Rate the last film you watched out of 5

[Nathan Wind]

16 hours ago, lolly said:

Robot Jox (1989)

 

This is one of those films, along with the likes of Maniac Cop and American Ninja, where the cover of the VHS will be forever etched in my mind thanks to picking it up to look at it every…single…time…my parents took me to the local video rental shop. Never watched it, but after that write up I’m super tempted. You make it sound superb!

[Ry]

You People - 2/5

 

Pretty terrible. 

[Monkeyboy]

On 27/01/2023 at 21:13, Ry said:

Possessor: Uncut 3/5 (maybe? Fuck knows)

 

I remember hearing this got rave reviews a couple of years ago and was on my radar but totally forgot about it. I basically went in blind knowing nothing about the plot

 

Anyway, aye...hmm. Dont know what to make of it. It's brilliantly made but I was left a bit empty come the end. There is some ultra violence nastiness in a few scenes but the most shocking thing for me was seeing a guy with a hard-on and balls flapping about and full on spread eagle fanny facing the camera. 

 

It's an interesting film, I will give it that. 

 

 

He’s not quite as good as his dad. He’s missing the subtle (and not so subtle) humour that his dad brings to his own films. For example, his most recent — Crimes of the Future — had me chuckling at times, without taking anything away from its more serious ideas.

[lolly]

3 hours ago, Nathan Wind said:

This is one of those films, along with the likes of Maniac Cop and American Ninja, where the cover of the VHS will be forever etched in my mind thanks to picking it up to look at it every…single…time…my parents took me to the local video rental shop. Never watched it, but after that write up I’m super tempted. You make it sound superb!

Fair warning ,I accept absolutely no responsibility for your enjoyment , or lack thereof, if you choose to pursue this course of action.

 

 I'm not sure what has motivated me to watch a load of C grade martial arts/sci fi movies but as a contrast   I stuck on the 1st 1/2 hour of a Donnie Yen thing  that has sumptuous visuals , gloriously choreographed martial arts and I'm properly looking forward to finishing it over the weekend. And it's made me think of how well made, and actually tight , things are like The Raid, Dredd (regardless of whether people like that interpretation of Dredd himself) and the John Wick movies are.

 

To counteract that there's some thing on Prime with what looks like the  baddie twins out of Conan the Barbarian in it, they look like a pair of proper thespians.

[Monkeyboy]

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) -- 2 out of 5

 

Death Spa (1989) -- 4 out of 5

[womblingfree]

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 4/5

 

I'd never heard of this and knew nothing about it. Still never seen a review. Anyway, it was very fun and quite delightful.

[iknowgungfu]

10 hours ago, Monkeyboy said:

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) -- 2 out of 5

 

Death Spa (1989) -- 4 out of 5

Do you think a lot of us have become really fatigued with superhero stuff?  I think I am. 

[El Geet]

11 hours ago, lolly said:

Fair warning ,I accept absolutely no responsibility for your enjoyment , or lack thereof, if you choose to pursue this course of action.

 

 I'm not sure what has motivated me to watch a load of C grade martial arts/sci fi movies but as a contrast   I stuck on the 1st 1/2 hour of a Donnie Yen thing  that has sumptuous visuals , gloriously choreographed martial arts and I'm properly looking forward to finishing it over the weekend. And it's made me think of how well made, and actually tight , things are like The Raid, Dredd (regardless of whether people like that interpretation of Dredd himself) and the John Wick movies are.

 

To counteract that there's some thing on Prime with what looks like the  baddie twins out of Conan the Barbarian in it, they look like a pair of proper thespians.

Prime does seem to have quite a few low grade genre fodder. You should add Deathstalker to your list. It’s neither sci-fi nor martial arts but it’s definitely C grade. 

[cassidy]

3 minutes ago, iknowgungfu said:

Do you think a lot of us have become really fatigued with superhero stuff?  I think I am. 

Average film is average. *Shrugs* 

 

You do you though,  if this is the end of superheroes for you.  I haven't watched a Western myself since Jonah Hex for the exact same reasons. 

[Orion]

16 hours ago, Nathan Wind said:

This is one of those films, along with the likes of Maniac Cop and American Ninja, where the cover of the VHS will be forever etched in my mind thanks to picking it up to look at it every…single…time…my parents took me to the local video rental shop. Never watched it, but after that write up I’m super tempted. You make it sound superb!

 

Robot Jox doesn't live up to video art or blurb. Lollly is spot on. It was bollocks at the time and has aged terribly.

 

House 2 was the cover burned most in my head as a kid. From when I would wander into the horror section when my parents weren't looking. Quite liked it when I eventually saw it. Tempted to do a rewatch.

[Ry]

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever -2/5

 

Marvel on that run of utter shite movies. Seen it at the pictures but was in a shit mood so thought I would give it another watch. I shouldn't have. 

[Monkeyboy]

48 minutes ago, cassidy said:

Average film is average. *Shrugs* 

 

You do you though,  if this is the end of superheroes for you.  I haven't watched a Western myself since Jonah Hex for the exact same reasons. 

