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Let's Write A Big Letter To Bill Gates


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Dear Bill

I have a gamecube.

But I do own a real license for Visual Studio.net

Your company gave it to me for free, so I would become dependant on

your compilers when I, perhaps in the future, become proffesional.

Why don't you give me an xbox too?

Sincerely yours

Vamecum

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Hi Bill!

This xbox, eh? It's quite an impressive piece of kit! Now all I need is for Windows XP not to fuck up on me every 5 minutes and your entire product range can look after my every need, whim and sexy desire (pr0n lolz) - just like Hal from that Space Odyssey movie!

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Dear Bill,

When can we expect to see some original software on the Xbox? Also I see you've backtracked on your statement about not wanting to engulf the system with PC ports!, Thats a very clever move as people today seem to love shovelware.

And thank you for the continual release of dull generic first person shooters, With this oversaturation of the market you are really spoiling us.

Up yours sincerly

Mr 'K

P.S- Whats up with the RGB output Bill? If I wanted to use something that looked like composite I'd use the cheapass lead you kindly included in the box.

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Dear Bill

Thanks for the hard drive and PC architecture.

Thanks for giving Nintendo $350million for nothing.

No thanks for the piss-poor DAC.

For next time how's about some online games that keep my friends interested for longer than a week before they trade them in?

Thanks,

Burai.

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Dear Bill,

Thanks for omitting progressive scan capabillity from the PAL Xboxes. You've forced me to perform a soft mod to get the picture quality that the machine is capable of and I deserve, and in the process I've learnt how to run emulators and copied games. Thanks very much.

timdp

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What a great idea!

I love self-congratulation :D

Anyway, yes, thanks for providing something that doesn't need upgrading every six months, and that can allow me to play MAME games on my telly without having to fiddle with a TV Out card. (before I acquired a 'box I was stuckwith a 450mhz dino, y'see)

Regards,

qazimod

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That crystal Xbox is cool, but you should have bought the limited edition of Halo 2... this boxart is hideous!

I know, but I got banned from Live the night before Halo II so I had to buy a Halo II bundle the next day. My hardcore credentials are unscathed. I got Tiger Woods 2005 with it as well, I had a look at it yesterday and noticed it's not on Live. Curses.

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I know, but I got banned from Live the night before Halo II so I had to buy a Halo II bundle the next day. My hardcore credentials are unscathed. I got Tiger Woods 2005 with it as well, I had a look at it yesterday and noticed it's not on Live. Curses.

I thought the new Tiger Woods was online.

Uh?

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I thought the new Tiger Woods was online.

Uh?

So did I. You know on the back of the Xbox games where it has Live Enabled, System Link and all the other features listed? On Tiger Woods 2005 they're all greyed out apart from Players 1-4, Memory Unit 19 Blocks and In Game Dolby Digital. No custom soundtracks, system link or content download. It's not even Live enabled so your friends can see what you're playing.

Conclusion = golf is for queers.

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So did I. You know on the back of the Xbox games where it has Live Enabled, System Link and all the other features listed? On Tiger Woods 2005 they're all greyed out apart from Players 1-4, Memory Unit 19 Blocks and In Game Dolby Digital. No custom soundtracks, system link or content download. It's not even Live enabled so your friends can see what you're playing.

Conclusion = golf is for queers.

So, if it has the live enabled strip on the front/side, what exactly is it online for - leaderboards?

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Dear Bill,

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be hardcorererer than all of my mates by owning a stupidly large controller for a mech simulator that I very rarely play.

As you can see, it is in the centre of my games playing area.

mygamingsetup1.jpg

Although i've not got a lot of games for your xbox, it has to be my favourite console ever. Thanks a bunch.

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So, if it has the live enabled strip on the front/side, what exactly is it online for - leaderboards?

It doesn't have the Live strip on the front - no leaderboards or worldwide rankings. I thought all Xbox games had to be at least Live enabled these days so it was a surprise to see this, I'm going to bung it on the HD of my Yod@box and trade it in. Once again - thanks Bill!

