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Nintendo conference summary?


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Pfft! I came thrice!

Started off with a montage of Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, Res Evil 4 and a couple others.

Then Reggie came on, did some talking about how it's about the games and it kicks ass or something or another. Then he mentioned the stars coming out. Surprisingly this was nothing to do with the Stars Catalogue. Then another montage of games.

Then some boring figures talk from harrison and some funny little digs at Microsoft and Sony (or did Reggie do this?).

Then a video of people in stores talking about the DS. Then some developers. Then the official unveiling of the machine. Including it's features such as voice recognition, touch screen, 3D graphics, Wi-Fi play etc. Saw Mario 64X4 and Metroid Prime: Hunters on it, everyone came. Then some more developers again.

Then Saturo Iwata came on, spoke some stuff in Engrish about the Gamecube successor codenamed Revolution and said that they will be ready in time for the competitors.

Then Zelda, in all new 'mature' graphics, everybody came again. The the legend that is Miyamoto took to stage and scared the shit out of everyone by swinging a sword around!

Back to Reggie to finish off and that was it.

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New software. New handheld. Cheering at the word WiFi. Miyamoto saying something in Engrish. Mature Zelda. 'We're number two!' Implied talk that Sony are cunts. Direct talk that Sony are being stupid. General sense of bemusement and intrigue, which I call bemutrigue.

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And go nutzoid. Wario Ware DS and Animal Crossing DS and two completely new Zelda adventures and Wifi and and and and I'm going to come again...NOW! No, not yet...

Yeah... that's it... ye... ahhhhh....

*reaches for paper towel*

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A shit load of games!

TBD Animal Crossing DS DS

TBD Mario Kart DS DS

TBD Metroid Prime: Hunters DS

TBD NEW Super Mario Bros. DS

TBD PictoChat DS

TBD Super Mario 64X4 DS

TBD WarioWare Inc. DS DS

TBD The Legend of Zelda GCN

2005 Advance Wars: Under Fire GCN

2005 DK: King of Swing GBA

2005 Donkey Kong Jungle Beat GCN

2005 Fire Emblem GCN

2005 The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap GBA

2005 Mario Tennis GCN

Q4, 2004 Geist GCN

12/06/04 Mario Party Advance GBA

11/29/04 Star Fox GCN

11/15/04 Donkey Kong Country 2 GBA

11/15/04 Metroid Prime 2: Echoes GCN

10/18/04 Kirby & The Amazing Mirror GBA

10/11/04 Paper Mario 2 GCN

10/04/04 Mario Pinball GBA

09/27/04 Donkey Konga GCN

09/14/04 F-ZERO GP Legend GBA

09/07/04 Pokémon FireRed & Pokémon LeafGreen GBA

08/30/04 Pikmin 2 GCN

07/26/04 Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Games GBA

06/21/04 Mario Golf: Advance Tour GBA

06/07/04 The Legend of Zelda GBA

06/07/04 Super Mario Bros. GBA

06/07/04 Ice Climber GBA

06/07/04 Excitebike GBA

06/07/04 Donkey Kong GBA

06/07/04 The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures GCN

05/24/04 Mario vs. Donkey Kong GBA

05/10/04 Custom Robo GCN

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What did you expect? They kept a lid on Realistic Zelda. We were expecting a cel-shaded adventure. Not high speed combat on horseback. Or a dark new style. Or indeed some advanced combat. Monsters that wield chains?

They've had to create a completely new engine for it. This is not WW2.

Tons of inventive games for DS. All of which were NOT known about.

The whole DS was an unknown. Until today no one knew what it looked like. Or the Wi-Fi or Mike or even the fact that N64 graphics were a given.

Nintendo basically said they can't be arsed with the hardware race anymore. Not totally surprising, but certainly unprecedented at E3 to say "we don't give a **** about more polys"

You could say exactly the same about the Xbox launch. We knew it was all coming. That's the nature of the internet. It tends to spoil things.

If you follow E3 hoping to be totally surprised, you'll be sorely disappointed.

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