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Depression and collecting games


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10 hours ago, strider said:

I have one meeting every day with the Retro Gamer team, but it's not the same. I never asked to work from home. That choice was made for me when our office was shut down and it's simply not economically viable to travel to Bath from Bournemouth every single day.

I can imagine that's so shitty after all the fun-sounding office banter and debates that used be alluded to in the RG magazine.

 

Some people seriously champion all this working from home business and go on about all the cold, logical ways it makes sense, but completely ignore the destruction of the community and social aspects, forgetting that not everybody has a big happening life outside of work. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that simply don't care about the situations of other people and assume that EVERYBODY hates the office and their co-workers, and that escaping it is a big win.

 

I think one more general issue with depression and filling the void with collecting/spending is that you can only really see the problem from outside yourself. For example, I used to watch a Youtube channel from a guy called Xfile2078 (no idea what happened to him or if he is still going) and I enjoyed it until the day when I realised that this guy was doing package videos almost every day, with heaps of stuff turning up, and I eventually started to question how much the rest of his life may be affected by all of this spending, amassing heaps of stuff that will certainly never be used, and making videos. Like, how much time was this hobby stealing away from the time he could be spending with family? As a disclaimer, I didn't know him personally or whatever so I don't know anything about his actual personal situation, but I started to wonder if I was a little like that and if my own collecting/buying looked just as excessive and out-of-control to others. Started making the gears turn in my head and making me look at myself a bit harder anyway.

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10 minutes ago, megamixer said:

I can imagine that's so shitty after all the fun-sounding office banter and debates that used be alluded to in the RG magazine.

 

Some people seriously champion all this working from home business and go on about all the cold, logical ways it makes sense, but completely ignore the destruction of the community and social aspects, forgetting that not everybody has a big happening life outside of work. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that simply don't care about the situations of other people and assume that EVERYBODY hates the office and their co-workers, and that escaping it is a big win.

 

I think one more general issue with depression and filling the void with collecting/spending is that you can only really see the problem from outside yourself. For example, I used to watch a Youtube channel from a guy called Xfile2078 (no idea what happened to him or if he is still going) and I enjoyed it until the day when I realised that this guy was doing package videos almost every day, with heaps of stuff turning up, and I eventually started to question how much the rest of his life may be affected by all of this spending, amassing heaps of stuff that will certainly never be used, and making videos. Like, how much time was this hobby stealing away from the time he could be spending with family? As a disclaimer, I didn't know him personally or whatever so I don't know anything about his actual personal situation, but I started to wonder if I was a little like that and if my own collecting/buying looked just as excessive and out-of-control to others. Started making the gears turn in my head and making me look at myself a bit harder anyway.

Oh my! I remember xfile2078, what a blast from the past.

There are a lot of benefits from working from home and I enjoy aspects of it, but I’ve missed the office and yes we had a lot of fun working together and coming up with ideas for features etc. we still do that obviously but it’s not the same.

And yes, it’s all too easy to lose track of your spending. It’s been fun buying Wii games for a few quid so it’s not costing me a lot but it is taking up space I don’t really have.

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£200 for a N64?, I hope it had the memory pak installed as well.

 

But yeah I been buying old toys from my childhood remembering happier times. Regardless hope you are doing OK Strider.

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1 hour ago, yakumo said:

£200 for a N64?, I hope it had the memory pak installed as well.

 

But yeah I been buying old toys from my childhood remembering happier times. Regardless hope you are doing OK Strider.

It was a game, not a console 😂

Thanks for the well wishes 👍

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I hear ya re: working from home. For some people, it’s heaven, but I miss cycling to work, the separation of going to work and in person collaboration. And I’m pretty damn introverted!

 

I always have to have something in the post to help offset a constant sadness I feel if I stop to think too long about it.

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9 hours ago, Colonel Panic said:

I hear ya re: working from home. For some people, it’s heaven, but I miss cycling to work, the separation of going to work and in person collaboration. And I’m pretty damn introverted!

Yeah, my half hour walk was a good way to prepare for the day as well. I don’t generally like being around people but I loved nosing around and seeing what colleges were doing, offering advice, learning new things.

All gone. Forever.

 

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I'm in the same position. After commuting for 20 years, I've been exclusively working from home for the past couple of years, with no sign of that changing.

