Smaller scale classics like Nikita and Leon alongside big budget visually astonishing stuff like the fifth element and Valerian, then out there stuff like the one that had a woman riding a pterodactyl on the cover, weird stuff like Lucy, then stuff that seems like it’s blatantly just for the pay check like that Deniro comedy.

 

His last film (Anna) felt a bit like it was trying to cash in on his reputation for films with stand out female hero’s, but was a bit pants but has an amazing action scene midway through that is well worth watching on its own.  Rest of the film didn’t live up to this bit though.

 

 

 

So that restaurant was just filled with that guy's bodyguards? Not bad employment perks.

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10 hours ago, ZOK said:

There are many things Valerian isn’t, but boring is certainly not one of them. Making a spectacular looking film so mind-numbingly dull was an incredible feat, but that’s exactly what Besson managed to do.

 

But if you can find anything positive to say about The Happening, and you respect the hack who made it, everything you’ve said so far makes complete sense.


Wahlbergs acting is amazingly bad to the point I laughed out loud several times….does that count as positive?

 

M Night is such a weird one.  The Sixth Sense is a genuinely great, well made film. I love Unbreakable too, the twist took me utterly by surprise and it was one of the few times I’ve sat there, jaw literally dropped in shock by it.  Signs had a stupid ending, but I maintain that the stuff that lead up to it was good.  Three films that were really good aside from a dodgy ending to one of them.

 

Then his output basically became a trash fire.  Like all the talent he’d shown in his first works was used up or something.  Then of course he had the big budget disasters of After Earth and Avatar, after which I’d genuinely question if he hadn’t been sneakily replaced by a doppelgänger who had never seen a film before.  It’s a shame as I genuinely thought this guy was going to be one of my fave directors based on his films up to Signs, and I was super hyped about The Village (which wasn’t very good).

 

That said I enjoyed Split and Glass, the latter more for it tying into previous work though - and it’s no where near as good either.

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50 minutes ago, George Clooney said:

Wahlbergs acting is amazingly bad to the point I laughed out loud several times….does that count as positive?


If there are any to be found, that would certainly be one. And this scene with Leguizamo ranks amongst one of the unintentionally funniest in cinema history:

 


I think I decided never to watch another film of his after that.

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Anyway, onto French films that are actually worth watching!

 

Big Bug - 3.5/5 (Netflix)

 

This is a lovely little film that is essentially just silly fluff, and all the more charming because of it. It’s hard to say it has any real story as it’s not much more than a series of bits that add up to a sort of sex farce, with some gorgeous visuals and effects along the way. Humans get trapped in their automatic house by well meaning robots, and very watchable stuff happens as a consequence.

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Oldboy

 

I re-watched this at the weekend at my local Picture House, it was showing the 4k version. Still one of my favourite films, looks great, sounds fab and has (mostly) solid performances.  Strong violence in places and the story isn't for the faint hearted. Still one of the best gritty fight scenes and there's some great editing too.

 

5 Octopus out of 5

 

Looking forward to The Handmaiden on the big screen this Sunday, a film i've never seen.

 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Robsk1 said:

Oldboy

 

I re-watched this at the weekend as my local Picture House, it was showing the 4k version. Still one of my favourite films, looks great, sounds fab and has (mostly) solid performances.  Strong violence in places and the story isn't for the faint hearted. Still one of the best gritty fight scenes and there's some great editing too.

 

5 Octopus out of 5

 

Looking forward to The Handmaiden on the big screen this Sunday, a film i've never seen.

 

 

 

The Handmaiden is fantastic. Up there with Lady Vengeance as my favourite of his.

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On 24/09/2022 at 23:24, Vimster said:

Unfair Exchanges (1984)

Strange TV drama written by Ken Campbell and starring Julie Walters as a single mother trying to cope with receiving unwanted phone calls. Very contemporary for the time, the tone stirs up feeling of paranoia around modern phone technology, for the early 80s anyway. It has a giallo feel about it, mysterious deaths, bizarre twists, unanswered questions and twisted relationships. Maybe a bit too dated for more modern viewers, it feels inspired by the transition from the GPO to privatised British Telecom which was a big shift at the time, the modernisation of the phone network.

 

3.5/5

 

 

Cheers for the heads up on that - never seen it.  About half way through and it’s seriously bizarre; love the appearance from the guy from time bandits!

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Athena - 4.5/5 (Netflix)

 

Phew, this is a tense watch! The action starts about ten seconds in and then doesn’t really stop. I dropped half a point because it loses its way with the ending, which basically makes you go ‘okay then’, but if you want a fantastically filmed flick about banlieue kiddies fighting cops you aren’t going to get much better than this.

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Loved Athena, posted about it in the Netflix thread.

 

Pretty much the best fireworks display put to opera ever. Agree with you a bit  on the ending but it does kind of make sense if you can get in line with the operatic theme of it all.

 

Its an incredible bit of movie making. The camera work in the first 10-15 minutes is so fucking good. 

 

I've watched it again since Friday and might watch at least the first 15 minutes again on repeat for forever. So much fucking impressive camera work going on there.

 

Best film I've seen on Netflix in a good old while

 

5/5

 

Fucking loved it

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