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Eat my Snake!


Otacon

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EXT.SOME TROPICAL JUNGLE HELLHOLE.DAY

Boss Snake is hiding behind a tree. Closing in ons him are over a dozen enemy soldiers, armed with AK47s, grenades and a couple of miniguns. Snake looks at his magazine and growls - only 8 shots left. He pulls out a grenade, screams a deafening, terrifying roar and prepares to go down in a blaze of glory when...

...his codec beeps.

BOSS SNAKE: Not now, I'm busy.

ANDREA SILVERBURGH: No, Snake. This is important.

SNAKE: I'll call you back!

ANDREA: I've just had sex with my boyfriend's brother.

SNAKE: Little Roy? What the Hell?

ANDREA: We were drunk, we started playing Strip Boggle...things went on from there.

(beat)

ANDREA: I feel so cheap.

SNAKE: Why are you telling me all this?

ANDREA: I don't know...I just need to get it off my chest. It'll never happen again though. No, never.

SNAKE: Andrea...there's no time to think about things on a battlefield. It's all about instinct. If it felt natural, right, then it prob- hang on a sec.

Boss Snake spins round and shoots one of the approaching troops right between the eyes. This wakes up the rest of the platoon, who had fallen asleep waiting for something to happen. They dive into the bushes for cover.

SNAKE: Where was I? Oh, yeah. If it felt right then it was right. Don't think, just do it. Just make sure you don't get caught.

ANDREA: You think so? I don't know...since I left college my life has just been one disasterous relationship after another, mainly because I've done just that. I remember one time, we had a toga party and I ended up dancing with the entire football team, even the kickers. It was fun but I felt so demeaned the next day...like part of my soul had died. That's why I decided to join Army Intelligence. Well, that and because what happened to my parents in Korea...

(Sad music starts playing in the background)

SNAKE: Your parents? What the Hell?

ANDREA: Yes...my parents. They...they...were accidentally killed by a Marine patrol 8 years ago. They were driving along an unsafe road but never knew and-

SNAKE: Andrea! Your parents...were they a short French man and a really tall German woman? In a pink & blue jeep?

The player, having had enough, throws their joypad at the screen. Failing to damage it, they then throw a coffee mug, shattering the screen and causing a small electrical fire to start. They then rip the disc out of their PS2, snap it with their bare hands, throw the pieces to the ground and jump up and down on it repeatedly...

That... THAT WAS ABSOLOUTELY GRIPPING!!!

What happens next?

Itwas BigBoss, wasn't it. He killed her parents didnt he. DIDN'T HE??

postsomemore. WE HAVE TO KNOW!

must...breathe...calm...calm down....*wheeze*

:D

:D

:D

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What's with the run cycle? It's been the same since MGS. The upperhalf of his body doesn't move at all while he runs and his hips stay absolutely level to the ground...

(Sorry, animation student here)

I thought they used motion capture for the animations in MGS2? Or maybe that's just for the cutscenes? Or maybe it's for reference only?

Hmmm... can't say I've noticed.

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That's definately not the same walk cycle as MGS! It is, however, the same as MGS2's one, which features a minimal amount of bob when walking, and MGS2's run cycle is there as well, and so's the crawl, with an added "Stalk" cycle when moving upright or crawling.

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Hopefully they'll have done something about the gay way he runs up stairs. Why can they never get stairs right in most videogames? The way he's animated in MGS2 is one of the funniest things I've seen. It's like a cartoon tip-toe movement. You can almost hear the two high notes on a piano as he moves - ding-ding, ding-ding etc.

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And also a crocodile head... :ph34r:

I'm still hoping for a duck hat, with realistic quack. :P

I liked that video, gave me at least a feeling that MGS3 will play different from it's predecessors. Maybe you'll have to find the right camo and paint to progress through certain parts?

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The fact that MGS on Playstation didn't have an anamorphic widescreen option was a disappointment. The fact that the 2004 remake didn't have it was a fucking insult.

Snake Eater better have it or I might just not buy it. With all the cut scenes in a game like this, having to zoom in/out every 5 mins is a fucking pain in the arse.

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That... THAT WAS ABSOLOUTELY GRIPPING!!!

What happens next?

Itwas BigBoss, wasn't it. He killed her parents didnt he. DIDN'T HE??

postsomemore. WE HAVE TO KNOW!

must...breathe...calm...calm down....*wheeze*

;)

:)

;)

continued...

SNAKE: Andrea! Your parents...were they a short French man and a really tall German woman? In a pink & blue jeep?

The player, having had enough, throws their joypad at the screen. Failing to damage it, they then throw a coffee mug, shattering the screen and causing a small electrical fire to start. They then rip the disc out of their PS2, snap it with their bare hands, throw the pieces to the ground and jump up and down on it repeatedly...

*Amazingly the game boots up again to the players disbelief*

ANDREA: No, however the Marine Patrol was led by a diminutive Japanese agent by the name of Colonel BZZZT Bzzzt *Crackle* ... Kojima. He actually shot my mother and father with a gun fashioned out of stickle bricks. He claimed it wasn't the proper traditional Danish issue and...

SNAKE: Just hang on Andrea something is happening here!

ANDREA: I'm not Andrea anymore...

(Sinister Music plays in the background)

* A large disembodied head appears on the screen looking like a small Japanese man with an evil grin on his face*

p02_thumb03.jpg

(Manic Laughter)

Kojima: Ahaahahah it's only a game that's what Konami told me! Only a game! Just make one more we need the big bucks then you'll be free they said...

Slowly the tip of a small sticklebrick gun appears out of the screen in a reverse Videodrome moment and as the player stares in astonishment a plastic green spiky brick is lodged in the right hemisphere of his brain.

*The Kojima head holds up a big bright sign with neon lights saying GAME OVER muttering to himself that now he'll maybe be able to get round to working on that updated next generation Snatcher game if he's lucky*

("Steal my Sunshine" by Len plays to fade...)

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