Puzzle and strategy games have always helped settle my mind, but it's taking up ice skating / hockey that has genuinely helped me most. 2 or 3 times a week I take myself to the local rink for and I get myself physically knackered and practice / have a lesson. There's a bunch of other people to catch up with and everyone encourages each other. If I weren't breaking my working week up with this.. replacing the work commute and banter... I'd be finding it hard.

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1 hour ago, zipper said:

I'm in the same position. After commuting for 20 years, I've been exclusively working from home for the past couple of years, with no sign of that changing.

Puzzle and strategy games have always helped settle my mind, but it's taking up ice skating / hockey that has genuinely helped me most. 2 or 3 times a week I take myself to the local rink for and I get myself physically knackered and practice / have a lesson. There's a bunch of other people to catch up with and everyone encourages each other. If I weren't breaking my working week up with this.. replacing the work commute and banter... I'd be finding it hard.

I did join a photography club as a way of meeting and interacting with people but it was so focussed on competitions that it put me off returning to it. I have huge issues with anxiety and self doubt and the thought of having my photos openly judged just sickened me so I found it easier to stop going.

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To flip it around, if I was going into the office I'd have never coped with my bit of a breakdown and wouldn't have had the time to do any of the things that sorted me out. 

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33 minutes ago, Lorfarius said:

 

One of my future plans is to pick up a Series S, mod it and fit one of those new portable screens as they don't draw too much power on a single plug. That way I have a media box for TV, films and games for trips when it gets boring in the evening possibly picking up a wireless router ti go online. For this trip I didn't have one so I just used a laptop and had no problems running it off the solar panel mounted on the roof.  I even bought an electric bike recently which folds up into a nice neat carryable bit of luggage. Its really given me something to look forward to and I don't know if you might want to give it a go but I used Camplify to find something local to me.

 

Funnily enough, I was just having my weekly chat and solar panels and gaming came up. My friend is able to keep an Anbernic RG280V ticking over with a cheap £7 solar panel that doesn't even hold a charge. 

 

I've already got this https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08P428WK5/ for emergencies (and can be charged from mains too), and it was just ticking over keeping my controllers alive. But I'm going to see what I can get running off it (in a week or so, I'm busy). See if it can keep a v90 constantly charged or even run my Quieter3q PC. 

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12 minutes ago, AK Bell said:

 

Funnily enough, I was just having my weekly chat and solar panels and gaming came up. My friend is able to keep an Anbernic RG280V ticking over with a cheap £7 solar panel that doesn't even hold a charge. 

 

I've already got this https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08P428WK5/ for emergencies (and can be charged from mains too), and it was just ticking over keeping my controllers alive. But I'm going to see what I can get running off it (in a week or so, I'm busy). See if it can keep a v90 constantly charged or even run my Quieter3q PC. 

 

That's amazing and so cheap!! With the way power prices are going up at the moment I might get one of those power banks to charge in the window at work and take it home each night 🤣

 

The Power Oaks are a good way to go for more substantial power needs.

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3 minutes ago, Lorfarius said:

 

That's amazing and so cheap!! With the way power prices are going up at the moment I might get one of those power banks to charge in the window at work and take it home each night 🤣

 

The Power Oaks are a good way to go for more substantial power needs.

 

If they drag me back into the office, I'm taking all my regular power banks with me to charge from my PC!

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On 24/05/2022 at 11:48, strider said:

I used to have regular game nights but that no longer seems to be on the table. Most of my friends have families with far younger kids than I do so they don't really have the option to come over. I might start up a game chat online. That could be quite fun.

I think collecting can be a wholesome hobby as well but like anything it's prone to abuse, whether intentional or unintentional. I've bought a couple of high-end items recently and I'm making a point of completing them (nearly finished one and then I'll start Indy).

I know how you feel about games playing; it can be a lonely experience these days. Particularly if you’re into retro gaming, even more so on original hardware where online play isn’t an option, and again more so if your gaming pals now have kids. I barely can be motivated these days to play retro even when it’s straight in front of me (NSO Nintendo library), let alone requires setting up the Framemeister and so on, despite regularly consuming RG, retro gaming books, and YouTube content. Not sure I will even play any retro this year unless my brother visits again, or I get the DE10 Nano I need to complete the MiSTer I have in progress… :( 

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15 hours ago, megamixer said:

Some people seriously champion all this working from home business and go on about all the cold, logical ways it makes sense, but completely ignore the destruction of the community and social aspects, forgetting that not everybody has a big happening life outside of work. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that simply don't care about the situations of other people and assume that EVERYBODY hates the office and their co-workers, and that escaping it is a big win.

