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The Apprentice 2022


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Anyone remember that scene from 21 Jump Street along the lines of: "what is a covalent bond?" "why don't you tell me what it is first, and I'll tell you if it's right?"

 

Replace "covalent bond" with "bouji".

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18 hours ago, glb said:

I feel relieved I have absolutely no idea what ‘bouji’ means.

 

What a gang of pricks.


short for bourgeoisie but in modern parlance 

 

someone stuck up their own arsehole with champagne taste but wkd money 😆
 

 

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The name thing was difficult to watch as it definitely doesn't mean what they hoped it meant. Shama had spotted that iceberg a mile off too so I immediately warmed to her. I did feel for the sub-team boys a bit with their creative as the thought process was there and it could have been quite a sweet, well observed mark had they had another 2 weeks of fiddling with it. It's completely unrealistic to suggest anyone can conjure up something good in an hour. The social video again would have been good with any sort of time and budget or expertise. At least it had an idea, unlike the girls one which was filming a shrieking hen-do in various waterborne locations. 

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6 hours ago, Wickedkitten said:


short for bourgeoisie but in modern parlance 

 

someone stuck up their own arsehole with champagne taste but wkd money 😆


We moved to Essex a couple of years ago and based on that definition I’m shocked I’ve not heard it.

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Always a shame when a contestant you've given a good nickname goes out early as you don't get the joy of repeatedly using it.

 

Poor Cousin Mose, he was just a bit too boring to survive the early cull against mouthier opposition.

 

At this point picking holes in the format or competitors almost seems pointless, glad to have it back as its entertaining to laugh at the contestants. With each season they slip further into parody and have clearly all watched the previous seasons meaning it's all increasingly familiar in terms of the exchanges.

 

 

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I'm surprised that Poundland McGregor got fingered, he actually seemed like he had his head screwed on. If someone had briefed me to create a magical androgynous wizard that helps a six year old brush their teeth I would have grabbed my wheelie case and headed for the cab then and there.

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14 minutes ago, Art Vandelay said:

I'm surprised that Poundland McGregor got fingered, he actually seemed like he had his head screwed on. If someone had briefed me to create a magical androgynous wizard that helps a six year old brush their teeth I would have grabbed my wheelie case and headed for the cab then and there.

 

I think in the first few weeks unless someone makes an absolutely shocking balls up the firing is more to do with their business plan.

 

Akeem is my current most hated, just those little shots of his bug eyed face agreeing in a toadish manner with everything lord sugar says, closely followed by miss bouji from last week, she seems a bit too proud of her ignorance and if she is unaware of anything then it cant be important.

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This show really frustrates me as I think there is a decent slightly more contemporary show to be made without changing much.

 

Sugar and his cronies are well past their sell by date and just need refreshing. His schtick is quite tiresome now but equally so the ever sneery Karen Brady.

 

Then the tasks themselves seem like something from another age of TV (which they are), the teams and PM thing is fine as this does actually demonstrate skills like leadership, delegation, getting on with people but the formats are just arse backwards. 

 

Every week they design a thing then once it's locked in it gets shown to experts or 'market research' (5 kids in this weeks case) - this is purely done for laughs so the teams get humiliated without the ability to amend the product, let them talk to the people before and get some actual useful insights. Some of the nob heads will still ignore everything they are told and design a turd stick of course.

 

It's still amusing but could be much better and entertain whilst being a bit more real world rather than reality tv.

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Well some people watched last of the summer wine for god knows how long.

 

In a show about business, which is supposedly always moving forward and changing, the odd tweak to the format wouldn't go amis. 

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Oh, I certainly think there is a better business show in there but part of the fun for me is that the format doesn't really allow for them to have the time for to make reasonable desicisons or have a normal conversation.  I like how as the season goes on the filming schedule wears them down even more and they become a screaming mess of arrogance.

 

It's a terrible way to show business acumen though.

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I haven't rewatched any of the very early seasons since they first aired but I do recall the show was slightly more interested in giving the contestants a chance back then and not so preoccupied with just portraying everyone as incompetent. I do distinctly remember they got to do market research before actually ploughing ahead with the product for example.

 

As with basically all reality TV shows over a period of time it's become a very exaggerated version of itself. A lot of reality TV starts off kind of low-key and then as the producers see what become the memorable moments (usually drama, conflict and failure) everything about subsequent seasons becomes more and more geared to increase the frequency of those 'moments' until you lose all sense of balance as the competency gets edited away to nothing. When its all idiocy and failure all the time there is nothing to ground those 'moments' or make them stand out.

 

The major problem I have with The Apprentice is that it's very poor at story-telling for a competition. All reality TV competitions need to be heavily edited to make a narratively satisfying show. You need winner's arcs, villain arcs, 'surprise' upsets, comeback arcs, both season long and episode long arcs.

 

The Apprentice is really bad at basically all of these things. For about 3/4 of each season it's just 60 minutes of failure and stupidity with no contestants being shown to do all that much to stand out either positively or negatively. Even just two episodes in, a good reality TV show should already be laying the groundwork for the season in terms of who is filler, who looks like a frontrunner etc.

 

After two episodes of this it just feels like they're all being portrayed as crap and that the winner is pretty arbitrary and whoever is less bad by a smidgen. At some point about 3 episodes from the end they will start to make one or two people look ok so the finale doesn't look like a joke.

 

Compare it to something like RuPaul's Drag Race which is very, very good at establishing character and narrative arcs early on and maintaining them across the season. It's just as artificial and produced as The Apprentice but it knows how to create and spin satisfying yarns from the material. The editing and storytelling of The Apprentice is amateurish in comparison. 

 

I get the appeal of watching overconfident people fail but it's very much like 1984's five minutes of hate but instead its the BBC's weekly 60 minutes of sneering. Karen Brady basically doesn't even try to hide the fact she's just mugging up to the camera for all its worth every time a contestant so much as dares to breathe. It's all faintly depressing.

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It is just weird that you have two teams within each team who are essentially working in isolation from each other and the PM doesn’t get to see the results of the sub-team’s work until it is too late and then they’re all sat round a table staring glumly at what appears to be a turd on a stick.

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I also wonder to what degree rules constrain them. By this point in the show's run any competent contestant should be aware of how often the marketing and design teams fail to align, and so should use their initial period to dictate the key points. 

 

But they don't, either because they're all as incompetent as the show tells us, or because they've been told they're not allowed to.

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