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Great bad movies. (But not The Room, we all know that one)


Stevie
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Some of you might be familiar with Blood in Blood Out, a fantastic movie about Chicano street gangs in Los Angeles. Turns out the star in the movie Damian Chapa never stopped acting, and as a result we got masterpieces like 

 

Vatos Locos

 

 

 

and Latin Hitman

 

 

 

 

I love bad movies. Please post your recommendations here. 

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Samurai Cop was my first thought too. This was my second.

 

 

Then there's Deadly Eyes, which is only really great for one thing...

 

Spoiler

Giant rats played by sausage dogs in rat suits

 

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Troll 2 is my favourite bad/good film as it’s genuinely entertaining from beginning to end, whereas something like Birdemic is on a technical level barely watchable. Terrible sound, no ADR so you can barely hear what people are saying (no subtitles on DVD either) along with terrible acting, directing and camera work.

 

I love watching Neil Breen’s work too. Fascinating to watch while trying to understand what that man was thinking while he was writing, editing and directing those amazing piles of trash.

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I have a soft spot for Super Mario Bros. 

It's bad but not as bad as some make out. 

 

No Holds Barred is amazingly bad and funny as hell And worth a watch just for one insane scene that will make you go "What is that? ha!!! What? Wtf?"

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Oh, I got so many, but I'll leave you with this masterpiece for now:

 

 

Death Machines defies belief. It fails on every level - terrible acting, a genuinely nonsensical plot, clumsy action, comically ineffectual heroes, and best of all a frankly extraordinary score that appears to be a non-musician freestyling on a piano while watching the film for the first time.

 

The titular Death Machines are three seemingly indestructible killers programmed by a shady organisation in order to corner the market in assassinations. There's a sequence at the start, Han's Island style, showing some matchups that whittle the candidates down to these three. We see knives versus sticks, swords versus nunchucks, and hilariously one that's resolved by a guy simply pulling a gun and shooting his opponent. This movie predates Raiders of the Lost Ark by years.

 

The business proposition angle doesn't really work out, since during the course of the film they not only kill all their competitors, but also their own clients and ultimately find themselves on the hook just because the woman who runs the team gets huffy at them. Kind of a bad investment. None of this happens in a clever, backstabbing 5D chess sort of way, it happens because the writers clearly didn't do a second draft where they ironed out what the fuck was happening scene to scene.

 

What I assume is supposed to be the hero of the movie does nothing except repeatedly get beaten up. At one point he's in a bar and a fight breaks out so you think "Ah, this is where our guy steps up". Nope. He gets the shit kicked out of him and the bar gets trashed. This has got nothing to do with anything else in the film.

 

One of the DMs gets arrested but busts out of the police station, in a sequence that involves some hilarious friendly fire incidents but does culminate in that wicked spin kick through the cop car window, which is the reason we watched the movie.

 

There's so much more. Every scene or sequence is unintentionally stupid, often to the point of making me cry with laughter.

 

I haven't had so much fun with a bad movie since R.O.T.O.R.

 

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Mac and Me, mainly for inspiring Paul Rudd’s long-running bit of showing the same clip from the film whenever he’s on Conan to promote something else.

 

Also, Showgirls is a trip. But that might be veering too much into cult cinema territory.

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Demons 1 and 2

 

Neither film is great, they have some awful dubbing, scenes/characters that literally go nowhere (in the case of the 2nd film some just disappear altogether and have no impact on the film at all) and have random things happening that makes no sense what so ever, but god damn I enjoy them so much. 

 

The demons look great, they're relentless and utter evil bastards. There really is zero plot other than demons chasing people around a building but they're so much fun.

 

Also Tony the Pimp is amazing.

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Roar has to up there. It’s not just completely terrible from a technical point of view, it’s just terribly conceived from top to bottom. 

I think this frame from the Roar re-release trailer says it all:

 

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If you don’t know it, Roar came about because Tippi Hedren (of The Birds fame) opened a ramshackle wildlife reserve for lions tigers and assorted other animals, and they decided to shoot a film with them. These animals were not trained in any way. 
 

The script reads like a cute kids movie but the execution is pure horror. You can actively see the actors flinching away from the big cats in most shots. It’s actively terrifying, particularly when some of the actors get mauled on camera. Tippi’s daughter teenage Melanie Griffith (yes, that one) is in the film, and she was attacked so badly she needed reconstructive facial surgery. Cinematographer Jan DeBont (Yes, that one) was literally scalped by a lion during filming. He still came back and shot the rest of the film.
 

Really has to be seen to be believed. 
 

