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Revive a classic but make it modern


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A lot of early video games were a product of its time, mostly due to technological restrictions but also because the were set in "present time". We're now in the future, how would games of the past look and play today?


I'll start:


Paperboy (1985)

This game actually inspired me to get a job as a paperboy. I did my rounds really early in the morning before school, which granted me the funds to buy more games than most of my friends could afford. 

Actual papers are now less common and it seems that the majority of the population from my generation and downwards consume news digitally, so a game like Paperboy wouldn't really work these days, which is why I present to you: 

Deliveroo Boy -

Hop on your bike and accept delivery jobs from various takeaway joints. Do you play it safe and choose the shorter trips or do you take on a challenge to do longer trips for more money. Fight rush traffic, faulty GPS routes, closed roads and weather conditions. 


Upgrade your bike and navigation systems as you earn more money. Climb the career ladder and be granted the keys to the Deliveroo scooters and even cars. 
A big open world with large cities with their own respective suburbs all connected by a lovely countryside. 

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I think we’re overdue a new Yes, Prime Minister - the text game where you engage in conversations in a bid to improve your approval rating. Depending on the era you aim at, there would potentially be a lot more you could work with - recessions, pandemics, Brexit…

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Sensible World of Soccer 21/22


There are two ways this could go.


There's the good path, which is the last version of SWOS but with teams and competitions from the present day. It is therefore brilliant.


Then there's the bad path. It starts as the above, but somehow worse than you'd expect, and then the more you play it the more the game introduces "features" that only serve to make you disillusioned with the game as a whole. Your match gets moved five times to appease TV scheduling. Every defeat brings a real life twitter storm upon you, even if you're not on Twitter. The World Cup starts being played every two years, then every year, then every month until your life is nothing but the group stage. Sponsorship obligations turn a three minute match into a half hour slog. You get doxxed every time you put the ball out of play, and on Remembrance Sunday the pitch gets full of poppies, completely obscuring your view, while the theme from Cannon Fodder plays.


Ok, that last bit would be excellent.

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Rock star ate my hamster


Basically the same but with loads more options for upgrading equipment, picking acts, training, marketing, touring, creating videos and album covers and you can also put your videos on tiktok and YouTube or something.


A bit like a kairosoft game but way deeper and also made by bitter English people so it has a lot of satire.

Ideally it also has some sort of text to speech so you can write your own lyrics and have a siri/ sat nav type thing read out your childish lyrics rhyming poo and loo every song. 

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Elite Brexit edition - its a massive space trading game where all the planets around you hate you and if you try to sell sausages or do anything they won't let you into the ports until your sausages have gone off, plus all the pilots you need to fly your spaceships have been sent home as filthy alien scum you didn't want on your planet anymore so you've ruined your whole sausage export business.


It is though still considered a great success as you don't have to pay 350m space credits a day to the international space federation.

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Burger Time 2022 Edition


In 1982 we got to play as chef Pete Pepper who had to assemble hamburgers by walking over ingredients. 

Now his twins, Gary Ghostpepper & Siri PiriPiri has taken over his burger joint and decides to stand out in a modern world full of competitors. 


While dads signature burger made of a bun, lettuce, tomato and patties is still on the menu, Gary & Siri has extended the menu to reflect our modern times. 


Assemble simple burgers with new ingredients, like smashed patties, loose patties, tofu patties, you won't believe it's not meat patties,  sriracha mayo, truffle mayo, heirloom tomatoes of different colours, white onions, red onions, green onions, pickled onions, caramelized onions, bacon, smoked bacon, streak bacon, canadian bacon, thick cut bacon,  honey mustard, english mustard, japanese mustard, whole grain mustard, american cheese, gouda, parmezan, gruyere, manchego, monterey pepper jack, mozarella, potato buns, brioche buns, gluten free buns, rhye buns, lettuce, romain salad, rocket leaf salad, iceberg salad to name just a few of the simple ingredients to make a humble burger. 


If it isn't challenging enough to assemble the perfect burger you might be interrupted by unreliable modern equipment, vegan customers and customers with other dietary needs like no gluten, no carbs, no diary, no nuts or no nothing. 


Try to stay in business without losing all customers to competitors like HurrDurr King, McBinalds, Up 'n Down Burger and Limpy. 



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Comix Zone 2


In the original, you played Sketch Turner, a cartoonist who got transported inside his own comic. In this sequel, that artist gets transported inside the movie adaptation of his own comic! Can he fight his way through the hordes of executives to ensure that a multi-billion dollar corporation will give him fair credit and financial compensation for the ideas he created? (Bit of topical social commentary for you, there.)


At the end, there's a post-credit scene in which Sketch Turner is visited by Kid Chameleon, who reveals that the movie is just the first entry in the STIECU (Sega Technical Institute Extended Cinematic Universe), setting up the sequel...


Comix Zone 3: Dawn of the Age of Sketch Turner Vs The Ooze


True to the shared universe promise, Sketch Turner must now battle enemies from other Sega Technical Institute games: Kid Chameleon, The Ooze, and Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude! (Unfortunately, nothing from Sonic Spinball, because of boring legal issues with Sega Japan.)


However, fans are not pleased with the quality of this game. It's revealed that the version that was released was not what the original developers intended. And so an online fan campaign begins: #ReleaseTheMarkCernyCut. This is ultimately successful, leading to the release of...


Mark Cerny's Comix Zone 3: Dawn of the Age of Sketch Turner Vs The Ooze


It's like the original version, but with extra levels that double the game's length, and it's in 4:3 for some reason.

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How weird, my brother and I have been discussing the ways in which we'd do a remake of Werewolves of London recently. 


He'd just wanna do a straight remake. But for me, the original game is too basic and a bit crap. I'd make it a rogue lite, randomised map and item / victim locations. Permadeath. Make the police actually scary. 


Would make it so you'd somehow be forced into being seen in public as the wolf, and murder people for clues etc.  Maybe the wolfs senses could help you find victims. Sleuthing in the day time, trying to get clues. 


Not sure whether I'd set in modern times or go for Victorian, as modern armed forces would decimate a werewolf, lol. 

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