There’s a mountain of spaghetti westerns I’m still working my way through. Nearly all of them are more entertaining than the current Marvel phase. Jonah Hex is shite though, I’ll give you that.

[Monkeyboy]

58 minutes ago, iknowgungfu said:

Do you think a lot of us have become really fatigued with superhero stuff?  I think I am. 

I certainly have. There hasn’t been a genuinely good one for a while now.

[Nathan Wind]

8 hours ago, El Geet said:

Prime does seem to have quite a few low grade genre fodder. You should add Deathstalker to your list. It’s neither sci-fi nor martial arts but it’s definitely C grade. 

That’s been on my watch list for yonks, I’m an absolute sucker for crappy fantasy films. I love stuff like The Beastmaster, Hawk the Slayer and Krull. Must get on Deathstalker! You’re absolutely right, Prime is great for films like these.

 

What I haven’t checked it for is all the terrible 80s ninja and kung fu films from Joseph Lai and Godfrey Ho. There used to be a great selection of them on Netflix but last time I looked most of them had gone.

 

Edit - Just had a look and there are quite a lot of them on Prime. The Sho Kusogi classic, Revenge of the Ninja is there, pleasingly! And legendarily crappy classic, Ninja Terminator. Unfortunately, most of the American Ninja films need an MGM sub but number 5 is there, never seen that one - on the list ye go.

[El Geet]

2 hours ago, Nathan Wind said:

That’s been on my watch list for yonks, I’m an absolute sucker for crappy fantasy films. I love stuff like The Beastmaster, Hawk the Slayer and Krull. Must get on Deathstalker! You’re absolutely right, Prime is great for films like these.

 

What I haven’t checked it for is all the terrible 80s ninja and kung fu films from Joseph Lai and Godfrey Ho. There used to be a great selection of them on Netflix but last time I looked most of them had gone.

 

Edit - Just had a look and there are quite a lot of them on Prime. The Sho Kusogi classic, Revenge of the Ninja is there, pleasingly! And legendarily crappy classic, Ninja Terminator. Unfortunately, most of the American Ninja films need an MGM sub but number 5 is there, never seen that one - on the list ye go.

Deathstalker is definitely more adult than Krull or HTS. Quite a bit of nudity and v dodgy sex scenes. If it’s time for sure and has the classic hallmarks of low budget and awful acting. This was trying to ride the wave of Conan but is obviously nowhere near as accomplished. Somehow they churned out 4 of these things. Roger Corman produced. 
 

It also is one of the most memorable covers from the video shop for me. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ZOK]

Is that Boris Vallejo?

[El Geet]

1 hour ago, ZOK said:

Is that Boris Vallejo?

Yes it is! Good spot. 

[Vimster]

Would definitely agree Amazon Prime is a good source of trash. I've watched tons. You have to drill down a bit through, find a good in and you could hit a seam. Some are poor quality transfers though. Tried to watch Violent City aka The Family, Charles Bronson and Telly Savalas Italian crime thriller from 1970, but it was a total mess with no subs for the Italian bits. 

[ZOK]

I think you said before though, the transfer they’ve done on Death Race 2000 is quite amazing, it looks glorious!

[Dark Soldier]

PLANE with Gerard Butler as the captain of the PLANE and the PLANE crash lands on an island and they can't stay on the PLANE any more then Gerard Butler as the captain of the PLANE does action man stuff but there's a severe lack of PLANE in the latter part of this movie about a PLANE 

 

3/5

[Ry]

Plane. 4/5

 

Just an absolute solid action thriller. 

 

No fat on it whatsoever. No stupid cliches. Loved it!

[Mikes]

Southbound (2015)

 

Decent little horror film that slipped under the radar. Serious episodic  Silent Hill vibes throughout. Recommended if you're a fan of the genre.

 

4 do not eat the meats out of 5

 

[Vimster]

Ruthless People (1986)

Solidly entertaining farce from Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker. It gets twisty and silly in equal measure, so many great moments in here: "I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!" Danny DeVito and Bette Midler steal it but Bill Pullman's dim-witted accomplice was also top. 

 

4/5

[choddo]

GdT’s Pinnochio (2022)

 

3/5

Some wonderful scenes. The first song “what is it, what is it?!”  and fireplace are brilliant. Incredible amount of work and artistry. Story just didn’t quite hit the mark for me.

[iknowgungfu]

Bullet Train

 

What did I just watch? I found it irritating to begin with but settled in after a while. I thought it was a bit to try hard for its own good. Felt like someone trying to successfully meld Tarantino dialogue with Edgar Wright direction. 
 

Overall, I enjoyed it. Very throw away film but quite liked the casting to be fair. 
 

3/5

[Nathan Wind]

Suicide Kings - Prime Freevee

 

This is a weird one. Tonally, it’s very strange. It follows the aftermath of a bunch of rich frat boys kidnapping a New York mob boss to pay off a ransom. It’s got a weird TV movie sheen about it that belies its low budget, lots of slow mo emphasis shots with the soundtrack reaching a crescendo…it’s soap opera stuff. The story itself is preposterous, doing the twist on a twist on a twist thing to make it seem clevererer than it is when none of it makes a lick of sense from the outset. But, but, but, I enjoyed it anyway. There’s some good acting in there which carries it, especially from Christopher Walken and Dennis Leary (which is obviously where the spends went), and without really spoiling anything, there isn’t a happy ending, so at least it’s brave enough to follow through on that. 
 

