Jump to content

Games You Are Bad At


Recommended Posts

Without slinging my nob and bollocks out on the table, I've completed the likes of Cuphead, Celeste and Sekiro, I'm decent enough at the old bullet hell and rhythm games, and I used to be quite handy at SFIV - for what little all of this is worth. I'm all right at games, neither great nor crap, but competent enough. There's some stuff, though, that I am just extremely bad at and I wanted to let you know so you can update your spreadsheets or maybe share some of your own.

 

Resident Evil

 

Aside from RE4, I am really crap at classic Resident Evil and I don't understand how I'm supposed to be any better. Main thing is I always get bitten and die off the fucking zombies. So, I end up shooting them and run out of bullets. Am I meant to kite them around the place and swerve them and so on? No, thanks. It's like seeing a spider go behind the cupboard just before you get into bed. I will keep my wife awake for hours until I've found it and destroyed it. Otherwise, I enjoy the atmosphere and some aspects but I am absolutely shit at them and don't know what I'm meant to do. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Marlew said:

Am I meant to kite them around the place and swerve them and so on? No, thanks.

 

Sometimes. It depends where they are and how much space you have - if they're in a narrow corridor or a place that you're frequently going to revisit, then take them down, but if they're somewhere where you can easily skirt round them, like the central foyer of the police station in RE2, then don't waste your bullets. This is what makes these games (the first few, at least) survival horrors - you won't always have enough ammunition to blast your way through everything. The reason you're better at RE4 is because RE4 is an action game, where you'll always have enough ammo.

 

Anyway, I'd say I'm pretty bad at fighting games. Despite also completing the three games you mention, I just always get flustered and start button mashing, and I never find that I'm able to react quickly enough to what the other player is doing. I'm always envious of people who get a huge amount from these games and can play them for hundreds of hours on end.

 

Also, and this one's a bit more niche, but sokobanklotski or sliding tile puzzles in games in general just leave me utterly baffled, every single time. I'm not sure why, but my brain just doesn't work that way. Speaking of RE4, that bit where you're in the castle as Ashley and you have to do the sliding tile puzzle still gives me nightmares.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dark Souls. Not the series - the first game. I finished 2, finished 3, platinumed BB (and got all Old Hunters trophies), and defeated ISS in Sekiro. However, DS1 is too much. Every time I attempt it I end up not knowing which direction to go in, I end up avoiding the much easier areas that probably exist, I miss every shortcut, get inflicted with every ailment, lose every invader duel and get fucked off with corpse runs. And people say that Sekiro is the difficult one. :blush: 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't be arsed with hard games.  With Gamepass and so many unplayed games on the shelf if I can't kill a boss in 5 attempts then I play something else. Life is too short.

 

I loved Bloodstained and a great part of that game is how you are pretty free to explore. It never gets too crazy and theres always more difficulty settings for those that want it.

 

What I have realised over the years is that I'm really really bad at stopping and changing an approach.  If there's a bit of a game that I find challenging I keep playing it in the same way, trying to do it faster and better. I really struggle to try that section in a different way. There have been games I gave up on which I'll go back to a year later, load up the save game and kill the thing I couldn't kill on my first attempt because I've forgotten all the tactics I repeatedly tried the first time. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, Darwock said:

Tetris. After two solid years playing Tetris Effect, the fact I don’t ever really improve should be a sign that I’m just not cut out for the game. It doesn’t get through my thick skull though.


I’m kind of the same with Tetris in that my skills have definitely plateaued (and did so long ago) but I wouldn’t say I’m bad at it. I always thought I was pretty good at it, and I am in terms of being able to play my way out of messy situations, or mostly being able to keep up and deal with the mental speed bursts in Tetris Effect, but it’s all the setting up for T-spins and shit that I’ll never get, since it involves re-learning my reading of the game which is far too deeply ingrained at this point. I’d say I’m an 8 out of 10 Tetris player, but should really be hitting 9 given how much I’ve played it and how much I love it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

44 minutes ago, Marlew said:

Without slinging my nob and bollocks out on the table

 

Quote

42 min Marlew changed the title to Games You Are Bad At

 

Was the original title "humblebrag: the thread"?

I think you should post that first stage video of futari again. Spoilered, obviously, to protect your modesty :D

 

I try to avoid puzzle games because there'll always be a bit where I get stuck fast and I'm too proud to ask for help, so I'll just sit there for hours trying everything until I feel like I'm going to cry.

 

Ikaruga, pawarumi, anything like that where you have to split your brain and concentrate on too many things at once. My brain just isn't big enough for that shit.

 

∀kashicverse, you want me to pull off fighting game combos while dodging a screen full of bullets? That ain't happening.

 

Hellsinker, wilfully, provocatively opaque.
Every time I thought I was getting a handle on that game and beginning to enjoy it, it threw me another curve ball.

 

Real time strategy games. I can become paralysed in the supermarket trying to pick a jar of curry, even the phrase "real time strategy" stokes my anxieties.

Link to post
Share on other sites

4X and grand strategy games seem to be beyond me. What's worse, they're the kind of games that don't show you just how bad you are until you're several hours in and suddenly under attack from the rest of the universe who both outnumber and out-tech you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
49 minutes ago, Jamie John said:

Anyway, I'd say I'm pretty bad at fighting games. Despite also completing the three games you mention, I just always get flustered and start button mashing, and I never find that I'm able to react quickly enough to what the other player is doing. I'm always envious of people who get a huge amount from these games and can play them for hundreds of hours on end.

