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The stupidest review you can remember reading


Rex Grossman
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GTA 3 having no hype thing is odd to me. I loved GTA and couldn't wait for it and I recall others being the same?

 

Must be wrong then on that front.

 

I was actually disappointed with it at first beyond the 3d. If I recall they kept in a top down 2d view.

 

The mention of GTA London reminds me I bought that on release for PS1. It must have been buggy as could never get .ore than 1 star for chases but no one else ever mentioned it. Maybe they patched it quick for subsequent copies.

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8 hours ago, SF-02 said:

GTA 3 having no hype thing is odd to me. I loved GTA and couldn't wait for it and I recall others being the same?

 

Must be wrong then on that front.

 

I was actually disappointed with it at first beyond the 3d. If I recall they kept in a top down 2d view.

 

The mention of GTA London reminds me I bought that on release for PS1. It must have been buggy as could never get .ore than 1 star for chases but no one else ever mentioned it. Maybe they patched it quick for subsequent copies.

 

There’s a piece on DMA Design in the new Retro Gamer (#226, in the shops on Thursday) and how its N64 games led up to GTA III. There was definitely hype for GTA III.

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1 hour ago, merman said:

 

There’s a piece on DMA Design in the new Retro Gamer (#226, in the shops on Thursday) and how its N64 games led up to GTA III. There was definitely hype for GTA III.


I don’t think people are are saying there was no hype but just that it wasn’t across the magazines as a genre-creating landmark title in the making.

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13 hours ago, Rex Grossman said:


I don’t think people are are saying there was no hype but just that it wasn’t across the magazines as a genre-creating landmark title in the making.

Exactly this. GTA was massive, but GTA London and GTA 2 were damp squibs by comparison. Plus an existing franchise 'going 3D' was actually more something to worry about than be excited by, given how many things had stumbled in the transition over the previous five or so years. So people heard about it, there was lukewarm hype, but it wasn't anything near what you'd expect for a game that literally changed gaming.

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Though even by late 2001 wasn't the internet pretty widespread for many people under 40 in the home, broadband was starting to be installed in  homes for that demographic at reasonable cost (£30 for pipex?) and forums/online sites were pretty up for it? 

 

I wonder how many people read gaming sites in the UK v magazines even then?

 

Funny thing is reading that PS2 mag from the time and the review for GTA3 was spot on. 8/10, lots of praise but criticism of the out of car shooting and some repetitive missions.

 

Yet they led with WWF which at the time many couldn't care less about. I mean it was hardly no1 seller each year? Looked like many mags were going for a 15 year old demographic.

 

 

 

 

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13 minutes ago, SF-02 said:

Though even by late 2001 wasn't the internet pretty widespread for many people under 40 in the home, broadband was starting to be installed in  homes for that demographic at reasonable cost (£30 for pipex?) and forums/online sites were pretty up for it? 

 

I wonder how many people read gaming sites in the UK v magazines even then?

 

Funny thing is reading that PS2 mag from the time and the review for GTA3 was spot on. 8/10, lots of praise but criticism of the out of car shooting and some repetitive missions.

 

Yet they led with WWF which at the time many couldn't care less about. I mean it was hardly no1 seller each year? Looked like many mags were going for a 15 year old demographic.

 

 

 

 

Mags were still selling 10s of thousands of copies a month - even 100s of thousands in the case of Official PlayStation. That balance of power hadn't quite shifted until a few years later; the vast majority of people (I'm talking in the UK) didn't have internet access at home, so print still had a big role in the hype-and-info machine.

 

As for WWF/E games - the one that came out in 2001 was Just Bring It, which sold just shy of 3 million copies worldwide, with over a million of those being in Europe. The Smackdown series (and WWE/2K series it morphed into) has always been a big-seller.

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20 hours ago, SF-02 said:

Yet they led with WWF which at the time many couldn't care less about. I mean it was hardly no1 seller each year? Looked like many mags were going for a 15 year old demographic.

 

I think Channel 4 were showing some PPV's on domestic TV at the time (they definitely were in 2020) so that would have increased the exposure of it.

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Just been reading an old issue of N64 magazine, it lists all previous scores towards the bsck. 1080 and pilot wings get 89 percent. Not bad scores but they are two of the best games ever made in my book. Was playing pilot wings last night, it's hard to believe it game out in 1996. It's way ahead of its time.

 

Turok 2 gets 95 while Goldeneye gets 94.

As far as I can remember turok 2 is shit. It's just a repetitive maze that ridiculously easy to get lost in, surely they were paid off for this score!? And Goldeneye, well I still haven't played a better FPS, and that's not rose tinted specs either , been playing it recently.

 

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1 minute ago, MoFo2 said:

A game you don't like getting 6% more than a game you like is one of the stupidest reviews you can remember reading?

I'm talking about 25 year old games, not exactly being super serious here. You want me to delete the post?

 

(Turok 2 point still stands though)

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2 hours ago, bplus said:

Turok 2 gets 95 while Goldeneye gets 94.