Check this out from the back of the box - "NEW EA SPORTS GAME FACE !! From tattoos and piercings to the scar on your cheek, this mind blowing tool lets you infinitely customise every detail of your character, while adorning him with the top gear available"

AMAZING. Just what a golf game needs.

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Dear Bill,

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be hardcorererer than all of my mates by owning a stupidly large controller for a mech simulator that I very rarely play.

As you can see, it is in the centre of my games playing area.

mygamingsetup1.jpg

Although i've not got a lot of games for your xbox, it has to be my favourite console ever. Thanks a bunch.

Did you spray a Saturn gold?

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Dear Bill

I am Mr. Denis Luseni and my sister is Miss Lilian Luseni, we are the

children of late Chief Brewa Luseni from Sierra Leone. I am writing you

in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance to transfer our

cash of nine Million Dollars ($9,000.000.00) now in the custody of a

private Security trust firm in Europe the money is in trunk box

deposited and declared as family valuables by my late father as a matter

of fact the company does not know the content as money, although my

father made them to under stand that the box belongs to his foreign

partner.

Source of the money:

My late father Chief Brewa Luseni , a native of Kono District in the

Northerh province of Sierra Leone, was the General Manager of Sierra

Leone Mining co-operation (S.L.M.C.) Freetown . According to my father,

this money was the income accrued from Mining Co-operation's over draft

and minor sales.

Before the peak of the civil war between the rebels forces of Major Paul

Koroma and the combined forces of ECOMOG peace keeping operation that

almost destroyed my country, following the forceful removal from power

of the civilian elected President Ahmed Tejan Kabbah by the rebels. My

father had already made arrangement for his family thats talking about

my mother, my little sister and myself to be evacuated to Cotonou

Republic of Benin with the CERTIFICATE OFDEPOSIT he made with a security

firm in Europe through the aid of U.N evacuation team. From there we

moved to Netherlands after the death of my mother with the help of the

red cross in Benin Republic. We are now in the Netherlands in political

asylum.

During the war in my country, and following the indiscriminate looting

of Public and Government properties by the rebel forces, the Sierra

Leone mining coop. Was one of the target looted and it was destroyed. My

father including

other top Government functionaries were attaked and killed by the rebels

in November 2000 because of his relationship with the civilian

Government of Ahmed Tejan Kabbah.

As a result of my father's death , and with the news of my uncle's

involvement in the air crash in January it dashed our hope of survival.

The untimely deaths caused my mother's heart failure and other related

complications of which she later died in the hospital after we must have

spent a lot of money on her early this year . Now my 19 years old sister

and myself are alone in this strange country ( THE NETHERLANDS)

suffering without any care or help. Without any relation, we are now

like refugees and orphans.

Our only hope now is in you and the box deposited in the Security Firm

To this effect, I humbly solicit your assistance in the followings ways.

1. to assist me claim this box from the security Firm as our beneficiary

2. to transfer this money (USD$9M) in your name to your country

3. to make a good arrangement for a joint business investment on our

behalf in your country and you, our Adviser/ Manager

For your assistance, I have agreed with my younger sister that 15% of

the total amount will be for your effort and another 1 % to cover all

the expenses that may incurre during the business transaction, Last, I

urge you to keep this transaction strictly confidential as no one knows

our where about.

Please as you show your willingness, Forward to us your full name,

address and Tel/ Fax numbers, to me.

earnestly awaiting your response.

Denis Luseni

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Dear William Gates,

I hope you don't mind me calling you William do you? Well anyway when you release the Xbox 2 could you at least put a demo disc in the box. Because I'm gonna import one as the wait times here are a lot longer than the US. The last time I imported the company forgot to add the games in too so I had nothing to play when it arrived. Have you ever tried importing a console when it first comes out? It's really fun to do!

Yours Rllmuk forum

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Dear Mr. Denis Luseni

I am Mr William Gates and my collegue is Mr Bob Balmer, together we run Microsoft, a well known software firm based in Redwood City. I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance to transfer our cash of nine billion dollars ($9,000.000,000.00) now in the custody of unsuspecting customers around the world. The money is currently in their wallets and bank accounts but with your help we can soon rectify that.

etc, etc...

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