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GTA Remastered Trilogy (GTA3/San Andreas/Vice City) - ah sh*t, here we go again


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Like, this is the fundamental proof that microtransactions are the worst thing in the world. If they hadn't got so addicted to shark cards they would have seen this project as a fundamentally worthy thing. With no long term revenue stream - they don't give a shit (it would seem).

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The Switch version is “available” for emulators already, the PC version will soon be “available” too. 
I know this is naughty, but if the ports really are that awful, I can’t blame people for going down this route out of curiosity.

 

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Played the first couple of hours of SA, no idea what version I'm playing compared to the rest of you.

 

Looked like I remember the PS2 ones looking, which is any decent remaster.  To be fair, also had a PS2 framerate.

 

The controls though seem to have been sorted and really that's literally all I need to bimble through SA on and off.

 

£55 though, I might have been a lot less charitable.

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3 hours ago, Strafe said:

Many years ago you visited a beautiful tropical beach with the prettiest woman you ever did see. You spent the day swapping your time between drinking delicious cocktails on your sun lounger and cooling off in the crystal blue waters. When the sun goes down you both go back to your luxurious beach cabin and make love all night before passing into a blissful sleep hearing the waves gently hit the shoreline.

 

It is 2021. Nostalgia overtaking your better senses, you contact the beautiful lady from years back and decide to revisit the beach. It’s off season and raining hard, the skies grey and the water muddy from what looks like a recent oil spill. There’s a guy pacing up and down the beach in a dirty cagoule, stabbing at used condoms with a litter picker. The lady turns up, she’s 20 stone now. You go and find the beach cabin and discover it’s a crack den. You’re hit over the head and realise you are being mugged just before you pass out.

 

This concludes my review of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas remastered, out today.

 

edit: not Sam Andreas 

 

Aww......bugger. GTA trilogy remaster, brexit edition.

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10 minutes ago, Dudley said:

Played the first couple of hours of SA, no idea what version I'm playing compared to the rest of you.

 

Looked like I remember the PS2 ones looking, which is any decent remaster.  To be fair, also had a PS2 framerate.

 

The controls though seem to have been sorted and really that's literally all I need to bimble through SA on and off.

 

£55 though, I might have been a lot less charitable.

Yeah, it seems fine here also, but... and ths is a massive caveat, I am playing in performance mode, on a Series X AND as it's on the telly at my Mum's house ( the internet was faster, so I brought the Xbox home to grab this and FH5 ) it is being displayed in glorious 720i 😆 couldn't look much worse, surely?

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17 minutes ago, MikeBeaver said:

Yeah, it seems fine here also, but... and ths is a massive caveat, I am playing in performance mode, on a Series X AND as it's on the telly at my Mum's house ( the internet was faster, so I brought the Xbox home to grab this and FH5 ) it is being displayed in glorious 720i 😆 couldn't look much worse, surely?

 

I'm on whatever is default.

 

Given the last game I played before it was literally on a PS2 I guess I'm just more forgiving of jank :)

 

So in lieu of further review this feels like a perfect thread for people to just pause and appreciate this, my original now 18 year old PS2 still trucking along like day 1, except on day 1 it didn't have a 2tb hard drive...

 

982483693_2021-11-1121_34_07.thumb.jpg.fcd6e20f40986631120926f4a91c8e14.jpg

 

I'd fire up GTA : SA but I worry the frame rate on the original might spoil my enjoyment of the new one.

 

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1 hour ago, Shimmyhill said:

Having played about 30th mins of the ‘free’ SA and my word this has to be one of the worst money grabs ever, its horrendous and honestly if this was 360 remake it would be passable  with a tinge of disappointment at the butchered assets - that you can make it run sub 30fps on the series x is frankly shocking.

 

£55 quid, fucking Sony would be embarrassed to charge that for this lot.

 

Yep spot on. Just had 40 mins on San Andreas via Gamepass. Absolutely dreadful. Not sure how this is the ‘definitive’ edition. Uninstalled.

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