Me too. To be more precise, any game that involves more than one button press to do a single action.

 

Individually, I can push right on the stick to run right, press the jump button to jump and press the kick button to kick. And if those three things done at the same time or in quick succession results in a flying jump kick then I can do that.

 

But if the game require me to push right AND press jump AND press kick to perform a Flying Jump Kick then I’m completely lost.

 

Simple inputs that can be combined in complex ways I can learn and get good at.
 

Complex inputs for defined outcomes completely frazzle my brain and result in panicked button mashing.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps similar to @teddymeow, I am terrible at games that require patience, so Souls, Bloodborne, Sekiro and for me Nioh.

 

I loved the look of Bloodborne, but I kept dying before the very first boss. Can’t be bothered. Sekiro. I fell down off a bridge into the river fairly near the start and couldn’t see how to get back up, right, bugger that. Nioh was an odd one. Really enjoyed the prologue and didn’t understand the fuss, why were people saying it was so hard? I did the prologue without dying once. I then got into the game proper and couldn’t get out of the first village.

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was put off by Celeste a little to start with, but it's really worth persevering. It helps that you can respawn so quickly and retry sections you get stuck on, and if necessary there are a bunch of accessibility options you can toggle on with no downside. It's well worth playing to the end of the story.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m fairly crap at all manner of games really, but as my fave types are ones that tell a rollicking tale, I tend to bung them on easy and go with the flow. I utterly refuse to pander to folks who look down on people for doing this.

 

These people are miserable.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are plenty of genres I don’t really play, so won’t waste too much time listing those. Of the games styles I do like, platformers and driving games are probably the ones I’m worst at. Maybe sports games in general as don’t dedicate the time needed to be properly good at them.

 

Platformers though. I’ve never completed a Mario game besides Galaxy, and generally just don’t have the dexterity or timing for anything remotely skilful. Driving games I enjoy, but more the arcade ones like Burnout Paradise or Mario Kart GBA (when the series peaked, innit) Anything remotely sim or requiring proper lines etc I might as well be in Fred Flinstone’s footmobile.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Anything like Bayonetta, Viewtiful Joe, Devil May Cry. I see videos of people effortless pulling off combos and I just mash buttons like a hyper active toddler.

 

Slightly off topic, but I am can never remember names of enemies, characters, potions etc in games, so when I see people talk eloquently about how to fight Raging Catpuss or how to craft the elixir of doom using 12 simple ingredients I am just tell myself that they googled it all first.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I suck at roguelikes/lites. Crypt of the Necrodancer (never got past the third area) and Spelunky (never got past the second area).

 

 

 

My first Dark Souls completion took me 496 deaths and 120 hours, between December 2018 and May 2020, doing everything solo, without any NPC or co-op summoning. And that was without the DLC! Also I'd spoiled myself on a significant portion of it, so I wasn't fumbling my way experiments with stuff like covenants and ineffective weapon upgrades.

 

And that was only on my first completed run: before that, I'd had two previous unfinished attempts. (The first, in December 2013, I intentionally reset about 3 hours into the game after accidentally aggroing the merchant in the Undead Burg. The second ended in 2017 at about 27 hours, soon after entering Blighttown, when my Xbox 360's HDD died.) I didn't track my deaths in those first two attempts, but I dread to think what my total would be if you added them on!

 

I think the bosses that took me most attempts were Gwyn (about 50 deaths) and Nito (no divine weapons so I kept getting surrounded by skeletons; also kept getting hit by his screaming floor spike attack). Ornstein and Smough only took me about 10 tries. And I would almost count the Titanite Demons in the basement of Sen's Fortress as bosses, given the number of times they killed me!

 

In my defence I did get past the Anor Londo archers first try, by complete fluke. (Later in the game, after the archers respawned, I tried going that way again, to test if I could repeat the feat - but I couldn't do it.)

 

 

8 hours ago, Mogster said:

4X and grand strategy games seem to be beyond me. What's worse, they're the kind of games that don't show you just how bad you are until you're several hours in and suddenly under attack from the rest of the universe who both outnumber and out-tech you.

 

I've tried a few different versions of Civilisation over the years but I don't really get them. I mostly get thrown off by turn numbers, and keeping track of the order in which units cycle through each turn.

 

As for RTS games: in the few I've played, I don't have any "strategy" beyond "build as big an army as possible and plough through the CPU defences and base with sheer numbers". (Fiddling with troop transports? Keeping track of where unit groups are, and making sure that I haven't left any airborne units deselected? Ugh!)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Bullet hell shooters here as well, Ikararuga for me was just an embarrassing succession of explosion after explosion on infinite lives, take away the infinite lives and I wouldn't last a minute.

 

Like many others here, combo-based fighting games. My brain can't hold the insane number of combos in my head and I can't process the right moves to use at the right time. I always manage in the single player modes but anything beyond that is beyond my brain, and believe me I've tried. Soul Blade/Soul Calibur were the only fighting games I was ever any good at, because their combos were very simple and movesets quite limited. Plus I just don't have the patience to painstakingly learn one character inside out.

 

Anything multiplayer RTS-like, such as League of Legends, Starcraft etc. I'm fine left to my own devices in single player but the same mental limitations that stop me being good at fighting games apply to RTS as well. Cycling through abilities at crazy speeds, keeping track of multiple buildings whilst controlling 3 armies, its just madness. Ctrl-A and A towards the enemy, that's the path to success!

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Use of this website is subject to our Privacy Policy, Terms of Use, and Guidelines.