I think there’s some prime Walkenosity in there actually, and so ymmv depending on how much of a kick you get out of seeing him acting rings around a young cast and a daft story.

 

3/5, probably dock a mark if you’re not that arsed about Walken.

[ZOK]

Rojo - 5/5 (MUBI)

 

This is fantastic, an Argentinian flick set in 1975 in the days where the junta is fast approaching and society is slowly losing its mind to the terror. A slightly crooked middle class lawyer is pushed by chance into doing a Very Bad Thing, and sees his composure unravel when a detective comes to call.

 

This is splendid filmmaking - the shots are delicious, the acting throughout perfectly nuanced and the soundtrack is wonderful, all contributing to the tension as people and the social rules that bind them disappear. One of the best opening credits sequences I think I’ve ever seen.

[Plissken]

Bank of Dave (2.5/5)

 

Well, this is a complicated one to write about.  Let's try it as a standard film.  It's based on the true story of a Burnley businessman who wants to set up a localbank to help his deprived community. He engages a firm of London lawyers, who send one of them North to basically tell him why there has been no new bank started in 150 years.  Said lawyer slowly realises the reason for this, while being charmed by the titular Dave and charming his niece, Alexandra.

 

It's a mishmash of three standard tropes, the underdog story, the fish out of water and the opposites attract romcom.  These are pretty well-travelled paths and the film absolutely does not misstep on any of them.  You know what is going to happen, the interest is getting there.  The cast know their brief and do their jobs well.  Rory Kinnear nails Dave, understanding that beneath the outgoing bonhomie is a sharp operator.  Hugh Bonneville knows how to play an evil banker. Joel Fry and Phoebe Denyvor make a decent couple.  Cathy Tyson and Paul Kaye do the "local colour" characters and nail the accents perfectly.  (Someone earlier mentioned a patronising scene of not being able to understand the local accent... my wife has trouble with it when we go over and I've been with her for 26 years!) The story plays out, Tab A goes into Slot B.  The political commentary seems absolutely crowbarred in, but needed to be said.  The baddies are pantomime but none the worse for that. It doesn't quite stick the landing but as far as I am concerned, it is a very passable hour and forty minutes that won't exercise the brain cells but is perfect for a nice evening in.

 

However, because I'm from the area, there is some vague thoughts that contains spoilers that I'll hide.  Mainly about the truth of the film and the story.

 

Spoiler

You know when you watching a film that was shot in an area you know, and you consciously or subconsciously spot the joins where they move from one location to the next?  Try an entire film of that but also regarding the plot.

 

I know the real Dave in the same way everyone in a small town knows everyone else. Met him a couple of times, and Rory Kinnear plays him exactly like he is. The problem I have is that not that the basic story is true.  He did lend a lot of money (in small amounts, to people who needed it) and yes, it was always paid back. So he needed to put that on a proper footing and he did indeed work with lawyers Down South to set up a lending business.  I walk past the actual Burnley Savings and Loans office every two weeks on the way to Turf Moor.

 

And that's key. From that point onwards, the film diverges massively from reality.  It's not a bank.  It's an independent lender. There is no banking licence, the actions of London bankers didn't happen.  No court case. The Concert for Dave is a massive crowd pleaser, but... no.  It's so jarring to see scenes filmed at the real Turf Moor, including the dressing room and tunnels and then flick to a CGI shot that gets it very, very wrong because the Turf simply is way too small.  In real life, that stage would be about 18 yards wide and four feet high.

 

The "not understanding the locals" scene mentioned above? I didn't have a problem with that, because I understood him. And then I mentally followed the directions and then went, "no, they're wrong..."

 

Despite this, I enjoyed myself.  I liked the court case scene, I thought that was nicely written.  The concert didn't work for me but ultimately, if provides the feel-good ending they wanted.  Don't have a problem with that.

 

If I didn't know any of this, I suspect I'd have enjoyed it even more.  Just those little moments of "Hey, they're in the Royal Dyche... and now they're not..." or "yeah, heard about that... but it didn't happen that way...", were just too much and too often for me personally to actually properly relax and enjoy it.  Maybe a rewatch is required now that I know.

 

[DarhkFox]

Black Panther 2 -  2/5

 

Pretty average movie, too dark at times and whilst i get that had to change it up after the death of Chadwick Boseman it suffers IMO.

[Vimster]

Red Planet (2000)

Anything that can go wrong on this first manned mission to Mars does go wrong, and yet it still managed to feel rather flat largely due to the way perilous situations were casually chucked at the crew with seemingly no regard for the film as a whole. Oh look, our base is in tatters, never mind. Decent performances from the cast even if Carrie-Anne Moss seemed to spend most of her screen time flicking switches. As an asthmatically-decent, straightforward  SF B-movie it's fine but the lack of substance stops it being anything more than that.

 

2.5/5