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The Apprentice 2022


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Is £250k even that big an investment for businesses these days? Doesn't seem so, but I could be wrong.

 

I hope there's a scavenger hunt challenge, cos I like that one. 

 

Whomever runs this show really needs to change things up with the firings. Anytime, anywhere firings would be so much more interesting than canned lines in the boardroom. Plus give the mid-level bosses firing ability or yellow-card type stuff.

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14 hours ago, Delargey said:

The cilents are real, but probably been briefed to be tough on negotiation. 

 

but even that is so flawed as it's not real, not their money.

 

it becomes a game on the client side and the difference between winning/losing can be who gets the cunt play negotiating with somebody elses cash, as appeared to be the case this week. That bloke knew he held all the cards as didn't want the day out really, knew it was just play, so threatened to walk unless they caved to his lowball price. It was like Brent in the office shouting 'theres been a rape' to get attention. 

 

I still like the idea of the show but it needs nuking and livening up - Sugar gone, Karen Brady pulling faces like she is sniffing farts all the time gone. That new Dragon Stephen Bartlett or somebody of his type, young self made from nothing and then shake up all the actual tasks too so they are more realistic and have some relevance and actual skill/acumen elements.

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Agree with the comments on the previous page about the catering: for £26 a head you’re getting food cooked not just ingredients. They’d have been better off getting a Hello Fresh box delivered, and made more profit.

 

One thing that does irk me about the show is the lack of praise. Aaron looked like he actually did a pretty good job with being a tour guide and making the day fun for the clients. Can’t remember anyone really being given praise besides a quick ‘well done’ to the group winning the task.

 

And this week’s was made for a double firing. The losing PM was incredibly fortunate not to walk, but can only assume Sugar likes her business plan more than Nick’s.

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Also. If you have set up a business making nose hair styling tongs that employed 25 people in 3 sites. Are you expected to sell that up and start some new business with Sugar? He's not investing in established businesses is he, so at best they're putting their already established business on hold for the money. 

 

Are people now just doing this show to raise the profile of their current business I wonder? 

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1 minute ago, Sidewaysbob said:

Also. If you have set up a business making nose hair styling tongs that employed 25 people in 3 sites. Are you expected to sell that up and start some new business with Sugar? He's not investing in established businesses is he, so at best they're putting their already established business on hold for the money. 

I always assumed it was the existing business he was adding money too.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
11 minutes ago, BitterToad said:

"First time fuck dies"

 

Followed by one of the retailers saying:

 

“It’s the one word you don’t want to hear in relation to babies”

 

Which is odd, as there’s at least two.

 

 

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Well the takeaway from all that was, you can't come up with a brand, design a logo and packaging for a product you first heard about that morning. In approximately 40 minutes. 

 

Also anyone can slap baby food together, but not everyone. No, the PM should do the marketing but the food needs to be special not just slapped together, because this is about the food, and the marketing which has to be top notch. 

 

What a load of shit. I genuinely think sugar should have been fired for such a shit task.

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13 hours ago, Sidewaysbob said:

Well the takeaway from all that was, you can't come up with a brand, design a logo and packaging for a product you first heard about that morning. In approximately 40 minutes. 

 

Also anyone can slap baby food together, but not everyone. No, the PM should do the marketing but the food needs to be special not just slapped together, because this is about the food, and the marketing which has to be top notch. 

 

What a load of shit. I genuinely think sugar should have been fired for such a shit task.

 

It's typical The Apprentice double-think.

 

If the PM goes on the food team but loses on the branding: 'What were you doing on the food team, you lost this task because your branding was rubbish. That's the most important part. You should have been on the branding team, anyone can come up with some baby food'

 

If the PM goes on the food team and loses on the food: 'You fell at the first hurdle because the food was rubbish. That's the most important part. You should have put someone who knew what they were doing on the food team etc'

 

Harpreet seems like the only logical winner to me at this point. She'd be a total nightmare to work with but I think she's gotten by far the most competent portrayal. Which isn't hard to be fair.

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Something that annoyed me that should have been pulled up by the Scottish side-kick guy was Katherine blatantly lying about the customer feedback on their teams food. They all hated every aspect, yet somehow she said they loved all of it to the Iceland guys.

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It’s a bit cruel because she started crying, but my god I was laughing at the lady’s bizarre alcoholic health potion that she’d designed herself. I assumed the interviewer had got a company to make a prototype, but it sounds like he’d just gone into the bathroom and started mixing up fluids at random, like in George’s Marvellous Medicine. 
 

Just the idea of an alcoholic health drink is odd. I initially thought it’d be a healthier version of an existing alcoholic drink, but it sounds like a protein shake with gin in it.

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Totally agree, protein enriched booze? Wtf? If it was tasty fine, but it's rank seemingly plus mega health freaks either dont drink at all or are wanting a break from being healthfreaks and to get hammered.

 

I honestly wouldn't see why a  "tycoon" would bother with any of these ideas, maybe the pj's but the others? No way.

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I've just realised what this bit where all of Sugar's friends report back to him reminds me of. You know that scene in Death of Stalin where they all go to his house and have to agree with him and laugh at his shit jokes or risk him killing them and their families? 

 

It's that. 

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They were all shit ideas yet again. Not one of them would have got past the "Hello Dragons, we want £250k for 3% of our shitty little business" before Peter Jones would have manhandled them out on their arses. 

 

What a load of shit. 

 

Also, have they all been made to wear the dresses of one particular company? Because there is no variation on the theme of "lovely miss office cheapside". 

No one who wanted to go to a professional business pitch meeting would wear stilettos that dangerous surely? 

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What an utter sham of a show, the other ideas must have been proper shit if that was what got through. 

 

Stephanie's company had sold 58 items iirc, I've sold 58 things on ebay am I preloved seller also?

 

The guy buying all the domain names of Katherine's company was pretty fun though.

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59 minutes ago, Fierce Poodle said:

How did Katherine get through? Her business was flogging pyjamas made in a Chinese sweatshop. Am I missing something?

 

It's TV. Eye candy? Even though I refer to her as the woman with the fake head. 

Katherine reminded me of so many people I've worked with over the years who think their entire business case is wonderful because they wrote it. Enthusiastic arrogance dressed up as positivity is doomed to fail. Primark already sell her product. It's a gimmick perfect for fast fashion.

The other one is pretty normal but it's not really a business that needs the £250k. Surely she'd be able to get that from a bank. 

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I just remind myself that anybody with a competent business plan would have little trouble securing necessary investment without parading themselves on a show where a team of eight can be rewarded for making £100 of profit for two days' work.

 

I'd also like to remind myself that commas are a thing.

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So basically the remit for this show is for someone to go down the pub, write out a plan or idea on the back of a fag packet, apply to the show, be as obnoxious as possible, and then get ripped to pieces by Claude Littner.

 

I mean it's the highlight of the year for these shit ideas to get torn to pieces. But they really are an utter waste of time.

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