Someone uploaded the whole film onto YouTube:

 

 

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16 hours ago, Stevie said:

 

Some of you might be familiar with Blood in Blood Out, a fantastic movie about Chicano street gangs in Los Angeles. Turns out the star in the movie Damian Chapa never stopped acting, and as a result we got masterpieces like 

 

Vatos Locos

 

 

 

and Latin Hitman

 

 

 

 

I love bad movies. Please post your recommendations here. 

Blood In Blood Out is the Latin Gofather movie we didn't know we needed. Vatos Locos forever!!! It's the reason I learned Spanish (I never learned Spanish)

I'd like to volunteer Crimewave. Written by the Coen Brothers and directed by Sam Raimi. Its total shit, and yet every scene is an absolute stone cold classic. it's the best worst film ever made
 


Also, Cherry 2000. How could a film this bad be so good!?
 

 

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3 hours ago, Turino 73 said:

Blood In Blood Out is the Latin Gofather movie we didn't know we needed. Vatos Locos forever!!! It's the reason I learned Spanish (I never learned Spanish)

I'd like to volunteer Crimewave. Written by the Coen Brothers and directed by Sam Raimi. Its total shit, and yet every scene is an absolute stone cold classic. it's the best worst film every made
 


Also, Cherry 2000. How could a film this bad be so good!?
 

 


Weird that both of these trailers use the music from Taxi Driver.

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4 hours ago, Camel said:


Weird that both of these trailers use the music from Taxi Driver.

Oooooooooh! Good spot!!!! I wonder if thats a subliminal reason I rented both of these and loved them? I certainly saw Taxi Driver over a dozen times before I rented these dire (yet absolutely incredible) films....?

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15 hours ago, Festoon said:

They missed this from Oscar winner Tom Hanks.

 

 

 

 

1. That looks like the World Trade Center

2. Jesus, look at all that smog!

3. Even as a kid Tom Hanks looks like hes in his mid 30's

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I watched Species for the first time recently. It's astoundingly, hilariously shit (bad writing, terrible CGI and hammy action) and instantly rocketed to near the top of my 'so bad it's good' list. 

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1 minute ago, Yobo Ahoy said:

I watched Species for the first time recently. It's astoundingly, hilariously shit (bad writing, terrible CGI and hammy action) and instantly rocketed to near the top of my 'so bad it's good' list. 

I saw this in a 2 screen cinema in Amsterdam and loved/hated it. No lie, the film playing in the other screen (and advertised in the marquee) was 'Big fucking tits II'...

I didn't regret my choice. The first one was shit!

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7 minutes ago, Yobo Ahoy said:

I watched Species for the first time recently. It's astoundingly, hilariously shit (bad writing, terrible CGI and hammy action) and instantly rocketed to near the top of my 'so bad it's good' list. 

 

I may be misremembering this, but my favourite line in Species was Forest Whittaker's psychic character walking into a room (train carriage?) dripping in blood, then closing his eyes and saying "Something bad happened here." 

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17 minutes ago, Stevie said:

 

 

1. That looks like the World Trade Center

2. Jesus, look at all that smog!

3. Even as a kid Tom Hanks looks like hes in his mid 30's

 

I think it is the World Trade Centre, yeah.

 

The film, 'Mazes and Monsters' is worth a watch for the frankly insane take on D&D.

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42 minutes ago, teddymeow said:

I seem to be the only person who likes John Carpenter's 1994 "In the Mouth of Madness".

 

Sam Neill and Jurgen Prochnow hamming it up to high-Heaven and beyond.

N'ah, I'm with you on that one. I think it's quite hard to get physical nowadays (or at least it was). Might have to find a copy for a rewatch.

 

My contribution is Razorblade Smile. Utterly camp, objectively terrible vampire assassin movie from Manga Live that was a VHS rental staple when I was at uni. Eileen Daly really fills a leather catsuit but doesn't quite have the acting chops. Still, it's a fantastic slice of 90s UK goth culture with some wonderfully cheesy quotable lines. Works well as a double feature for the Dani Filth vehicle Cradle of Fear too, which also features Bitz alumnus Emmy Booth.

 

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Immediately thought of Starcrash (1978), post-Star Wars space opera that divides opinion, so-bad-it's-great for some, a baffling mess for others. 

 

Starship Invasions (1977) - Not even Christopher Lee can save this, with Robert Vaughan as a UFO expert getting involved with aliens trying to save Earth from invasion by their rivals. Worth watching for that late-70s production style a lot of cheap movies had. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QESnwxRUxyw

 

Loads more, it's all I seem to watch these days. 

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