 

I wrote a long post in the COVID / return to work thread about why working from home was bad, but felt it was too against the Rllmuk grain and mentally, at the time couldn't be bothered with the potential backlash (hive mind etc...)

 

To be clear, I'm an advocate for working from home, it suits me well as I have separation (my dining room), a nice set up with standing desk, a good office chair, monitors at the height I want them, my choice of loud music, access to my house vs the office which has crap chairs, and no microwave if I want to bring a hot lunch, needs a walk and if it's raining who can be bothered, is awkward if I'm on calls all day in a shared room etc.

 

BUT

 

It also means I get up for work - fall out of bed and arrive at the office.  I don't leave the house most days, I'm not mentally in a place where I can just go out for a walk, or go for a cycle.  My main fitness was cycling to work, a few days a week, but that's gone as I needed being in the office to force me to do it.

 

I'm a manager and some of my team were / are really isolated through working from home.  

I set up a 30 minute call first thing everyday, optional, but encouraged attendance, where we basically meet and talk about anything.  What happened last night, films, vans, dogs, the weather, work even.  It's not a full solution but it helped me.  I don't have the mental capability of doing full on massively efficient and productive work days each and every day with nothing else.  I think it helped us all to communicate better via Teams too, which, as we all know, is no substitute for in person communication.

 

As others in this thread who have said similar, I'm pretty introverted too. I'm outspoken and confident among friends and colleagues, especially my team, but otherwise am lost in social situations.

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On 23/05/2022 at 19:36, strider said:

I’ve been really good lately which annoys me why I’ve slipped up here. 

 

You shouldn't beat yourself up, it's all part of being human.  No one is perfect, everyone make little mistakes, it's how we react to them that matters.

 

Posting this thread seems like a pretty positive step forward to me. Hopefully someone posts something that resonates and helps. 

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6 hours ago, strider said:

I did join a photography club as a way of meeting and interacting with people but it was so focussed on competitions that it put me off returning to it. I have huge issues with anxiety and self doubt and the thought of having my photos openly judged just sickened me so I found it easier to stop going.

I can absolutely see how a competitive hobby / club / sport would be the wrong step to take. I'm not the sort of person that craves manufactured pressures to win/ compete in my spare time at all. Why anyone chooses to do that to themselves is beyond me.

I would say that having a hobby that requires physical exertion is a huge (and immediate) benefit to my mental health. To me, gaming and collecting distracts the brain and acts like comfort food (not a bad thing), but for as long as I'm not physically tired, my mind has energy to catastrophise. Although I'm learning ice hockey skills, i've no desire whatsover to compete - even recreationally. It's all about incrementally learning the skills, having a laugh (falling over a lot), getting absolutely shattered and looking forward to the next visit.

 

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1 hour ago, Corranga said:

 

You shouldn't beat yourself up, it's all part of being human.  No one is perfect, everyone make little mistakes, it's how we react to them that matters.

 

Posting this thread seems like a pretty positive step forward to me. Hopefully someone posts something that resonates and helps. 

That's a good point. I don't have a large circle of friends really and have been missing the few people I used to regularly converse with so this felt like a good way to get some additional insight. Hopefully it's allowed others to talk about it as well.

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7 minutes ago, zipper said:

I can absolutely see how a competitive hobby / club / sport would be the wrong step to take. I'm not the sort of person that craves manufactured pressures to win/ compete in my spare time at all. Why anyone chooses to do that to themselves is beyond me.

I would say that having a hobby that requires physical exertion is a huge (and immediate) benefit to my mental health. To me, gaming and collecting distracts the brain and acts like comfort food (not a bad thing), but for as long as I'm not physically tired, my mind has energy to catastrophise. Although I'm learning ice hockey skills, i've no desire whatsover to compete - even recreationally. It's all about incrementally learning the skills, having a laugh (falling over a lot), getting absolutely shattered and looking forward to the next visit.