As far as I can remember turok 2 is shit. It's just a repetitive maze that ridiculously easy to get lost in, surely they were paid off for this score!? 

 

Nah, people liked it in the late 90s: https://web.archive.org/web/20191206034524/https://www.gamerankings.com/n64/199127-turok-2-seeds-of-evil/articles.html

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8 hours ago, bplus said:

Just been reading an old issue of N64 magazine, it lists all previous scores towards the bsck. 1080 and pilot wings get 89 percent. Not bad scores but they are two of the best games ever made in my book. Was playing pilot wings last night, it's hard to believe it game out in 1996. It's way ahead of its time.

 

Turok 2 gets 95 while Goldeneye gets 94.

As far as I can remember turok 2 is shit. It's just a repetitive maze that ridiculously easy to get lost in, surely they were paid off for this score!? And Goldeneye, well I still haven't played a better FPS, and that's not rose tinted specs either , been playing it recently.

 

I gave up on N64 Magazine after that Turok 2 review. Shame, as it was great during the Jonathan Davies era.

 

(I did start reading it years later once it’d became NGC Magazine.)

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21 minutes ago, Protocol Penguin said:

I gave up on N64 Magazine after that Turok 2 review. Shame, as it was great during the Jonathan Davies era.

 

(I did start reading it years later once it’d became NGC Magazine.)

Did you buy the game later? I'm tempted to try again on retro arch and see if it is as crap as I remember. I have had a few games I didn't like originally but twenty years later I do like. (Ridge Racer in particular).

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3 hours ago, bplus said:

Did you buy the game later? I'm tempted to try again on retro arch and see if it is as crap as I remember. I have had a few games I didn't like originally but twenty years later I do like. (Ridge Racer in particular).

Didn’t buy it, thankfully, as a friend bought it on launch and I played it at his house. We found the game a crushing disappointment; couldn’t understand why the magazines gave it such high review scores. Really was that bad – and with the RAM expansion installed, it suffered from ridiculously low frame rates, which the magazines failed to mention.

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On 21/10/2021 at 21:38, El Spatula said:

Yeah I fucking love DMC games and everything of that ilk but I cannot stand Bayonetta. It's just... Meh in every way.

 

Opposite way round for me: I think Bayonetta is great, but DMC3SE (the only DMC I've played to any extent) is OK but I don't love it. As well as just generally preferring the feel and flow of Bayonetta's combos and dodges to Dante's, the things that put me off DMC3 are that I don't like the way you have to stop at those statue shops to commit to one combat style at a time, and the fixed camera angles.

 

I also much prefer Bayonetta's campy baroque angel aesthetic to DMC's campy goth demonic \m/ METAL \m/ vibe.

 

I haven't played that many games in the genre but I'd rank them:

 

Ninja Gaiden Black

Bayonetta 1

Ninja Gaiden 2

DMC3SE

Legend of Korra

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5 hours ago, Nick R said:

I also much prefer Bayonetta's campy baroque angel aesthetic


All the angels and bosses are actually bible accurate.

 


Whoever wrote the bible must have been absolutely fucking tripping their tits off on something.

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On 25/10/2021 at 13:08, ianinthefuture said:

Mags were still selling 10s of thousands of copies a month - even 100s of thousands in the case of Official PlayStation. That balance of power hadn't quite shifted until a few years later; the vast majority of people (I'm talking in the UK) didn't have internet access at home, so print still had a big role in the hype-and-info machine.

 

Yeah, I'd say games mags now sell about 1/10th of what they did then.

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17 hours ago, Lyrical Donut said:

You can;t spell ingrorant without IGN, etc.

 

https://www.ign.com/articles/2006/10/10/god-hand-review

Add Alien Isolation to the list giving it a 5.9 and gamespot also giving it a 6.0. Both did their best to try and ruin one of the games of a generation because they wanted shooty bang bang and got something a little more crafted. These types of reviews are upsetting where they’re trying to review a game for what they wish it was rather than what it actually is. 

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45 minutes ago, Ketchup said:

Add Alien Isolation to the list giving it a 5.9 and gamespot also giving it a 6.0. Both did their best to try and ruin one of the games of a generation because they wanted shooty bang bang and got something a little more crafted. These types of reviews are upsetting where they’re trying to review a game for what they wish it was rather than what it actually is. 

I can get people not liking God Hand. I love it, but I can see it being an acquired taste.

 

The most perfect Alien game ever made, though? Yeah, they're genuinely stupid reviews. Can people be retroactively fired

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9 hours ago, Ketchup said:

Add Alien Isolation to the list giving it a 5.9 and gamespot also giving it a 6.0. Both did their best to try and ruin one of the games of a generation because they wanted shooty bang bang and got something a little more crafted. These types of reviews are upsetting where they’re trying to review a game for what they wish it was rather than what it actually is. 

 

The response to that game reminds me of a recent essay about why it's almost impossible to actually review a game. Some of the stuff they mention is new but some of it's been a problem forever. How can you even realise you're playing a deliberately slow-paced, atmospheric game when it's one of six games you have to get through on a deadline that month?

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