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Hip Hop And Games


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Hip hop. Games. Why not combine the two for some reason? EA tried it with DefJam Vendetta, which was rubbish. Acclaim tried it with Wu Tang: Taste the Pain, which looked like it was going to be amazing right up until you actually played the game, when it turned out to be rubbish. Conclusion: hip hop games are currently rubbish. In order to redress the balance, why not try thinking up some punning combinations of possible hip hop/game fusions, and imagining what the game might be like in your head? It's amazing! Here, look at some examples:

'Ghostface Killah Gorilla'- take it back to the old-skool with this prime cut of low-res eighties gaming, featuring a killer hook sampled from 'Donkey Kong'. You have to control Ghostface as he scales the outside of the Wu mansion, collecting gambinos or something, while avoiding barrels thrown from the roof by Ol' Dirty Bastard.

'Tokyo Canibus Driver'- drive round Tokyo picking up passengers and battling with them- win as many battles as possible before you arrive at the record studio and release a shit tune, ending your career. Earn bonus points for accusing LL Cool J of being gay.

'Slick Rick Dangerous'- Once upon a time not long ago, his Slickness explores a Mayan tomb seeking gold for his teeth. Watch out that your wonky depth perception doesn't get you impaled on a spike- "It hurts Rick, take it out of me!"

Raekwon Piece Mansion- slot together the Wu mansion out of perfectly-regular blocks, ensuring that no two members of the clan are ever placed next to their alter ego. Cripes, watch out! You've stuck Bobby Digital next to RZA! And if ODB touches Dirt McGurt, something horrible will happen. Incarcerate those scarfaces, yo.

Quasimoto GP- Exactly like Moto GP, only sped up slightly.

There are literally millions more possibilities! All of them almost certainly better than these ones. Think up some more.

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