 

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I used to love sharing my pics online and in the thread we have on the forum but there's a big difference between showing off stuff you're generally pleased with to having everything you potentially do scrutinised. I largely joined up so I could start mixing with people again but the pressure and constant talk of competitions have put me off and I don't feel I can go back there.

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6 hours ago, Lorfarius said:

 

Recently had some life changing news and with me having no partner, no friends and only really speaking to the people I work with I was getting very down/depressed. Can be very soul destroying at times and tend to worry I'm sinking into gaming/TV too much as that's all I had.  After all the time sat at home through Covid I stumbled upon some campervan vids on Youtube, people travelling to spots around the UK and spending a couple of nights walking around, exploring. They seemed to be exploring what the UK had to offer and even venturing out into Europe. I spend all my days at work and flat so was def getting the itch to go out more.

 

This gave me the idea of going out on weekend/day trips and just doing something different. So a couple of months ago I hired one of these:

 

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It only cost me £75 a night with full insurance and had a double bed with extra room up top f(I tried both beds and it had loads of space, I'm 6'1!). They have stove, fridge and working taps. For my trip I stopped at a campsite just to use the facilites but it has space for a chemical loo if needed and there's plenty of USB showers that can be bought.

 

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 7.jpeg.6da0c401de7b7e3ab8c5a38be1e8ddcc.jpeg

 

I know you are one for bird watching and the pop up roof on these are perfect for parking somewhere and sitting up in the space with a pair of binoculars/camera (its like a bench when pulled closer to the windows and can support peoples weight. Could easily drive to parks, moors, bird spots etc. for some bird watching. Anyway off the back of all that I've decided to buy one and hoping to jump in over the next few months thanks to Auto Trader/FB Marketplace.

 

One of my future plans is to pick up a Series S, mod it and fit one of those new portable screens as they don't draw too much power on a single plug. That way I have a media box for TV, films and games for trips when it gets boring in the evening possibly picking up a wireless router ti go online. For this trip I didn't have one so I just used a laptop and had no problems running it off the solar panel mounted on the roof.  I even bought an electric bike recently which folds up into a nice neat carryable bit of luggage. Its really given me something to look forward to and I don't know if you might want to give it a go but I used Camplify to find something local to me.

I've never wanted to be able to drive so bad as I have after reading that. That's amazing. 

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17 hours ago, Vimster said:

I've never wanted to be able to drive so bad as I have after reading that. That's amazing. 

I passed my test this past Tuesday at the ripe young age of 38; if I can do it etc etc.

 

(barring disabilities etc that may preclude, don't want to assume here)

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Just now, ianinthefuture said:

I passed my test this past Tuesday at the ripe young age of 38; if I can do it etc etc.

 

(barring disabilities etc that may preclude, don't want to assume here)

Yeah, my eyesight isn't good enough to drive, sadly. 

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@strider I would love to go for casual walks with you along the beach or whatever, my bullshit level is equal to your cousin Matt so if you can tolerate him you can tolerate me except I'm way geekier - my problem is I am super unreliable right now and would feel bad as I can't commit to shit and can't really do shit for more than ten minutes without needing to rest. If I get better I'd totally be up for it though as well as @Protocol Penguin if we can rope him in. Fair few others on the forum from around Bournemouth too, surprisingly. Hopefully @marsh would be up for it too if he's ever working down here again in the future, love that twat.

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I was down Bournemouth last weekend, the weather was glorious. If I can ditch the family for a bit I’d take you to the crane machines in the pier. (I’m awesome at them)

 

Bournemouth Rllmuk meet anyone?

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10 hours ago, Haribokart said:

@strider I would love to go for casual walks with you along the beach or whatever, my bullshit level is equal to your cousin Matt so if you can tolerate him you can tolerate me except I'm way geekier - my problem is I am super unreliable right now and would feel bad as I can't commit to shit and can't really do shit for more than ten minutes without needing to rest. If I get better I'd totally be up for it though as well as @Protocol Penguin if we can rope him in. Fair few others on the forum from around Bournemouth too, surprisingly. Hopefully @marsh would be up for it too if he's ever working down here again in the future, love that twat.

I’d be up for a meet and no worries about the resting 👍

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