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Let's Write A Big Letter To Bill Gates

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What a great idea!

We can construct it in the thread, and then add our names to the bottom.

First pass (basic)

"Dear Bill,

Thank you for spending/losing untold millions bringing the Xbox to the market place. Xbox live is great too. Just ashame about Japan eh mate?



Can anyone better this?

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Deer bill.

Your box has given me such pleaure. Never before have I waited so long for a woman's pussy, but here you stand with your 'microsoft' trying to get it up.

When it slides in I feel complete, halo makes me me shriek and I just wanna suck you till you fill my mouth with semen.

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Dear Bill,

Thanks for last night. The cocaine and hookers were my particular favourite items of the evening, and I think I can say the same for the guys. That brown haired one really stopped smiling once she'd seen big bill in action, eh?

Anyway, thanks for coming up with that console you made. Yeah, the one that does the online gaming thing. The KY Box! LOL WTF!? I used to use mine to watch the boobies playing volley ball, but that new halo2 (heh, I said halo, as in ring!) kinda has me grinning from ear to ear. especially when I'm winning and hurling abuse at the kids.

Anyway. Strip poker on Friday night? Shelly's coming over. yeah, that Shelly. All followed by some beer guzzling games, mailbox baseball and naked towel fights in the shower room. Just after we've taped Idei Nobuyuki's buns up, heh.

The 'dorm guys'



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Hey Bill

Thanks for supporting the war in Iraq. Your companies contribution in farenheit/911 really showed up what a true capitalist you are. You are so willing to spread MS technology to the heathen masses, after all they have the oil to pay for it.

My Bud,

George W. ;)

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Love the way he shows the modded xbox screen.


Dear bill

I must admit i thought the xbox would be dead in the waters by now, the gc was so hyped up compared to it and id say had the bigger/better launch, but then xbox live came about, oh my god, at first i didnt think it'd work too well, sorta like the Dreamcast, okay, but an empty feeling, but its not, its great. Damn great!

So well done.

Its like a PS2, jsut bigger and ten times better in everyway with a hint of Sega on top.

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Dear Bill, I wrote but you still ain't callin

I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got him

There probably was a problem at the post office or something

Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot him

but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father

If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?

I'ma name her Bonnie

I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him

I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan

I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man

I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was phat

Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,

just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan

This is Chods

Dear Bill, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance

I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans

If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert

you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother man, he's only six years old

We waited in the blistering cold for you,

four hours and you just said, "No."

That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol

He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you

you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way

I never knew my father neither;

he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're saying in your songs

so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on

cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like I know you Bill, no one does

She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up

You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose

Sincerely yours, Chods -- P.S.

We should be together too

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,

this'll be the last package I ever send your ass

It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters;

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway

Hey Bill, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"

about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning

but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning

Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy

and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall

I love you Bill, we coulda been together, think about it

You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it

I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me

See Bill;

Shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk!

Hey Bill, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk

but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you

cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?

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What are you using to shelve all your games on the wall? I want! :(

Those are black plastic U-shaped profiles used to position wallboards (drywall) on the floor and/or ceiling from your basic DIY-shop. They're stuck to the wall using double-sided tape and have nails beneath to support weight, and I used elastic band to keep the boxes in place.

There seems to be quite a demand for this system :D

Maybe I should go and exploit it!

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Dear X-Box chippers, hackers and coders,

Thank you for making these things actually worth owning, if only for the emulators, MP3s, DivX and multi-region DVD playing.



Dear Cloney,

You could get all that on a PC.



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